and i was one of the pirates... just like my car chase, i could not go over 5 miles per hour

OJ Simpson
Monday 01st of December 2008 10:30 am

They make it seem so easy.

Caveman
Monday 01st of December 2008 10:30 am

i am not taking credit for this failed attempt

Johnny Depp
Monday 01st of December 2008 12:23 pm

Murdered by pirates is good!

Captain Morgan
Monday 01st of December 2008 1:34 pm

Sorry, expertise lies in Butt Pirates.

Bob Saget
Monday 01st of December 2008 2:01 pm

Dangit! We lost another one!

Dytek Guy
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:42 pm

Laaaame.

Johnny Depp
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:42 pm

I like pirates.

Pee Wee Herman
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:43 pm

I'd do a pirate.

Madonna
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:44 pm

I'd eat a pirate. And his little parrot too.

Michael Moore
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:45 pm

I'd snort a pirate.

Amy Winehouse
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:45 pm

I'd shoot a pirate, if I weren't dead.

Charleton Heston
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:47 pm

iPirate! (light bulb flashing over head)

Steve Jobs
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:47 pm

I killed a couple pirates once.... maybe twice.

Uma Thurman
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:48 pm

I didn't like it much, but I'd do it again.

Uma Thurman
Monday 01st of December 2008 3:57 pm

Doh! This is like being outrun by a.... I'm sorry, I can't think of anything larger than a cruise ship.

Javier Bardem
Monday 01st of December 2008 4:21 pm

How about a super star destroyer, Javier?

Carrie Fisher
Tuesday 02nd of December 2008 3:34 am

How about a pair of 24 inch pythons? What cha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you!!!!!!!!!

Hulk Hogan
Tuesday 02nd of December 2008 7:22 am

well, in a couple of months my company will be able to supply anti-pirate security; from water-boarding to ship to ship missiles. Just let me know your needs.

Dick Cheney
Tuesday 02nd of December 2008 9:44 am

If the pirates were republicans I would do a movie on them.

Michael Moore
Tuesday 02nd of December 2008 11:20 am

And then eat them.

Michael Moore
Tuesday 02nd of December 2008 12:06 pm

What the hell, man? The Wii has been out for two years now and I still can't buy one? Why are they going for $400 and up? That's retarded. It's not even as good a system as the XBOX 360, and that's down to $200.

Tim Russert
Tuesday 02nd of December 2008 3:17 pm

Obviously, we pirates are very, very slow.

Captain Morgan
Tuesday 02nd of December 2008 5:37 pm

Hey Cap'n, need a lift?

Dale Earnhardt
Tuesday 02nd of December 2008 5:38 pm

Damn dirty apes...I mean pirates.

Charleton Heston
Wednesday 03rd of December 2008 2:10 pm

ONE WORD COMMENTS. GO!

Smarty Jones
Thursday 04th of December 2008 8:51 pm

Twat!

Michelle Kwan
Thursday 04th of December 2008 8:51 pm

CLEESE!

John Clease
Thursday 04th of December 2008 8:52 pm

ROCK!

Pete Townsend
Thursday 04th of December 2008 8:52 pm

didjaeverwunder?

Thursday 04th of December 2008 8:53 pm

saintlike

Miley Cyrus
Thursday 04th of December 2008 8:54 pm

THE juice

Barry Bonds
Thursday 04th of December 2008 8:55 pm

THE juice

Barry Bonds
Thursday 04th of December 2008 8:56 pm

My father was a British citizen since he was Kenyan. That means I cannot be president under the "natural born citizen" clause of the US Constitution. The Supreme Court will decide today whether to hear the case of Donofrio vs. Wells. Watch closely. I hope I can slip under the radar and steal the election.

Barack Obama
Friday 05th of December 2008 8:17 am

your a citizen of oprah, BARACK ANATOR

Oprah
Friday 05th of December 2008 12:03 pm

Call me Colonel Ingus when you see my shining face coming your way!

Christopher Walken
Friday 05th of December 2008 2:07 pm

Or try my given name, Anal Angus!

Christopher Walken
Friday 05th of December 2008 8:29 pm

Bajiggity jig!

Vanilla Ice
Saturday 06th of December 2008 12:10 am

17 word comments...go!

Smarty Jones
Saturday 06th of December 2008 9:01 am

popcorn?

Orville Redenbacher
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:13 pm

cat?

Adam Sandler
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:13 pm

boogie-in-the-butt

Eddie Murphy
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:14 pm

lisel-von-trapp-was-a-hottie

Julie Andrews
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:15 pm

word

Vanilla Ice
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:16 pm

cleveland

Dennis Kucinich
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:16 pm

gopher

Bill Murray
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:17 pm

pseudo-science

Oprah
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:17 pm

dick (cheney)

Nancy Pelosi
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:18 pm

dick (dick)

Andy Dick
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:18 pm

son-of-a-bitch!

Josh Halloway
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:19 pm

word

Kanye West
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:20 pm

python(s)

Hulk Hogan
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:20 pm

monty?

John Clease
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:20 pm

drinks?

Lindsey Lohan
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:21 pm

whipping boy

Martha Stewart
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:22 pm

underwear!

Will Farrell
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:22 pm

I meant comments with 17 words...not 17 comments with 1 word. You know, like a haikau?

Smarty Jones
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:24 pm

You mean like 15 different flavors of infused rum?

Captain Morgan
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:25 pm

The juice got canned

OJ Simpson
Saturday 06th of December 2008 8:27 pm

I can get it in a can???

Barry Bonds
Sunday 07th of December 2008 10:50 am

I got it from a can.

Roger Clemens
Sunday 07th of December 2008 3:08 pm

- Pirates have slow boat - - Trying hard, they don't catch up - - Luxury escapes -

Cillian Murphy
Monday 08th of December 2008 1:36 pm

- Pirates chase money - - Thirty-thousand tons too quick - - Pity poor pirates -

Ellen Page
Monday 08th of December 2008 2:27 pm

They were probably ghost pirates! From space!

David Duchovny
Wednesday 10th of December 2008 3:51 am

What do you call an irate pie? A Pirate, dummy! yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk

Carrot Top
Wednesday 10th of December 2008 3:56 am

Arrrr! We'll catch 'em next time!

Johnny Depp
Sunday 14th of December 2008 8:54 pm

Don't expect to see them breaking my record, or even making the Kessel run any time soon. ...and they claim to be pirates. Meh.

Harrison Ford
Monday 15th of December 2008 5:51 am

You m-m-m-m-mean they couldn't even catch the cruise ship in their m-m-m-m-motor boat? (nothing a 1.21 jigawatt upgrade wouldn't fix)

Michael J. Fox
Tuesday 16th of December 2008 2:00 pm

I LOVE MY NEW CALENDAR! Too bad the HD is only 720p.

Elvis
Tuesday 16th of December 2008 7:29 pm

My calendar showed up in 1080p. Looks like you got PUNKED. Enjoy trying to play your calendar on a 1080p TV. Sucker!

Ashton Kutcher
Wednesday 17th of December 2008 12:19 pm

So easy...even a moron can read it!

Carrot Top
Thursday 18th of December 2008 5:39 am

time for a new topic... how about "bad news... the economy just exploded"

Simon J. Smith
Thursday 18th of December 2008 6:09 am