Divided Review Project: Prank the Monkey - the ZUG Book of Pranks

Part 2

On Sunday, January 28, I dropped 162 envelopes in the mail. Each envelope contained a single page from Sir John Hargrave's literary masterwork, Prank the Monkey.

Hundreds of volunteers stood by their mailbox, ready to help with this massive project: Reviewing an entire book.

The second reviews are in! I'll eventually put these into the proper order by page number, but for now, I'll leave them in the order I receive them.

Pages Review
107-108 107-108. Conclusion to the 'Chick Juice' section. This page recommends a large chocolate rabbit as the best way to utilize the aphrodisiac 
properties of chocolate. Very entertaining. 
217-218 Page 217-218
This morning I was let out of my first class early which enabled me to get breakfast. Before ordering my bagel and hot chocolate, I went to 
my mail box and to my surprise, my page had arrived! As a spread the cream cheese over the bagel I started to read page 217. The top, right
hand corner says "Royal Pain In the Ass" and I assume that this page is part of a section. Taking up most of page 217 is a photocopy of a 
name change certificate. According to this, Christopher Ashton Kutcher changed his name, legally, to Sir John Myers Hargrave on 14th of 
December 2005. Adding "Sir" to the name seems to have been prompted after being rejected for an Honours Nomination by the Queen of England.
Also on page 217 is a dark photocopy of Sir John's Massachusetts driver's license, noting the name reading "HARGRAVE, SIR JOHNM". The 
photocopy is quite dark and somewhat hard to read.

Page 218 is mostly a transcript of a phone call that Sir John had with the British Cabinet Office. In short he let them know he had legally 
changed his name to "Sir John Hargrave" after his rejection. This page also has a photocopy of Sir John's YMCA membership card which reads
"Sir john Hargrave". At least they got more of it correct than the DMV.


pp. 287-288
A prank is usually intended to be either funny or mean-spirited. For these two pages of Prank the Monkey, it would appear to be the latter. 
Chapter headings across the top of the two pages labeled "Death" and "The John Hargrave Memorial Concert" appear to reinforce that belief. To
call these "pages of a book" seems to be a misnomer as well as they are 8.5" long and the margins are so large as to only provide 3.5" of 
text across the page. Newspaper column would be a better term. If you can't judge a book by it's cover, you can try to judge it from pages 
287 and 288. In my mind, it wasn't worth the cost of stamp Rob used to mail it.

105-106 My pages are numbered 105 and 106. They are back to back, how lucky.
The words describe John Hargraves attempt at spiking his date's oysters with Spanish Fly, however he loses track of which oysters are tainted 
and which ones are clean. John ends up eating a tainted oyster and humorously describes getting a boner.
The funniest part of page 106 follows: "Do I chew it?" she asked, tentatively loading one up wiht horseradish.
"No. Under no circumstances should you chew," I said. "Just hold your breath and swallow."
"This really is like sex," she said, kicking it back. And then I realized why watching a woman eat an oyster is so incredibly sexy: it's the 
closest most of us will ever get to seeing live lesbian action.

Page 105 has two black and white photos on it, the top one is of someone (presumably the author) putting Spanish Fly in one freshly shucked 
oyster. The bottom photo is of the author's date (victim).
147/148 Pages 147/148.
This describes part of John and Als quest to obtain an interview with the Mother of All Nerds, Bill Gates. It details a party involving "fat, 
bearded UNIX admins and music at "bowel-liquifying levels", possibly the blueprint for all Zug gathers there after. This single page 
reinforces my longing to have a gender reassignment surgery so I can have Johns babies. Well, if he wasn't gay anyhow.
Midgets Stronghurst, Ill.

Pages 255 and 256.
My pages review toll collection procedures on the Massachusetts Turnpike (coincidentially a rode that I use alost every day). The author 
describes experiment #1 (shortchanging the State by 3 cents in an automated lane). Other experiments presumably follow, but looks like I 
will have to buy the book to read the rest. Unless whoever got page 257 could send it to me? Thanks in advance.

Page 41-42 begin a test of how far companies will go to stand behind their guarantees. Three companies were chosen who are known for guaranteeing satisfaction with their products. Land's End, LLBean and Nordstrom were pitted against each other in a "satisfaction 
deathmatch" to see who would go the farthest to ensure total customer satisfaction. The page ends before the results were in, so I am going 
to definitely have to buy this book. I want to know who the ultimate champoion in the guarantee war is! This was a LOT of fun to do. 

Pages ?? and ?? ( no page numbers present ) are filled with virtually illegible cursive, scrawled on some sort of fey stationary depicting peaches and cherries. From what I can make out, spelling errors are rampant here. I think I see something about hamburger clowns. I'm not sure. Quality..hmmm. This could potentially be hilarious, but I found the writing almost entirely indecipherable. If only a translation was included. 


I received page 186 of Prank the Monkey by John Hargraves. It consisted solely of Elizabeth Hurley's Last Will and Testament. In this document, Ms. Hurley bequeathed all of her estate to a woman named Patricia Hodgson, and made the author, John Hargraves, sole executor.
However, should Ms. Hodgson die within 30 days of Ms. Hurley, Mr. Hodgson would become the sole inheritor of Ms. Hurley's estate. The document is signed, albeit crudely, with a writing instrument that appears to be a broad-tip Sharpie. Taken out of context, it's hard to 
imagine the use Mr. Hurley intended for this obvious forgery. Maybe he wants the readers to photocopy the page, fold it up and keep it in their wallets in case they happen to be in a bar full of gullible drunks when the tragic news of Ms. Hurley's untimely death appears on the 
I found it to be a bit thick reading, because of the legal jargon. And devoid of humor beyond my wild speculations. But I'm willing to give Mr. Hargraves the benefit of the doubt, and assume that all will be revealed (and hilarity will ensue) when the book is released.


contact Rob
science club | other pranks | How much is inside? | Home | Incredible Stuff I Made
January 31, 2007.

  • Photographic Height/Weight Chart
  • The Weight of Clothing
  • The Television Commercial Database
  • Terms and Conditions  Copyright 2007 Cockeyed.com