Poisonous Mexican Limes
Believe it or not, not every human act I perform is laid out on this website. Some I haven't written up yet.
For example, last year, while I was working at Blue Moon Printing, Mindy brought a dwarf lime tree into the office. The care tag on it caught my eye. The tag was printed on synthetic paper, a flexible, opaque plastic that we had been experimenting with at work.
Synthetic paper is perfect in applications where the printed matter is subjected to water, humidity or oil. It is more expensive than paper, but it really holds up in the kitchen or garden.
Synthetic paper. Your future. Today. A statement from the Synthetic Tree Council and this website.
Given the ability to make a similar tag, I set about creating a phony one for Mindy's plant.
I removed and photographed the care tag, and quickly dropped some new text over the old plant name: Poisonous Mexican Limes.
With a sheet of the precious synthetic loaded, I printed a pair of new tags. After some quick work with the scissors, I was ready to strike. I crept into Mindy's empty office and replaced her Sweet Limes tag with a new Poisonous Mexican Limes tag.
Lucky for her, she noticed the difference in seconds, and did NOT give this misrepresented citrus plant to her Mother in Law.
Mindy and Stephen and I got a laugh out of it. I held onto the other tag as a souvenir.
Fast-forward to last week, when I spotted an identical plant growing in a lawn near Chipotle on Capitol and 19th Street! Yes! The perfect opportunity!
The tree is on a home's private lawn, but it is so close to the sidewalk that anyone can examine the tag without trespassing.
Replacing the tag could be considered a crime, but think of all the lime-theft I'll be preventing!
You know what mom always said: When life gives you dwarf citrus trees, make poisonous Mexican limes!
I just replaced the tag on Friday night, so if you find yourself near 19th and Folsom downtown, stroll by and take a look.
But don't eat the limes!