Have you ever bought those packs of discount movie tickets at Costco? They are a way to get movie tickets at $7.75 instead of $10 each.

Unfortunately, you might have to stand in line five times to use them.

First, you need to buy the cardboard ticket coupon placeholder.

Costco has some of the longest lines I ever stand in. They are always long and Costco doesn't offer an express lane for people who are just buying a few things. I believe they maintain long lines because they don't want you to just stop by to pick up a few things. They want dedicated shoppers.

They do offer a self-checkout, which is an improvement.

The second line is at the "cage", where, when it is your turn, you exchange your cardboard ticket coupon placeholder with actual movie coupons. Here they check your receipt, take your cardboard and give you your actual movie ticket coupons.

The third line is at the Costco exit. Here you must wait in line to have your cart items checked against your reciept. This helps prevent customers from joining forces with criminal cashiers in a theft scheme. If they don't check your receipt, your cashier could have boxed up two bottles of Patron while only charging you for one.

This exit line has particularly tragic consequences for me, because I consistantly lose my paper reciept in the 45 feet between the cashiers and the exit.

Finally out of Costco, you are ready to wait in the fourth line, at the theatre box office. When you reach the front of this line you'll exchange your movie ticket coupons with real movie tickets to the film of your choice.

Then its time for line number five. Waiting to get into the theatre itself. This is a good line. The longer the theatre line, the more full the theatre is going to be and the more fun the film experience is going to be (Tyler Perry fans, apprentice wizards, jedifarians or twihards notwithstanding).

Enjoy the movie! You earned it!