How much is inside an order of fries?
No one knows.  They arrive in an odd-shaped scoop paper scoop, devoid of graduations or other markings, stategically mis-named to confuse the conscientious consumer.


French fries are one of the healthiest food items available to modern man.  A single order can fill your body's oil, salt and starch needs for the entire week.

On Saturday I headed to Daniel's house and we found out.

We drove to Burger King on San Francisco's Market Street & picked up a medium, large, and extra-large order of fries. The "medium" fries is their small size, so you are welcome to call the medium "small" and the large "medium", just be sure you make plenty of air-quotes with your fingers when you order.

Contrary to popular belief, when you order 3 packs, they don't ask you if you want fries with that. In fact, I think the guy at the counter was worried about our health.

We had to get the fries to Daniel's house for measurements, but we simultaniously realized that trying to keep a hot order of french frieds intact would be a very difficult task.

Indeed, in the late 1960s, the citizens of McDonaldland recognized a growing "fry guy" theft problem that was getting out of control, despite the best efforts of Big Mac Policeman. It was during those troubled times that 3rd District City Councilman McCheese rose through the ranks & became the national icon he is today.

After we got the fries, we headed to the supermarket and bought two jumbo potatoes...and some beer.

By the time we got back into the car, the Burger King fries had changed.

A simple drop in temperature had transformed the delicious fries into disgusting logs of oil-saturated potato pulp. It was amazing!

First we counted the fries.