News Impact Item - Celebrity Comments

THINGS FOR SALE THAT I WILL MAIL YOU
David Horvitz would like to sell you a souvenir of his latest adventure
http://davidhorvitz.com/if/index.html

For $8, I will sleep with a homeless person and send you a used bandaid from his or her facial injuries.

Andy Dick
Friday 22nd of February 2008 12:13 pm

For $25, I will brush my teeth. I'll send you the rest of the tube of toothpaste, because I will have no further use for it.

Steven Seagal
Friday 22nd of February 2008 12:28 pm

For a $15,000 donation to the Oprah OH! Foundation, I'll have one of the guests at our "Legends of Stardom" Brunch sign a napkin, and it will be available at the front desk of Harpo Productions in Chicago for you to pick up.

Oprah
Friday 22nd of February 2008 12:36 pm

If you give me $150,000, I will still not find the WMD's

Hans Blix
Friday 22nd of February 2008 1:00 pm

If you give me $0. I will run away from your wedding.

Jennifer Wilbanks
Friday 22nd of February 2008 2:05 pm

Give me $15,000,000 and I will stop taking HGH

Sylvester Stallone
Friday 22nd of February 2008 2:23 pm

For $1.2 billion USD, you may be the next Vice President of the United States! Yes, YOU!

Barack Obama
Friday 22nd of February 2008 3:14 pm

For $25 I will be able to feed my kids tonight. Can you spare some change?

Kevin Federline
Friday 22nd of February 2008 3:30 pm

For $0.50 I will change my name to "1 dollar!"

50 Cent
Friday 22nd of February 2008 3:31 pm

Who needs money to buy things? I know I don't

Winona Ryder
Friday 22nd of February 2008 4:09 pm

For $27.50 I will make you a bloody fucking risotto, you bloody donkey!

Gordon Ramsey
Friday 22nd of February 2008 8:43 pm

Fo $1000 I will send one of my 8 baby muvva child support for one mumf.

Flava Flav
Friday 22nd of February 2008 8:44 pm

For $399 I will be your new phone. For everyone that paid $599 for me I offer this: SUCKERS!!!

Iphone
Friday 22nd of February 2008 8:48 pm

For 10 bucks I will have another shot of Jagermeister and give you a BJ behind the dumpster of some dive ass bar.

Tara Reid
Friday 22nd of February 2008 8:50 pm

What is it with selling things that people don't need anyway? And I'm not talking about Bee Movie. I promise to never do that again.

Jerry Seinfeld
Friday 22nd of February 2008 8:52 pm

For $3 million, I'll create you my shittiest movie ever.

M Night Shymalayan
Saturday 23rd of February 2008 7:58 am

For listening to my songs with more than one friend I will sue your ass. You will become the homeless person that sleeps with Andy Dick. Do not mess with Prince. I will also serve you pancakes after I whup you at b-ball.

Prince
Saturday 23rd of February 2008 9:20 am

For $42,000,000, doctors can ressurrect me from the dead. Return on investment in 1 week from rednecks who will pay to see me crash and die all over again? A cool billion.

Dale Earnhardt
Saturday 23rd of February 2008 11:02 am

For $500 I will be in your movie...really...Pleeeeease.

Chris Kattan
Saturday 23rd of February 2008 11:32 am

Yarrgh, for $16 ye can have a liter of th'Captain in ye! Iff'n ye catch my drift.

Captain Morgan
Saturday 23rd of February 2008 5:17 pm

If you give me $1 I will start impeachment hearing on George Bush, make it $2 and I censor Clinton.

Nancy Pelosi
Saturday 23rd of February 2008 9:23 pm

SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Sunday 24th of February 2008 12:47 am

I own a country. What you got? Thought so, chump.

Prince Harry
Sunday 24th of February 2008 12:48 am

I'm Orville Redenbacher...and I approved this message!

Orville Redenbacher
Monday 25th of February 2008 8:17 am

For $20, I'll put baby in a corner. Make it $100 and I will log dance with you... you'll have the time of your life. You've never felt like this before, it's the truth, and I owe it ALL to you.

Patrick Swayze
Monday 25th of February 2008 10:43 am

Comments:

Your Name:
(Please comment if you are one of the following public figures)

hidden nickname: (optional)

News Impact Menu.
Regulators looking at antibacterial in soap
Popularity of tricolsan impact merits look by federal scientists
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE63759M20100408
Comments

Tough Mudder Race Registration
Insane Tough Person run at Bear Creek, PA.
http://toughmudder.com/bear-creek-map/
Comments

Detroit flight plot may prove boon for security firms
especially the makers of full-body scanners
http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5iKKQ0CXZklGYUcVQm2Au_IVqL7lA
Comments

How Much Clearance is There?
The other day I noticed a sign at porte-cochere at the Courtyard Marriot hotel.
http://www.cockeyed.com/personal/clearance/clearance.php
Comments

Movie Discussion: Inglorius Basterds
Spoilers.
http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1808404206/details
Comments

Movie Discussion: District 9
This Discussion Contains Spoilers.
http://movies.yahoo.com/summer-movies/district-9/1809961221
Comments

Jon Gosselin with new girlfriend in St. Tropez
What is the first thing YOU are going to do after you get divorced?
http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2009/07/13/jon-gosselin-new-girlfriend-new-design-gig/
Comments

Ben Affleck DVD Collection

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000AGQ5S?ie=UTF8&tag=cockeyedcom-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0000AGQ5S
Comments

Eyeclops Night Vision Goggles are Awesome
The goggles contain two seperate arrays of infrared lights
http://www.cockeyed.com/science/nightvision/nightvision01.shtml
Comments

The Fast Food Job Application Prank
It was an application best described as absurd.
http://www.cockeyed.com/pranks/job_application/job_application01.shtml
Comments

Ford, GM to cover car payments if buyer loses job
Ford and General Motors Corp. are offering payment protection plans to help reassure consumers
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gCkR253_Hxt49TGjzpVLooMnR5JgD97977G00
Comments

Man Claims Psychic Defrauded Him of 250,000 dollars
He paid her to craft a golden statue that was supposed to ward off negativity.
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090310/D96QRQ7O0.html
Comments

Squirrel Roadside Memorial in Sacramento
I do not know who put this up.
http://www.cuteoverload.com/2009/02/angela-b.html#comments
Comments

Saving water Tips on Craigslist
To make the 5 gallon bucket more confortable for sitting, cut a piece of pipe insulation.
http://sacramento.craigslist.org/vnn/1019953787.html
Comments

Cash 4 Gold would like to melt down and recast their reputation
A polite letter, with a clear goal: Bury the Cash 4 Gold name in my article.
http://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/goldkit/reputation.shtml
Comments

Trivia for Apocalypto (2006)
I love the movie trivia at IMDB. This is a great batch.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0472043/trivia
Comments

Modern Hobo Codes
thirty-three new hobo codes to describe modern treasures and hazards
http://www.cockeyed.com/archive/hobo/modern_hobo.html
Comments

Piven doctor recommended that he leave Broadway play
Found unusually high levels of mercury in his blood
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117997590.html?categoryid=15&cs=1
Comments

Luxury cruise ship outruns pirates
30,000-ton luxury cruise ship outran pirates off the coast of Yemen this weekend
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/12/01/pirates.cruise.ship/?iref=mpstoryview
Comments

How to make helium bubbles
please give suggestions here on helium bubblemaking techniques
http://www.cockeyed.com/science/bubbles/bubbles.shtml
Comments

British girl allowed to refuse heart transplant
13-year-old British girl has undergone nearly a dozen surgeries in her young life
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iAVcnV_Jed6S0pu_tX3S13Ah7bZgD94CRB7O2
Comments

DHL cuts 9,500 U.S. jobs
Delivery firm to end U.S.-only operations
http://money.cnn.com/2008/11/10/news/companies/dhl/?postversion=2008111010
Comments

Migraines May Cut Breast Cancer Risk
Study Shows Women With Migraine Headaches May Have Lower Risk of Breast Cancer
http://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/news/20081105/migraines-may-cut-breast-cancer-risk
Comments

What my votes are worth, in dollars
craigslist posting on the prices of votes in California
http://sacramento.craigslist.org/pol/905831436.html
Comments

Columbia signs on for Preacher feature
Columbia Pictures has picked up then movie rights to Preacher, the popular 1990s comic series
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3ia758ca52fdc0aac4698b23b4c5a8da7c?imw=Y
Comments

the Halloween Candy Code
use our marks to reap the best full-size chocolate bars while avoiding Chex mix
http://www.cockeyed.com/archive/candy_code/candy_code.html
Comments

Cockerham Halloween Costume 2008
Halloween 2008 will be the tenth year in a row for me, detailing the building process
http://www.cockeyed.com/incredible/2008/box01.shtml
Comments

News Comments are working again!
Please visit and leave a comment.
http://www.cockeyed.com
Comments

Sam Raimi Leads Spartacus on Starz
Series, Slated For Summer 2009 Premiere, To Feature Graphic Novel Look
http://www.multichannel.com/article/CA6609003.html
Comments

Framingham State officials apologize for letter
mixed the usual, earnest pitch for donations with long sections of blah, blah, blah.
http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2008/10/framingham_stat.html
Comments

Reports: EliteXC out of business, cancels bouts
The parent company of the EliteXC mixed martial arts circuit is closing its doors for good.
http://abclocal.go.com/wtvd/story?section=news/sports&id=6461163
Comments

Virtual fence along U.S.-Mexico border delayed
- Fence consisting of sensors, cameras, and drone aircraft is running into technical snags
http://www.news.com/8301-10784_3-9881621-7.html?tag=nefd.top
Comments

Jackson faces Neverland auction
could lose his Neverland ranch if he fails to pay 25 million
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7266186.stm
Comments

How much is inside thread count
Martha Stewart brand pima cotton pillowcases claim to have 360 threads per square inch
http://www.cockeyed.com/inside/threadcount/threadcount01.shtml
Comments

Stealth bomber crashes; pilots safe
Aircraft was was taking off with three others on their last flight out of Guam
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/02/23/stealth.bomber.crash.ap/index.html
Comments

THINGS FOR SALE THAT I WILL MAIL YOU
David Horvitz would like to sell you a souvenir of his latest adventure
http://davidhorvitz.com/if/index.html
Comments

Report: Security relaxed at Obama speech
the order to stop checking people for weapons had been intended to speed up seating
http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Top_News/2008/02/21/report_security_relaxed_at_obama_speech/8649/
Comments

FAA wants to know if pilots fell asleep
Go Flight 1002 was headed for Hilo Airport around 10 a.m. but overshot the airport by 15 miles.
http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2008-02-20-go-sleep_N.htm
Comments

Pakistan Opposition Leads as Voters Reject Musharraf
Opposition parties were poised to win parliamentary elections.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601080&sid=abdpX6uQDIN0&refer=asia
Comments

Pakistan Opposition Leads as Voters Reject Musharraf
Pakistan's opposition parties were poised to win parliamentary elections.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601080&sid=abdpX6uQDIN0&refer=asia
Comments

Man arrested for making more than 27,000 calls to 911
Authorities have arrested a prolific 911 cell phone caller.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/02/15/national/a140459S07.DTL
Comments

Miley Cyrus Apologises For Seat Belt Gaff
Is seen riding in an auto without a belt in her new concert film
http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/40567/miley-cyrus-apologises-for-seat-belt-gaff
Comments

The Third-Inning Blooper Reel
With only a month until spring training, baseball did not get much of a rest this off-season
http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/spoofs_satire/the_thirdinning_blooper_reel.php
Comments

Introducing the Eyeclops - Super Magnifying Camera
the Eyeclops is so powerful, it is actually hard to find things detailed enough to explore
http://www.cockeyed.com/science/eyeclops/eyeclops.shtml
Comments