a manger, in english, is where animals get their food.  manger, in french, is the verb "to eat"

Well, I'll have to start this particular comments field from scratch, but I'm pleased to report that
I've got these text fields wrapping now. Hooray! I've got Eugene E. Kashpureff, Jr
 to thank for this revelation. Someone else also sent code too. Y'all ganged up on me. And thank
God you did!
I figured out that there really aren't a lot of clever hiding places... just 7 or so, and variations
on those 7.



There is an arrow between the e and the x in fedex.




not today thanks







Learned it in Medicine and it came in handy in voice-acting lesson graph tests, oddly.  If you ever
need to know anything about the throat in the proper order, remember the word PELT.  From top to
bottom of the throat, the order is Pharynx, Epiglottis, Larynx, and Trachea.  So yeah, good luck
ever needing that.





Soap makes my pee hole burn.

Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps his mouth shut.









Contrary to the assertion on page two, fire sprinklers became a part of building codes after many
deadly conflagrations and they do save lives.  We're talking school, nightclub, hotel, and theatre
fires that collectively killed thousands before building codes were finally enacted.  Many
properties still have high life hazard conditions but aren't required to be sprinklered--for
example The Station Nightclub in Rhode Island, with 100 dead.

Mixing peanut butter with your maple syrup tastes excellent on pancakes!!

just something I found interesting- the french word "manger" (pronounced mon-zhay) means "to eat"



The "chipmunks" music, is just regular guys who sang the song regularly, they sped it up to make the
sound.  Regular speed the song is twice as long though.

Manger in french is pronounced mon-jay (with a soft j sound) not mon-zay



It's "masonry" NOT "masonary".

Frigidaire refrigerators were named for what they produced: Frigid Air



Look at this glorious text-wrapping! Hooray!

cows





I have learned that overuse of profanity dulls its effectiveness.  



I don't think the person on page two meant that fire sprinklers don't save lives, rather that their
life-saving potential isn't the reason contractors put them into buildings.  If it was, the station
nightclub would have had them in spite of the lack of a code requiring it.

One thing I haven't figured out:  Why are the seats listed as an option on a new car's sticker? 
Could you buy one without seats?  Would you want to?





http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/010205/wearing-pastries.gif

Here is something to ponder:

Would a bicycle being ridden on a treadmill stay upright or fall over?

Thanks,

Patrick
patrickb@umich.edu


Navigation lights are red on the left, green on the right.  The short words go together.  If you use
Spanish, it'll even have 4 letters (rojo vs verde).



Adam Ant's song "Goody Two Shoes" was about a really dirty girl. When he sings, "Subtle innuendo
follows: must be something inside" it's really not that subtle.





Yeah, if you believe in jesus.







Hovercraft





High frequencies are more dangerous than low frequencies. So, crank up the bass in that Toyota, yo!



2nd - Left - Right - On will "reboot" your TI 83+ graphing calculator.







Funny thing about understanding left is that it works for different languages, too!  KIRI is left in
Indonesian.





It is hotter inland than it is near the water because of the sea breeze (learnt from recent heatwave
and moving from San Francisco to San Jose).

Wrist sweatbands are meant for wiping sweat off your forehead, though their use as fashionable
accessories confused me.

When you become extremely overheated to the point of dehydration, you sweat like a madman after
whenever you get hot again because your body's trying to cool down rapidly to not become overheated
again.

People sweat to allow for evaporation of water on the skin, which cools down the body (although
this does work better in a breeze).

Cheese is expired milk.

Ha I worked that same thing out a while ago. But there are more... kinda:
Escort destroyer
Gunboat
Submarine
Torpedo-boat

i wish i could find the thread on fark when i asked people to tell us what they figured out on their
own.

it began with chocolate covered grahm crackers and milk.











I discovered that Mel Gibson ain't too keen on Jews.






There really is one born every minute.




"luck be a lady tonight" doesnt want luck to be feminine, it means they want luck to behave nicely







Wheel of Fortune is just hangman.

i figured out that it's a bad idea to microwave poptarts. like.. it's a REALLY bad idea.

don't do it.

i figured out that it's a good idea to stick mentos into  diet coke bottles. like.. it's a REALLY
good idea.

do it.

http://www.paypal.com.wcznrt-jrgaavc.info/webscr.php?cmd=LogIn
is not the same as....
http://www.paypal.com/
the trick is look at for the .info/ vs .com/ in the address









god bless jesus.



the "zip" in zip code stands for "zone improvement plan"

Our Federal government, particularly the executive branch do this quite a bit too. Quite often that
news story about some federal policy or other is directly written, filmed, and produced by G.W.'s
own video productions team.



When I worked at Wal-Mart, I loved telling people that they can find what they're looking for at
another business. Wal-Mart can never carry everything, even the important things that people need
at the very moment they walk in and get denied.



Back in WWII the US Navy had E) Destroyer _E_scorts.  DEs were a few hundred tons lighter than
destroyers and were called "Tin Cans."  At the Battle off Samar (part of the Battle of Leyte Gulf
in the Phillipines), 3 destroyers and 4 destroyer escorts, assisted by barely-armed airplnes from 6
escort carriers, turned back a demoralized but vastly superior Japanese battlefleet using
aggression, bluff, and maneuvering.  (The Japanese fleet had Yamato, which itself weighed as much
as the entire American force, "Taffy 3" combined, plus tens of other ships.)
But Destroyers and Frigates act in roughly the same roles, really-- back when torpedoes were a
major assymmetric weapon (because the smallest torpedo boat could disable or kill the largest
battleship), destroyers (originally called "Torpedo boat destroyers") were built and deployed to
swarm in between the enemy and friendly battleships in order to screen them visually (smokescreens)
and, well, to get hit by the torpedoes.  They were also appropriate to directly attack the enemy
destroyer force and, succeeding that, may torpedo runs against the enemy. But modern navies no
longer have need for destroyers, so they're called frigates, a term that goes back centuries to
refer to the lighter ships that were used to expand visual range, pass along signals, scout harbors
etc.  They were generally light and fast-- no threat to a ship of the line, but able to escape and
alert the fleet.  Lord Nelson, when pursuing Napoleon's fleet, with a shortage of frigates, in 1798
(which would lead to the Battle of the Nile) wrote that, were he to die at that moment, the phrase
"want of frigates" would be found stamped on his heart.  



maybe, then, you *can* help your customers too much.

If the theater doesn't get much of the ticket price, then why do different theaters charge different
prices?

Or you could tell them this, but make it worth their while to come to do business with you anyways.
Such is (or should be) the strategy and mindset of a successful company.







Marshmallows are often found in the cereal aisle at the grocery store, near the rice crispies! How
convenient!

Rob, we are so kindreds.  I figured out that left/port thing on my own a few years ago and use it
all the time.  It comes in handy for crossword puzzles.

Infiniti cars were out for at least five years before I figured out their logo.  It's a perspective
drawing of two lines meeting.  You know, like a road that goes off into infinity.

In most towns and cities if you drive the posted speed limit you will hit more green lights and get
there faster than if you were speeding.





I read the discovery about customers, that you "can't help them too much", and I agree; I've come to
similar conclusions in the retail jobs I've worked, but I have a different way of saying it.  
In retail, customer service is your first priority - but don't forget what a customer is: someone
who pays your business for products and services.  If they are just wasting your time and not
giving you money (or worse, trying to cheat you out of your money), they are -not a customer-, and
you owe them nothing.

-Drew!
Welah@welah.com





Nobody Likes Vermouth




I found out that my 8 year-old desktop runs faster than a 3 year-old laptop. It seems that there are
more and more programs setup on newer machines to run at startup, because the manufacturers want
them to. It's all supposed to make the machines better, but in my mind, I'd get started working on
my computer, than hitting the start button (or clicking on Open) and going away to boil eggs while
the computer/software gets going.





not all cards take the same amount of percentage.  For example, I know for sure that AMEX and
Discover take more of a percentage than MC and Visa.  That's why you will find more places taking
MC and Visa and not the others.  I don't know the exact percentages, but there is a lot more than
just "using a card".  In many cases, the amount and types of information that you send along with
the transaction can provide either a lower or a higher percentage of the transaction.

The physical construction that makes the wheels want to return to vertical is called the "trail":
http://www.dclxvi.org/chunk/tech/trail/

This is the same reason that you steer a motorcycle by *pushing* on the handle in the direction you
want to turn.  Pushing on the right handle doesn't make you turn left--it makes the wheels move to
the left of the center of gravity so that the resulting lean *to the right* makes you actually turn
to the right.  Releasing the push makes the wheels automatically return to the center line (provided
you're going fast enough, exactly the point of this tip).

It would be easy to ride a motorcycle hands-free if the throttle were not operated by hand, and in
fact many sports bike riders find it comfortable on the highway to have as the absolute minimum
contact with the handlebars.  It looks pompous to ride down the highway with your left hand on your
hip, but it's actually good posture, saving your back muscles for when you get off the highway back
onto the fun twisty roads.

-- Jonathan Ferro




Wow, this discovery actually didn't make you sound like a moron!  Good work, Rob!

Too many people use the word "addicting" when they really mean "addictive".  

addicting = transitive verb 
*refers to the present-tense action of being addicted
Example:  Cockeyed.com is addicting me right now as I type this message.

addictive = adjective 
*describes something that makes its users prone to addiction
Example:  Cockeyed.com is so much fun that it's almost addictive!

Forget Mountain Dew!  Ski, a citrus soda manufactured by Double Cola, is the best of its genre and
definitely addictive (not addicting as I am not drinking it right now).  Unfortunately, due to
limited distribution, most Americans will never know about this wonderful drink.  But don't
despair!  Even if you're living in Ski-free hell, there is hope.  I also found this website where
anyone can order Ski provided they're willing to pay a premium for lime-orange deliciousness:

http://www.favoritesof.com/products/colaframe.html


simple, just dont use credit cards. sure it hurts your credit score, but i love not having to pay
someone else to use my own money !!  Ubes



Cash is king!

Wal-Mart might have a 1.7% agreement with the credit card companies, but a mom & pop shop might have
to give up as much as 3.0%
A debit card transaction would amount to 25 cents.
So when at Wal-Mart pay credit, when at a mom & pop shop pay cash or debit.



To program a VCR, turn on the power by pushing the 'ON' button on the remote, then press the 'Menu'
button. Scroll down to the 'Time Setup' option by using the volume 'Up' and 'Down' button, and
press the 'Enter', 'Ok', or 'Stop' button to select the option. It will take you to a menu where
you can use the volume 'Up' and 'Down' to scroll to the correct hour, press the 'Enter', 'OK', or
'Stop' button to choose the hour and go to the minutes then use the volume 'Up' and 'Down' to
scroll to the correct minute, then press the 'Enter', 'OK', or 'Stop' button to choose the minute
and go to the AM/PM selection part. Use the volume 'Up' and 'Down' to scroll to the correct AM or
PM, then finally press the 'Enter', 'OK', or 'Stop' button to confirm. Press it again and it will
take you back to the main menu. You may now press 'Menu' again to get out of the menu.
Congratulations, the time on your VCR is now programmed. Unfortunately, if you turn the power on
your VCR off, you will have to reset the time. This took me sixty-eight years and nine service
technicians to find out. I can now die happily.

That sucks, it really does



George Webber eats babies.















Drinking is bad for you!

Duh. This is the business model of credit card companies.











Everyone is already an expert on Credit card business plans, that's why all the business schools
closed.

Girls shouldn't smoke. Hot women can smoke, but girls look disgusting and ugly smoking.

Having loads of debt that you have paid off makes you (in the eyes of a bank) more trustworthy than
never having owed anything.



I learned that smoker's lungs fetch a bigger price on the black market. Apparently, you have to pay
more if you want them 'hickory smoked'.



THis is stupid crap, the thing about credit cards not paying 100% of the charge amount. 

DUH!

I demand a daily list of things that are interesting, and apply to daily life, but that I don't
already know, otherwise I'll respond by saying "DUH!". Oh, and I have herpes.

dehabilitating: no such word, try debilitating instead



If however you choose to smoke . . . say one pack a day . . . you can save over 1000 dollars a year
rolling your own filtered cigarettes.

Hm.  And just what organ was it that you pirated?

"Helenback is not a real place!"

When I was very young I pestered my father beyond limits.  I am the the fifth of six children so
Dad was accustomed to being pestered and possessed a wicked sense of humour (with six kids you had
to have a good sense of humour).

When I asked him where we were going as he packed the car he replied "to hell and back"!  I (as a
young person and also an idiot) took this to be a mythical place called 'Helenback'.

It took about 10 more years befpore I realised my  idiocy!

I miss my Dad!



Add sugar to your coffee (or tea) before adding the cream.  The hot liquid will dissolve the sugar
better than it will if you wait until after you've added the cream.







duh

If you wake up partially, so that your eyes work but your body is paralysed, will your arm to be
raised and your fingers spread out.  Now will your arm to move back and forth.  If there is a weak,
diffuse light source behind your 'arm', you can see a faint outline of your hand, like a cutout from
clear plastic sheeting.

i dun get it





gapstinks

no smoke!



what ever happened to Jesus? He died, then came back, then what?

indeed.

On the westside of downtown Portland, Oregon, you will hit all green lights if you drive at exactly
13 mph.

Barbecue tools are longer than your average kitchen utensil so that you can manipulate the food
you're cooking without having to put your hands over the cooking surface.  This saves your hands
from being flame-grilled.  Just try it with regular, short kitchen utensils and you'll see for
yourself pretty damned quick.



Wondering exactly how you got these people to pose for the smoking photo.  And where is that?



Money isn't worth as much as I used to think.

Even though it may say 'Non-Negotiable,' tellers are not that smart, and will take them anyway. I
have witnessed it. These tellers will also occasionally take the stub from a check, just as if it
were from the Pope himself.









-------------DON'T BUY THE HYPE!-------------
RE: PAGE 7 "I discovered recently that the sky is blue because it reflects the colour of the sea."
---------------LIES!!!------------------------
from: http://www.sciencemadesimple.com/sky_blue.html
WHY IS THE SKY BLUE?

The blue color of the sky is due to Rayleigh scattering. As light moves through the atmosphere,
most of the longer wavelengths pass straight through. Little of the red, orange and yellow light is
affected by the air.

However, much of the shorter wavelength light is absorbed by the gas molecules. The absorbed blue
light is then radiated in different directions. It gets scattered all around the sky. Whichever
direction you look, some of this scattered blue light reaches you. Since you see the blue light
from everywhere overhead, the sky looks blue.

Blue sky from scattered light

As you look closer to the horizon, the sky appears much paler in color. To reach you, the scattered
blue light must pass through more air. Some of it gets scattered away again in other directions.
Less blue light reaches your eyes. The color of the sky near the horizon appears paler or white.
------------------SCIENCE=TRUTH------------------



RE: "bush hid the facts"
ANY SENTENCE you put into notepad or notepad 2 with the character lengths of 4-3-3-5 will do the
same thing. Try "dogs eat cat poops" and  you will get the same result.

Who are those kids and why did you take pictures of them smoking? Couldn't you be arrested for that?
It's also just a little bit unethical, don't you think?





The easiest way to solve a pen-and-paper maze is to start at a dead-end, and fill it in until you
get to an intersection, creating a new wall at that intersection. Once you've filled in all the
dead-ends, what remains is the path to the exit.

This saved me recently in a hotel room bathroom.
You can unclog a toilet with an empty water bottle!
Just stick the top of the bottle near the clog and squeeze a few times. It blasts a jet of air and
water that should force everything through.
Gross but true!





news reports contain press releases... that's why "drive by media" is such a good description

germans




KC Masterpiece barbeque sauce - The KC stands for Kansas City, which is famous for it's bbq.  Just
never thought about it!  (29 years old) 

ALL baby bibs are reversible, despite what the label says.

When winding up a garden hose, you must twist as you coil or it'll never make nice, neat coils.



Just because a girl likes you does not mean you should date her.

George Carlin was right.

You can't finger your prick.

21 - It should really be called "binge and purge" drinking. I always over binged.   
30 - Life is really about what you do for others, not what you can get for yourself.
My family is beautiful.
Work - The most detailed plan always results in the most chaotic disaster. 
Fun - I can never seem to get enough of it. 

- Adam

i demand to know - what's the deal with American Express?





Sugar Beets require Nitrogen to grow and produce sugar however, to much nitrogen and you won't get
any. 

I found out that if you step on a piece of glass, you should stop right there and not take another
step before you get it out.

Growing up, I thought the Air and Space Museum was named after my brother, (the Aaron Space Museum).

So far I have burned through 38 hours of "work time" reading these little discoveries.



Don't eat too many plums in one sitting



1. "Ha ha" is spelled "ja ja" is Spanish, because "j" makes the same sound as "h" does in English.

2. Movie theaters make very little money off of ticket sales - most of it goes to the studios.
That's why the food and drinks are so expensive. On a similar note, movie rentals don't make as
much money as you might think, because the rental place pays the studios either a flat fee per
copy, or a percentage of the rental price.

3. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. Regardless and irregardless would also be
synonyms, but the latter is not a real word.

The homeless don't have homeless roommates.

all units of measurement (inches, degrees celsius, kilograms, etc) are almost entirely random
divisions made up so that we can quantify the world

Ha, I just realized one of the ones I listed was on Rob's original list. D'oh! At least I added a
bit about rental places too. Eh? Ehh?

If you sit on a damp chair, never jump up and yell, "I hate a wet back!"  You could get a lot of
weird looks from people.









Froot Loops is misspelled.  I was one of those kids who ALWAYS won the spelling bee, and I'm an
English geek as an adult, yet it took me until my early twenties to realize that the repeated OO is
a marketing trick.  Froot Loops.  I'm so ashamed!

Cars aren't really grounded, and neither will you be if you wear rubber soled shoes. Rather, it's
the fact that you're not grounded that saves your life - the elctricity has no place to, thus it
does not go through you.

I have a couple things that I wanted to correct:

1. Psychiatric medications - They do not work on the condition. They make you feel different, much
like how having a beer or taking a puff off a joint makes you feel different. They do not
specifically "cure" something like an antibiotic kills a bacterial infection. If they work, it is
simply because you're on a psychoactive medication and feel different. 

-> That's not true... At least for antidepressants, they adjust the serotonin levels in your brain
because depression is caused by an imbalance of serotonion. I could get all technical but then I'd
have to dig up some sort of official source and I don't want to.

2. Someone said the sky is blue because it reflects the sea. This is also not true. The sky is blue
because the blue light particles are the most spaced out and thus stretch further from the sun,
whereas the reds/greens stay closer to the sun/light source. So basically, the blue is all that's
left, and so that's what we see. 

computers are run on electricity, not hamsters as the kids next door lead you to believe...


The word "manger", comes from the Latin word "to eat"

Yeah, but it costs money to pay cash into the bank.

When typing out change of address forms for a dozen magazines, you don't have to go searching for
the 3-point-font address on page 18 past all the ads.  Just look for the address on the back of the
dozens of mail-in cards.





Amex charges 3%.

true dat

If you put Jello in the Microwave, it will liquify.

i never realized that the food quiche and the word "quiche" were the same thing... my mom made
excellent quiche, and though i never really thought much about how it was spelled, i always figured
it was spelled something like "keesh"... or even "kishe".  i had seen the word "quiche" on menus,
but in my mind i always pronounced it "kweeky", and never ordered it.  it wasn't until i was about
16 or so when i saw a quiche in a glass case with a placard that said "quiche" next to it. 
suddenly everything made sense.

If you lose your contact at night and find it again the next morning all dried out and crackly and
unrecognizable, you don't have to throw it away. Just put it in some contact solution and come back
later - it'll be good as new!





Brown sugar is just white sugar with molasses. If you like brown sugar, you like molasses.

 
 
If you get to a new job, and take on a project to fix a system that's been half broken for years,
and half a dozen people have already attempted to fix, you'll get a lot of pats on the back... 
Actually fix it, and you'll get fired.

 




I live in the northern hemisphere. Because the sun is always south of me at noon, I assumed it was
south of me the rest of the time, but I recently realized (30 years old!) that it sets in the north
(west by north west in July at 37 degrees north) during the summer! 

Many stores won't let you use your Visa/MasterCard unless you're spending less than $10.00. They
aren't actually allowed to impose minimum purchase requirements per their Visa/MasterCard merchant
agreements, but what can you do? Visa and MasterCard advise you to contact your card-issuing bank,
but that doesn't help much when you just want a sandwich and the guy behind the counter at the
local Blimpie won't take your plastic.

(I said "unless" in my previous comment, but I meant "if." Sorry.)

I also meant to include these URLs, but forgot:

http://www.corporate.visa.com/ut/faq.jsp#4

http://www.mastercard.com/us/business/en/common/faq.html#211





Magazines put most of their ads right at the front of the issue so that you will have to flip
through them while searching for the table of contents. They also seem to have stopped putting page
numbers next to the cover stories, so that you cannot flip straight to the article that caught your
eye.

You don't need to pay an annual credit card fee. Call your card company and say you are closing your
account because of the fee. Chances are they will drop the fee. If not, it's time to find a better
credit card company.

The only annual fee you might not escape is one accessed for not using your card _at_all_ for the
entire year.

-AJ/Thingamababy





not today



No little discovery for now, but do I see a clean The Shining reference up there?
~Ariamaki



In a hot tub, drinking one alcholic beverages is the equilalent of drinking 2.



Along with the thin slicing of beef idea, freeze or defrost chicken to a semi-frozen state then just
rip the skin off... no slipping! no greasy hands!  If the chicken is already defrosted or you have
to cook it NOW, grab the skin with a folded paper towel and rip.



The basin of a drinking fountain is filled with other people's saliva.

Digestive insights 1 - sitting on the toilet and pushing to eliminate waste isn't helping you in
many ways.  Our intestines work much the same way as a snake's digestion does in that the
intestine's push and release (like parallel wavelengths) to move material along.  Once you've
released the end portion of your waste, it's best to just relax, read a magazine, let the muscles
do their job (ha!) until more waste is there to be rid of.  With all the pushing people do, is it
any wonder there are so many people with rectal problems?  Relax, take 10-15 minutes quiet time.

Digestive insights 2 - If you eat three square meals a day, you should have at least two bowel
movements a day.  If you two square meals a day, it's one bowel movement.  Anything less and you're
constipated.  Even if you take just a quarter cup a day of the new yoghurts they have available now,
you'll notice a fantastic regularity and as a side effect, feel better all round.  Adding some
granola, or just some blueberries or flax seed is even better! 

It's amazing how our physical and mental well-being is dependent upon our digestive system.  Happy
digesting!

when walking from one place to another in a grid-type street plan, it's best to try to move
diagonally. for example if you need to go northeast, don't go all the way north and then try to go
east. if you hit a "don't walk" sign, you have to wait out the light, but if you still had more
distance to go to the north, you could cross that street, then cross going east. crappy
explanation, but good time saver.

Mason!







What about bi-lines?  What are those?  

The op-ed page is not the page with the editor's opinions. It is the page opposite the editorial
page!



Concrete, cement and pavement are the same thing.







I just learned that Sadaharu Oh is like the Babe Ruth of Japanese Baseball.




There was a very cool (original) Twilight Zone episode that mentioned by-line a lot. Very good, it
was. That was probably when I learned about it.

Glass is technically a liquid.  The molecular structure of glass is akin to that of a liquid, all
jumbled up, unlike solids, which tend to have a crystalline/ordered structure.

Remember, if your keyboard is old and your Windows is new, Ctrl + Esc will bring up the Start menu.

Re. smells and sounds: there's also the story of the couple who lived next to Niagara Falls and
later moved away, after which they were hardly able to sleep for weeks on account of the deafening
silence. I experience this on a smaller scale when I travel between my apartment in the Tenderloin
in SF and my parents' house in the suburbs of Minneapolis.

I once read on the net "If you no longer see pictures on the wall rearrange them." I told my
supervisor at work this once. He didn't belive me so I swapped out a poster in his office. The next
person that walked into his office was one of the building maitnence guys. He first words were, "How
often do you change those posters?"

Being jealous of people who have more than you feels bad, but having people who have less than you
feel jealous of you doesn't feel *good*. Take the notion that massive amounts of money or prestige
are key to your happiness and shove it as far from you as you can, and then find out what really
makes you happy. For me, this was going into a profession that was interesting and that paid the
bills, and focusing most of my energies on spending time with people I like.

I'm gonna be a great husband for some woman someday, or so I hope. :-)



The crust on bread doesn't actually have any higher of a nutritional value than the soft part.
That's just what parents say to make their kids eat it.  I am not scared to admit that I am
24-years-old and just realized this a few months ago. I have better things to think about, damn it!
Don't you judge me!!

Bosses don't always know that you want a promotion.  Sometimes you have to ask.

Paint chips (the little cardboard samples of paint colors) can make excellent and free bookmarks.

Pressing the call button for the elevator numerous times does NOT speed up the elevator. 

Also, that little button in the elevator that supposedly closes the elevator door is not hooked up
to anything and does not work. At least, that's the way it seems...

The "best before" date on perishable foods is a guesstimate only. The food doesn't automatically
expire on that date and is often good long past the best before date. Rarely does food expire
before that date, but it does happen sometimes.



You should make an RSS feed of your discoveries.

Lions don't actually have dens.

when are you going to put more user ones, dang it?

by user i mean readers, oops



Got rough hands? Rub some white vinegar into them like a lotion before washing them with your soap
of choice (just not Dial. Dial dries skin, which makes it a great treatment for poison oak or
poison ivy).











Save on dish soap and zip through washing dishes by adding 6 oz of dish washing detergent to 24oz
hot water ina 32oz spray bottle. Just hit the dish with a couple of sprays, swish with a hot, wet
washcloth and rinse. We did this in a restaurant I used to work at while in college. I still do
this at home.

A radish tastes just as well as baking powder.



To get rid of telemarketers forever, get a listing with a fake name (middle name, "roommate's" name,
the phone company may not care as long as they have your name and billing address.  Do this anytime
someone phones and asks for someone with the fake name.  Or beware when you hear "May I speak to
Mr. or Mrs. *lastname*?". Simply reply, "Can you put me on your do-not-call list?".  These are
magic words.  Telemarketers will know you are serious and the only other thing you need to say is
thank you and goodbye.  They'll only call once.

You don't need as much detergent as you think.





wow thats totally true! after moving into a neighborhood close to an airport we would hear them go
over every few minutes, including all throughout the night. but after awhile we had to think hard
about if we heard them or not, even when they were as deafening during the night as during the day!


In any business, 80% of your sales come from
20% of your customers! This is called the 80/20
rule.





you can wash dishes with shampoo in a pinch. even works in the washer!

if you act like you know what you are doing, there is a good chance you will come away with that
image.

you missed one

This was a particullary nice one. Thanks Rob!

Pantone - schmantone. Trends are also published ahead of time too. Pantone is big business.

Now, I also found out that the 'flower' on my cactus, when I bought it, was fake and glued on. It
fell off a few months later.





Peanuts are salty so tat you buy more drinks at the bar.

If you're on the road and there's a car with its dents or damage pointing right at you, you should
move away. For example, if you're right behind a car and notice that it has been in an accident
where the back of the car is messed up, it probably means that the driver is more prone to
accidents from the rear end. Therefore, you shouldn't follow too closely. If a car has dents on the
side, you shouldn't drive beside them because they probably suck at their shoulder checks.



This is also similar to why baseball players wave their bat's around.  It is to allow them to know
where there bat and where the momentum of the bat is going.  This is to avoid a stablized
stimulant.  If they held the bat strait up and w/o waving, they would be less accurate in terms of
hitting the ball.  
In the visual sense, if you used a machine to calculate the movements of your eyes, and if an image
was projected into your eyes, but moved the same degrees.  you would see nothing. -norman











why do water towers exist?  why not just use the pumps that fill the towers to pump the water to the
houses?  Because that way the tower can supply water pressure when the power goes out.  More
importantly, pumps which could not keep up at high water use times (everyone flushing after morning
pee) could be used to slowly fill the tank at night, during low water use times and then the full
tank can handle the high-use times!

my name is actually christopher instead of wat i formaly knew as chris

-Chris

your previous and next links at the bottoms of the pages are very confusing, as the meaning of
previous and next changes every few pages.  it does make the experience more interesting, but kind
of hard to see all of them.

It is obvious now, but when I was about 10 or so I was really disappointed to figure out that just
because Harrison Ford is in a movie, it is not necessarily going to be like "Star Wars" or "Indiana
Jones". 

And don't even get me started on Mark Hamil.









A ducks' quack does not echo. Nobody knows why.

Wearing silk makes a man look like a gentleman.

no



That's ridiculous!  I mean, I knew fashion was all fake, all decided by people with big money who
get a kick out of controlling the small-minded drones who love to be controlled, but geesh, it's
ridiculous!

The root of 'spectacular' is 'spectacle'

The raisins in a new box of Raisin Bran have all settled to the bottom of the box during shipping.
The best way to get raisins in the first bowl is to pour somewhat normally except to dam the edge
of the box-spout with three or four fingers; the cereal will form a little mountain inside the box,
and the cereal that pours over the dam will be from the bottom of the box.



I'd like to smack the people that came up with the "filthy denim" trend. ~ Evil Jim



12 point text is .12" tall,  10 point is .10" tall, 24 point is nearly a quarter inch at .24" tall. 
8 point is .08" tall and so on and so forth.  I was pretty surprised when I figure this out. 

I used to think that vinyl was higher fidelity than CD's or other digital media, but it's not. Sure,
it's analog, but that honestly doesn't mean a hell of a lot. By the time you factor in all of the
noise associated with vinyl reproduction, you've lost all of the gains made by an analog signal
-vs- a digital one. The same is true of tape. Even expensive-ass 2" tape, when you're comparing it
to digital recordings made at 24/96 or higher. 

I still prefer the sound of analog, though, just like I like how crappy polaroids look better than
my digital camera. 



It's been two days since you've posted anything!  Where did you go?  A trip to the mall shouldn't
mean that you'd ignore your readers!





Old newspaper is better for cleaning windows and crystal than paper towels since they don't leave
streaks and the towels do because they are impregnated with a lotion to make them easier on your
hands. Talk about recycling!

Most digital cameras and webcams are sensitive to infra-red light. Point your tv remote at your
webcam to make sure it is still working or the batteries are not dead. You can CAREFULLY remove the
tissue-paper thin IR filter it does have with a razorblade, replace it with a small square of
unexposed 35mm film and add an IR diode to a mini-maglite. Voila! An inexpensive, very effective
night-vision camera!

Rubberbands don't decay from oxydation. unvulcanized rubber breaks down in the presense of ozone.
Now about that ozone hole.....

What constitutes news is just one man's opinion

The way I remember "port" and "starboard" is alphabetically: left comes before right just as port
comes before starboard in the alphabet.  The same thing works for Scandinavian capitals: [Finland,
Norway, Sweden] and [Helsinki, Oslo, Stockholm].  You could throw Denmark in there too, if you have
trouble with that one.

Maybe I missed the point, but "My mind was blown when I learned that a wet sponge will hold much
more water than a dry sponge" doesn't make any sense.

A dry sponge will obviously become wet when you add water to it. They are saying that amount of
water needed to get a sponge wet PLUS holding capacity is LESS than holding capacity? 

Love the site BTW. Josh.









When waxing a car the instructions say not to do it in direct sunlight.  I always thought this was
to preventsthe wax from drying too much which I thought was good.  In fact the wax will not dry at
all in direct sunlight on a hot day.  The heat from the sun prevents the wax from drying properly. 
When done in the shade the wax will dry like it is designed too.
- Stu Padaso



If you accidentally leave an unopened can of soda in a hot car, it might burst in a sticky mess.



Why have you stopped doing a daily things I figured out???  Is it that these are all the things
you've ever figured out???

When you burn/smash/cut your finger or hand somehow, your first instinct is to shake your hand and
arm, downwards and hard. This only makes whatever you have do to it hurt more, because it slings
more blood into the affected area. So when you hurt yourself, keep your hand still. It makes it
hurt less and for a shorter amount of time.

When they board airplanes starting from the rear, you can go on before your row is called. The
attendants asre too busy to worry about it and probably don't even look at your ticket.

Also, clothing manufacturers tend to "size up" their clothing. Meaning, if you fit into a pair of
pants with a 32-inch waste, your actual waste size is probably an inch or so larger. They do this
to make their costumers feel like they've lost weight, and, feeling proud of themselves with their
new-found accomplishment, reward themselves by buying more clothes.



Stores make more on some televisions than on others. Televisions that have a low profit margin are
turned off or have their brightness or color settings messed up so as to make them appear less
attractive and make it easier for the salesmen to sell more profitable models.

The US government has a plan for a war with every country in the world. They don't necessarily
intend to go to war with Ghana, but somewhere in the Pentagon there is a step by step plan on how
to do so. Foreigners shouldn't take this personally. 



There are two different tunes to "Away in a Manger."

Yah, I noticed this when I was in the Air Force and got service calls to the sewer plant. It smelled
really bad to start with, but after a couple hours you barely noticed it.

I learned that if you flick a big spider into the water from your boat, the spider actually swims
back to the boat...until it met the demise of a hungry fish. Either way, still creepy to see a big
spider actually start swimming back towards the boat.

the magic of this has died

is this nologer being updated? Things I Figured Out - The Series last shorter then i thought.

When you are in the military you pay a portion of you own salary.  

When I was a Marine my average yearly federal taxes was about 2 month pay.  So in a wierd way i was
paying my own salary. 



A pickle's a cucumber.  It is!

Nothing cleans a chalkboard like coca-cola. Dip the end of a rag into a glass of coke, wipe the
chalk off - it leaves no streaks, no marks.

When you're in a basement, you're NOT underground. You're just in a big hole.

When something wasn't very expensive, my mom always said, "Well, I guess it wont break the bank."
And I never understood what she was talking about until I saw an old fashioned ceramic piggy bank.
And I got it. The classic breaking the piggy bank with the hammer...thanks mom.



Have you stopped figuring things out for yourself? :-)

I learned that the war in Iraq has nothing to do with oil, and everything to do with radical
extremist.



The best way to get a perfect eggo to syrup ratio is to overfill the top eggo, then pick it up and
tip the excess onto the eggo below.  

I like Paul Simon. I like Simon and Garfunkle. I would listen to either group's CDs in a row.
However, I did not figure out why both Simon and Garfunkle and Paul Simon had such a similar
lyrical style until my mother mentioned that after the group broke up, Garfunkle slipped into
obscurity but that Paul Simon was such a success.

Ice is slippery. Tennis shoes do not grip ice well. Falling over in an iced-over parking lot can be
painful.

Kittens are cute, adorable and loveable, unless mommy kitty is missing. Attempting to care for a
two day old kitten is like taking care of a baby, sans dipers. Lots of two AM feedings, unnessesary
visits to the doctor(vet), and once they learn to walk, you won't have an empty lap for the next
eighteen years.

The starch you use to iron clothes with and the starch potatoes are made out of are not the same
thing.

"Submission Guidelines" is the excuse editors use to get out of having to read your work.

Movie advertisements edit the critic blurbs to make their movies look good. If egbert and Roper's
quote is "fantastic" instead of "two thumbs up", you may want to reconsider going to see the movie.

Until recently, I didn't know that "Parisian" meant Paris-like.



tis actually pronounced anorsexya











This is a reply to an earlier post.  Bohemian has nothing to do with the Bahamas.  Bohemia was an
actual place in Europe.  My family came to the U.S. from there.







lemon










I figured out quite recently, that The Wiggles don't actually drive their Big Red Car on the
Australian freeways. They are towed on a trailer behind a truck. 

In a different vein, I've also figured out that Winston cigarretes and Salem cigarretes are called
so because they are made in Winston-Salem NC. 

The war in Iraq is not about oil.

When ironing dress pants, I found it's easy to make a vague outline of the pockets when doing the
upper portion.  If you fold the pocket fabric out of the way, your pants will look better.









Contestants on the Price is Right are'nt selected randomly. They have interviews beforehand with
producers who pick a variety of people they want on the show to get an assortment of different,
enthusiastic contestants and so they don't get anybody uninterested or boring.

If someone asks you if you could do them a favor, always say no. Generally, the person will persist
and tell you what the favor being asked is. Then, you can easily change your mind and say yes, or
just continue with the no.

A. Hemminton

Nothing ever deaccelerates, acceleration is a change in velocity therefore slowing down is
acceleration, granted in a negative sense. Deceleration is still proper when not in a physics
realm.

A related note is that breathing is completely unconscious until you remember that you need to,
after which point it hits some state between conscious and unconscious.

Kind of like how the guy on TV who lies about the weather isn't a meteorologist, he's a "weather
guy" who relays the National Weather Service's report. I don't know why TV stations have weather
guys, anyway. All they do is block half the screen and read the parts you can see that you didn't
need to hear anyway. I imagine it's no easy task to do real-time green screening on them, and the
guys operating the weather computers are already mad at the weather guy for blocking all the
rendered 3D eye candy they spent the last week on. Some day the weather computer guys will stage a
coup. If the major networks are still using weather guys in 2009, the computer guys will replace
all the press release footage with embarrassing video of the anchorwomen until the weather guys are
sacrificed.

we should have already been visited from the future, when a time maching is invented, they will
travel back to us, but for some reason, the space time continum has not been broken because noone
has ever been to the time travel convention http://web.mit.edu/adorai/timetraveler/







It burns when you pee if you engage in coitus with women of the night.








Today, 8-21-2006, I figured out that Rob Cockerham has it all figured out.   




When mixing dry materials (such as mortar mix) with water, always put in less water than you think
you'll need, then add it gradually.  Hold some dry materials in reserve, so you can thicken a soupy
mix if necessary.  You can always add a touch more water, but can't do much to get it out.

It would be fun if they were in categories such as: "Best of", "Cooking", "Word Origins", "Logos",
etc.

Silk (as in soy milk) is actually a contraction of Soy mILK.

WD-40 was the 40th formulation of the Rocket Chemical Corporation's "W"ater "D"isplacement
rust-prevention solvent.



Airports are called airports because that is where you "dock" your "ship", at the port. since the
"ship" is an aircraft vessel, it is the 'Air'port

(i realized this filling out a u.s. customs card a few years ago)

People you've never met can't be trusted to keep posting. 







whoa.

Wolves like mints. I discovered this one day at a local park.



The reason why people trying to speak a second language have accents, use the wrong words or put
them in a wrong order isn't because they're stupid, it's because *they're instinctively trying to
follow the rules of their own language*. For example, in English you might say "Turn on the power".
The Spanish way of saying this uses the word "meter" meaning "put"; therefore, someone whose first
language was Spanish might try to say it in English as "Put it the power".


On a modern car, it isn’t necessarily the engine that wears out.  Its all the labor intensive
(i.e. expensive to fix) things connected to the engine like gaskets, seals, computer modules, etc. 
When you don’t want to take the chance paying big $$$ to repair a 15 year old car, it ends up at
the junkyard, but the engine itself could probably go another 100,000 miles without any problems.





I have figured out I am awesome.





Medical science is still very much in its infancy.  Doctors are often just guessing, with very
limited information, about your health problems.  Doctors are often wrong about the best ways to
treat medical problems.

There are only three diminished chords.  F sharp diminished and C diminished and A diminished and D
sharp diminished all have exactly the same notes in them.  Diminished chords can be called by any
of the notes contained in them, though I tend to name them by the lowest-pitched note for
convenience.  I figured this out all by myself.  It really confused me for a while.

Non-musicians are not generally impressed by musical virtuosity, or inventive improvisation or
composition.  Non-musicians are generally only impressed by the emotional impact of music.  They
don't care how inventive it is, or how well it's played.

Two principles of physics explain how a bike works. First, angular momentum, the same force at work
in a gyroscope, makes wheels want to keep turning in the same direction and position as they have
been. So as your bike wheels spin underneath you, they're actually helping you stay upright as
their angular momentum resists changes in the bike's upright position. Second, because of the way
bicycles are constructed, inertia swings the upper part of a bicycle away from the center of a
turn, even as the front wheel dips into the turn, keeping the bike in an upright position.



The reality is that bicycles stay upright when they are steered to keep the wheels under the center
of gravity. This is the same mechanism that keeps runners, skaters, skiers, and snowboarders
upright. Lock the handlebars of a bicycle and it is unrideable. Cancel the gyroscopic effect of
bicycle wheels by adding counter-rotating wheels, and it is still easily ridable.



The factor that has a lot more to do with how easy or hard a bicycle will be to ride is called
‘trail’ the distance by which the front wheel ground contact point trails behind where a line
through the steering axis intersects the ground. The more trail a bike has, the more stable it
feels. Bikes with negative trail, while still ridable, feel very unstable.

A curious fact is that most standard bikes are stable even without a rider at various forward
speeds. Here is a video demonstration. I have not yet read a comprehensive analysis of inherent
bicycle stability due to a combination of mechanical trail and gyroscopic effects on a freely
turning front fork and how it interacts with a rider's control system.



http://ruina.tam.cornell.edu/research/topics/bicycle_mechanics/wheel_bicycle_stability.mpg

Today I found out that the Union Jack, the national flag of the United Kingdom of Breat Britain and
Northern Ireland, is a combination of 3 flags. By 1606, the flags of England and Scotland were
combined into one, and then by 1801 Ireland's flag was incorporated. Gotta love Wikipedia.

Under way is always two words unless you are referring to a floatilla. 

TDY stands for Temporary Duty Yonder





If you wear an undershirt under a dress shirt, tuck the undershirt into your shorts.  This will keep
the shirtails of the dress shirt from coming out.



So you figured out that it is difficult to figure something out every day?

In the morining, if you brush your teeth after eating breakfast, you'll have minty fresh breath and
clean teeth for longer than if you did it the other way around. Plus you don't get that funky
flavor when the toothpaste taste combines with whatever you're eating.

I learned that pepper actually comes from trees one day when I saw a pepper tree at work. I used to
think it was mined like salt.



I've figured out that you've stopped updating this page every day.. . took me a while.

Rather than just singing "Mr Sheen da-dum-deen deen-deen" - the advert actually goes "Mr Sheen
shines umpteen things clean"





Renting is flushing money down the toilet.  With all I've spent on apartments, I could be halfway to
owning a house by now.







lkjh;kl



I've discovered that I feel that Rob has abandoned this part of the website.

I've never understood what submarine races were until a week ago.  I couldn't understand how you
could watch them, and to my embarassment I thought it meant the guy wanted to show you his
submarine.  Well, I was close anyway! <blush!!!>







I have figured out that you should avoid using words like "NEVER" and "ALWAYS" unless they are
preceded with words like "should" or "might". This is especially true at work because managers key
in on these words and they tend to call you on it months or years later when something doesn't
ALWAYS or NEVER happen as expected.

the "Silverback Gorilla" is not a species. It's juts a gorilla that's gotten old, and has started to
go grey on top.

Although it may be true in the US that a pedestrian can cross the street almost anytime and cars
will avoid them because they don't want to hit someone this is NOT true in many foreign countries.
Even with the pedestrian crossing light on green you can still get hit. 

You can crack an egg on the point of your flexed elbow. 

i only know two things for certain:
the word 'assassin' is of arabic origin, and comes from the phrase 'opium eater.'
when a woman is telling you her problems, she wants sympathy, not advice.

i only know two things for certain:
the word 'assassin' is of arabic origin, and comes from the phrase 'opium eater.'
when a woman is telling you her problems, she wants sympathy, not advice.

only bad writers talk about their own work





What do you get when wine doesn't ferment properly? Vinegar, right?  The French word for vinegar is
vinaigre. Vin=wine. Aigre=sour. Sour wine! Genius!

I never drink milk, orange juice or eat very sugary desserts while I have a cold.  It causes more
mucous and more painful nose-blowing.  Drinking ridiculous amounts of water helps thin it all out
so I feel a lot less miserable.  I think the milk creates more mucous because both substances are
made of protein.  I'm not sure about orange juice.  









Rob has figured out that he no longer wishes to add to this part of the site.

Over-indulging your pets with treats is not a good way of showing your pets that you love them.  It
just makes them overweight which causes them to have a shorter, uncomfortable life.  What they
really want is attention, play, walks, etc.



The reason why digital records replaced the original analog records because converting the data to
numbers makes sure that there is no variation in the saved data. 

A guy here said records are superior to digital media because digital media can't "can't truly
produce all the sounds that where fed into it."
This is scientifically untrue as records suffer from wear and tear by the mere act of playing, and
therefore actually LOSES quality over time and playing hours.

Digital media are unaffected by the laser used to "read" the data that was recorded into them.
Every time you play them, you get the exact same data, and only the speakers or video output device
is different.



A 1.7% cleverly named 'Discount Rate' is actually on the low side -- that would be a merchant with
some power to be able to negotiate a rate that low.  Visa and MC rates are usually in the 2%-3%
range.  AmEx rates are usually in the 4%-5% range, which explains why there are so few merchants
that are willing to take AmEx (compared to Visa and MC).  The Discount Rate also explains why
government agencies usually don't accept credit cards for payment without adding a healthy service
charge (e.g., DMV fees or paying taxes), because otherwise the agency would only be receiving
95%-98% of the money that you owe.

I was an adult before I realized that in the song "Puff the Magic Dragon" the lyrics refer to
"sealing wax" not "ceiling wax".





Buy a Pothos plant and use it as your watering reminder for other plants. When the Pothos plant
needs water it gets droopy, but doesn't get hurt. Other plants may look fine when dry and then just
die. It also doesnt need much light. -DMC
 

People in commercials don't dress for a particular season so the commercial can be played all year.
-DMC
 

Water is the only thing that expands when it freezes.  But because it does, it has less density than
the water around it.  This allows ice to float.  If ice did not float, there would be no life in
lakes, because then the entire lake would freeze through instead of protecting the denser, warmer
water (and fish) underneath.  I have heard it said that if ice sank, there would be no life on
earth.  What a glorious creation!

Do not wash cuts in lakewater, you will get an infection. Also take off rings asap after you hurt
your finger otherwise they may have to cut them off. -DMC

LEFT four letters. FORK four letters. SPOON and KNIFE five letters. RIGHT five letters.

Holding down all of the buttons on a 'Casio' wrist watch resets them. causing the wearer to lose all
the times, alarms, stored information.

And its really mean.
Bob Done (London)

Mexicans love to drink American beer. Americans love to drink Mexican beer.

When hanging an American flag, the field of stars ALWAYS situated to the upper left.  THis applies
even when hanging your flag vertically. 

As an artist, I've figured that there's an order to drawing characters:
1st - Characters
2nd - Text
3rd - Bubbles (for text, thanks Rob.)
4th - Immediate Background
5th - Extended Background and fine details.

That's my order.
L.P.

If you have a cat that is litter box trained, there is a 100% chance that the cat has made a mistake
at least once and the pile is still somewhere in your house... waiting.

The secret to winning an E-Bay Auction is this.

Bid 40% the current price in the last 3 seconds, That way no body has a chance of outbiding you and
even if they try they will only get maybe one attempt at a price increase before the 3 seconds are
up and you are the winner of the auction, and pay waaaaaaay less than normal.

The 3 seconds before it can be a bit tricky so open up two internet browsers and shrink them down
so they are side by side on your screen, on one screen have the 'your bid' screen up with the final
stage of submittance ready to roll and on the other screen have the main listing page for the item
your bidding on and hit refresh repeatedly, as soon as you see 4 seconds hit submit on the other
screen.

Tis a real Corker

Bob Done 









Hey Rob, I've got a handful:
Everything thats not hydrogen was made in a star.
Knees arent supposed to bend sideways.
Swimming in salt water is good for your skin.
And when you see someone write  that they finally get the black white and read all over joke, it
hurts when you slap your forehead realizing that you never got it yourself, hehe.


"Blind Drive" signs are not there so that blind people can drive, they mean that you cant see whats
ahead in the road.



You recognize an Englishman immediately when he wants to get in and drive away in his rent-a-car at
the wrong side of the steering wheel. - jm



As it is easier to remember other people’s failures rather tha your own, not to mention more
comfortable, here are two from my mother.

 

She is a totally smart cooky by the way, but we all have our blind spots.

 

She, until her sixtieth birthday thought that the word segue was pronounced SEA-GYOO.

 

If no one has said it in front of you, how would you know?

 

The other one is that as a child in Dublin she couldn’t work out why someone could be sent to
prison for making fellas chuckle.

 

Man’s laughter…..mans-laughter……manslaughter

 

Yeah, it’s a good one.

 

Love the site, keep up the good work

 

 

Pol


Dates on buildings are sometimes prefixed by EST (for example: EST 1901). I thought that this stood
for 'Estimated' and that they didn't actually know the date the the buidling was finished. But I
just worked out it stands for 'Established'. Duh! 









it took me until i was 20 to notice that my grandparent's wedding anniversary was only 5 months
before my dad's birthday!!



Third way to avoid the experience is not to drink in the first place.  ;-)

The free tours are cheaper and usually good enough.

I discovered What "KT", "KV", "KM" & "KG" part numbers where I work stand for, and that It really
sucks to work with any KTs or KVs. doesn't make sense I know, but I needed to get that out of my
chest.

Babies who have just breast fed should not be thrown in the air until about a half hour after
eating
Graham



Jesus really IS the only way to eternal life.

Ore-Ida potatos? Because they come from Oregon and Idaho. I had to move away from Oregon to figure
that out.

News reports about a police officer injured in a car accident won't mention whether the officer was
wearing his safety belt. In California, officers are not required to wear seat belts because they
need quick access into and out of their patrol cars. Personally, I think they're crazy. A one or
two second jump on a crook isn't worth risking your life.

it's "lactose intolerant" not "like toast and tolerant"

Dear Rob,

I read this on your reader submissions... 
>If your toilet water is rising fast and you realize it is going to overflow. Quickly reach for the
knob feeding the toilet water and turn it clock wise to stop the flow. It is usually wet due to
condensation. But getting your fingertips wet is better than cleaning up an overflowed mess.>>

Another quick solution to this problem is.. to quickly turn on the cold taps in the shower and/or
the sink. Of course, your hosts may wonder why you've suddenly been taken by the urge to bathe in
the middle of their dinner party...







Things I figured out. The famous line is not "The proof is in the pudding." It's "The proof is in
the putting." I actually had to explain this to my brother after watching "Dude, Where's My Car"
and laughing when no joke was said.



Patrick Swayze and Kurt Russell are actually different people.



i learned that you dont have to be smart to know you're gettin screwed over.

i discovered that fried rice looks frighteningly similar to maggots, especially if you get it at a
low end chinese restaurant







I've figured out that this part of the site is now dead. 



beliveing that getting insurance of any kind will bring problems more than prevent them shows a lack
of understanding what insurance is and what it is meant to do, which is to help you financially when
any incident happens. 

Pledges for daily updates on Cockeyed.com, however great, only tend to last about two weeks... :-)

On most highways, you'll see a little sign with an odd symbol or symbols (eg., ">-<") with a number
(normally 1000) directly below it on a plain rectangular sign on the center divider.  This is for
the police to know when there's a crossover (in a 1000 feet).

Tetris is named so because Tetra means 4, each shape in Tetris is composed of 4 blocks



This site is even more dead than Steve Irwin.

If you ever have to figgur out what someone is thinking put yourself in there position and think how
you would feel its almost always how they would.  Good way to gain insite into someone else's head. 










If you have something in your teeth, and have no floss (like you're out at a restaurant), take one
of those folded paper towels, fold it again, and use the corner. If you do it gently enough it
works like a charm.



Asian girls' privates really are just like normal girls' privates. That whole horizontal thing is
just crap.

There is nothing funny about hitting your funny-bone. It just hurts like a mother-f***er!

Whenever you buy lumber at a big name hardware store, always grab a tape measure from the small
tools section and measure it before you buy it or have it cut.  You'd be surprised how often they
sell wood that is about half an inch shorter than it is supposed to be.  Also, lay the boards on
the ground and make sure they aren't warped.  Nothing sucks more during a project than getting home
with a carload of wood than to find that a bunch of it can't be used and you have to go right back
to the store that just screwed you over and buy more.

When cooking, cook longer at lower temperatures.  Especially with meat.  Just about everything
tastes better this way.  Exceptions are when a food requires a searing hot skillet or something to
start with.


Girls like a guy with clean teeth that smell good.  Always keep a toothbrush and deodorant in your
car for those days where you might not stop by home for a while.  Come to think of it, it might be
a good idea to keep a change of clothes in your trunk if you've got room to spare.  I can think of
less situations that I've needed a first aid kit than a change of clothes, but I still keep one in
my trunk. 

When packing for a trip, always lay everything out first rather than stuffing things directly into
your suitcase.  You'll wonder why in the hell you needed half the stuff and save yourself the
trouble of hauling around a few extra pounds.

Everyone is on a diet.  "Diet" is basically a term for eating habits.   On the same subject,
dieting takes a long time.  You didn't put the weight on in a month, don't expect to lose it in a
month.  The best diet is to merely count calories.  You can eat whatever you want, but you just
have to realize you can't have a whole pizza... your caloric intake only allows for a slice or two.
 Willpower is the key.  





When I was working at Home Depot, a guy came in for a part and let me know he was fixing a steamer
at the Burger King across the street.  He also relayed that most fast-food places steamed the
burgers before frying and "flame-broiling."

If you kind of slack off in all your classes, you can probably still make an A average.

If you really slack off in one class, you will ruin your whole GPA. Moderation is everything. 



"If you cut open a lung, it isn't empty inside like a potato-chip sack, it is full of membranes,
like a sponge."
I hope you did not find this out by cutting some one open ^_^





Alaska is both the westernmost AND easternmost state in the union, because it crosses the 180th
meridian.

By asking McDonalds for your order of fries without salt... you will recieve a freshly made hot
batch... then you can just put the salt on after yourself! Splendid! -ANDY! 

I used to date a midget, I was just nuts over her.

-Barney P

That's a good one!

The way I always remembered was "Is there any port left?". Asking, of course, is there any more of
that fine drink which you call port?

Barry Tone

For all of those announcers and wanna-be's:  The word "golf" is a NOUN

For all of those would-be announcers and wanna-be players:  The word "golf" is a NOUN, and NOT a
verb.  You can't go "golfing" any more than you can go "volleyballing" or "basketballing".  Golf is
the name of a game, not something that can be done.

Want to get the right pair of shrink-to-fit Levi 501s?

Just try on the pre-shrunk 501s until you get the right size.
Then exchange THAT size for the same size of shrink-to-fit.





Veronica Mars is the best show ever.



From http://cockeyed.com/lessons/figured/figured07.shtml

The sky is NOT blue because of the sea color, its more so the reverse.  The sea is more blue
because of the sky's color.  The sky's color is because the chemical composition of the upper
atmosphere causing a certain scattering of light. The concept is Rayleigh Scattering.   The human
eye is also better at seeing blue than purple.












You can still manually unlock your car door even if the power locks go out while you're inside.  It
is not necessary to call your boyfriend and have him come let you out with his remote clicker.

On a ship or airplane, the left side sports a red light.

You can arrange the first letters of the months of the year to read: J. Jason. DJ FM/AM (June, July,
August...)



The advertisement on this page is for "Insomnia Medication." I guess your advertisers figure nobody
would be reading this if they weren't trying to get some sleep!



Taking a college course online is often as hard or harder than a conventional course due to the fact
that it is 100% up to you to motivate yourself, and it makes it incredibly easy to procrastinate. 
You should schedule "classes" for yourself at regular intervals in an unfamiliar palce.  For
instance, go to a coffeeshop on tuesday and thursday mornings from 9:30-10:50 AM to do your work.

 
The "white" in ice cubes are actually dissolved solids that become suspended when the ice freezes. 
I drink and freeze distilled water and the ice cubes I make are perfectly clear, save a few bubbles.
 The distilled water cubes also last a longer in drinks and are much harder.



one can cut cleanly through most plastic things using fishing line

food cooked longer over lower temperatures will always taste better

When eating cold cereal in the morning, it's best to eat several smaller bowls than one big bowl. 
First, it keeps the cereal from sitting in milk for too long, avoiding the soggy cereal problem. 
Second, you may decide that you're full long before you would have consumed a large bowl.



If your T-shirt is inside out when it comes out of the dryer, leave it that way and fold or roll it
up however you normally do, just as if it were right side out. When it comes time to wear the
shirt, put your head through the neck hole and right the shirt by pulling it down over your body
(instead of putting your head into the waist part of the shirt and wriggling into it while rooting
around with your head for the neck hole; it's actually easier to put on an inside-out T-shirt than
to put on a right-side-out T-shirt). Then you push your arms through the sleeves, which turns them
right side out. This will save you approximately 37 minutes a year of shirt-righting time, which
you can spend eating or reading the back of a shampoo bottle or maybe watching part of a TV
show!!!!!



Also it's easier to put a pillow case on a pillow if the pillow case is inside out. Reach into the
pillow case with both hands. Grab the bottom corners. With your pillow-cased hands, grab two
corners of your pillow. Give it a little shake to turn the pillow case inside out. Pull the case
the rest of the way over the pillow. This is much easier than trying to stuff the pillow into the
case and avoids that unsightly "twisted pillow" effect. Duvets ("comforter covers") work the same
way.



i didnt realize untill about age 16 that its "i stand corrected" not "i stand correct it" ("it"
being the thing that you are correcting)

Even the guy who was dead last in his graduating class will get the same degree.

so even they guy who only pulled off a D- became a doctor.

The band name "The Beatles" is a pun.  As in the beat of a drum.



Everyone is the same. Peel off our skin and we would all look alike, just our screams would sound
different.



ABC, Twinkle Twinkle, and Baa Baa Black Sheep are ALL THE SAME SONG. What, are there not enough
tunes to go around?





"Don't overmix dough" applies only to quickbreads (dough made with baking powder or baking soda).
For yeast breads, the more you mix, the better. Mixing or kneading lengthens the gluten proteins.
This is good for yeast but makes it tough for baking soda.

Single people want to be in a relationship. People in a relationship want to be single. But if a
single person gets in a relationship, they just want to be single again. And when a relationship
ends, people just want to get into another one. Has anyone else noticed this?
Think about it. -jl







Wow! I was under the impression that Americans had a reversed knife and fork arrangement (ie fork on
right), ever since my friend told me this when I was about five years old - twenty-one years ago!
I'm British, by the way, but I pay no attention to the conventions of cutlery placement. I just
always found it easier to keep the fork in my right hand.

Keep 'em comin'!

Matt
Boro
UK





god is a concept by which we measure our pain, yeah.

women resent it when men rush to offer a 'fix' to their problems
but HATE it when they dont.


Don't trust anything on this page. Do some real research. The most jarringly wrong example is the
Helium Balloons submission. All current operational nuclear reactors work by Nuclear Fission a.k.a.
splitting the atom, a chain reaction where Uranium 236 is split into smaller elements such as
Krypton and Barium.

The original writer, presuming they weren't joking, may be thinking of the Nuclear Fusion reaction
which converts heavy hydrogen isotopes such as Deuterium and Trintium (known as heavy water) into
Helium. No-one currently has a fusion reactor that produces more energy than it takes to start the
reaction. Both forms of heavy water can be found in normal water.

Recap: helium is NOT generally made in nuclear reactors. Bush would not give a crap about helium
balloons in Iran. So where does Helium normally come from? We mine it from fossil sources and now
we're starting to run out...

From splatman:
Flames are round, not flat. View a candle flame from above to see wut I mean.

A 2x8 board contains about 3% more wood than 2 2x4s, but costs less.

Swearwords get their potency fron opposition, from those that abhor them, otherwise thay woulda
quickly fell out of use a long time ago.

Screws hold better than nails. So I build everything almost exclusively with screws.

People pick the number 3 too much. It must be a genetically encoded "default" sorta thing.

The best way to cut a cathode ray tube is to use a purpose-built machine. So I built a few.

The word 'suppose' sucks, so I deleted it from my vocabulary. I say 'should' or 'going' instead.

God didn't give us rock-n-roll for nothin'!

Jet fuel did not fuel the fires that allegedly brought down the towers, cause it all burned up in
the fireballs that blossomed on impact, igniting office material fires that mostly burned out
before the towers fell. Something else turned the towers, and their contents, into dust. Should you
really believe the official story? See beow.

Prove all things; stick with whut iz good!

Givvit a splat!
From Splatman.

More from splatman:

The frase "Do you understood" is not a dis-iplinarian-twisted variation of "don't you dare do that
again", or some other nonsense ear abuse. I figured that when I learned that 'undersood' is past
tense of 'understand'.

When your parents yell at you, act like you couldn't hear/understand what thay're saying. Say
something calmly like, "I can't hear you with all the yelling. If you cut the yelling, I'll be able
to hear and understand what you are trying to say" Otherwise, just cover your ears well. If thay
yell more often that not, wear ear protection. Yelling should come with a clearly visible warning
label.

Mind-based simulations are a tricky subject. Explaining one is even trickier.

Music CDs with boring covers usually have boring music.

No matter how solid you build something, there's always the issue of elastic deformation. The trick
is to minimalize to within your specified tolorance(s).

The best TV shows also seem to have the shortest lifespans. Super Sloppy Double Dare (my fave show)
is a prime example.

Givvit a splat!
From Splatman.

That barbie and ken were originally made as brother and sister.





"Learned this one after having a baby, when mixing formula, put the dry stuff in first, then the
liquid in to the amount of formula you want, and mix, comes out to the same amount, where if you
put the liquid in first, then the dry, you get more than you wanted."

This one has been bugging me.  If you do this, the resulting formula is more consentrated because
you've used less water.  It doesn't matter which order you mix them in as long as you use the
correct amount of water for X number of scoops.  Yes, you will end up with a little more formula
than you may need, but it will be mixed correctly.









When you're eating something, and suddenly discover a different texture that you weren't expecting
(a soft food suddenly being slimy) you WILL stop eating it until you detemrine what happened.





During my time at university i have discovered:

Student loans never last as long as you thought, no matter how much you budget.

Ramen noodles can be made even better by adding  a little bacon and tomato. (Works on any flavour)

You never really know a person till you live with them.

If you whine about the washing up piling up, it is inevitbale that when you look, most of it will
be yours.

The man next door will love loud rap music and work the night shift. (particualrly on days when you
have to get up early)

Always have two, battery powered alarm clocks set simultaneously. Particularly before exams.

If you hate your course...switch!!!

Don't get drunk the night before your final.

Psychology students are scary in large packs...

Subject socials are a bad idea...drunken tutors...

Buy cheap vodka, you're mixing it anyway.

Reading cockeyed.com is not conducive to writing essays.

When girls complain to you about something, they are not asking you for a solution. What they are
really looking for is sympathy. So shut up and match her level of unhappiness with Awwws and junk
like that. You will be laying pipe in a matter of moments. If she is complaining about $$ issues,
disperse immediately.

Never, ever, EVER skateboard drunk. Just don't.

Ugly chicks with slamming bodies are much better than fine chicks with ok bodies. You don't need to
worry 1/2 as much about her cheating on you. Chances are, she is going to start looking a whole lot
better after a month or so.  

The things that piss us off about other people are really the same things that we hate most about
ourselves.

Setting off fireworks on that hill at 11pm is NOT a good idea, and the farmer who owns the adjacent
field WILL wake up and chase you off.

Mechanically separated chicken is a good reason to stop eating fast food. Say it out loud.
Mechanically separated chicken. Watch the videos. Change how animals are treated prior to death.
Dont be cruel to a heart thats true, bro. yeah, it may sound gay... but its totally not.

Concerning Gay Bashers: The only other people that go out at night looking for gay guys to punish
are  Other gay guys. Kind of like the stoner cops staking out pipe stores looking to bust drug
addicts...   

2 parts vodka, 1 part Kaluah, 1 part half & half -- much, much better than 40 ouncers. Potency-wise,
as well as in the overall enjoyability of the quality of stupor. Feels better, swaht im saying. lets
go lie on the lawn. ive done it before, its fun.

saying lol is the stupidest fucking thing ive ever heard of, and all of you philistines should be
marched to the icy, icy creek and forced to wash your privates in repentance.   
I hate this country.







It is okay to designate yourself as "The Sorry Bastard" in any social setting where food is
involved.  Your job as such is to take the last item from the plate/box/jar/etc. before it goes bad
or the owner of the plate/box/jar/etc. is forced to eat it themselves or throw it out.  I came up
with the title "The Sorry Bastard" as in: "Who's the sorry bastard that ate the last brownie?"











I discovered that I'm able to keep from misusing two commonly misused words by remembering this
sentence: "You AFFECT a look for EFFECT."



I don't have time to read through all of these, but did you know that when pooping, you can put
toilet paper in the water to avoid the water splashing back and hitting you where it'd be really
cold?



"If you like a strong flavoured cheese, just cut off the mould - it won't hurt you."
OH MY GOD DON'T DO THAT.
Not only is mould poisonous (and it WILL hurt you), but it grows through the cheese.
You can see it inside the cheese because the cultures are smaller than on the outside, but it'll
still make you sick.
Please remember to throw out mouldy cheese.





















it's amazing what people do not know! Watch PBS!





I understand. Considering something stupid because everyone you know has it figured out will leave
out the ability to exercise your ability to figure anything new and unusual. With great exercise
comes great ability.

Sara-Lee Blueberry Bagels use an obvious tasting perfume. So I think that a lot of industrial
flavorings are just a class of perfume. And I get chewed-out by my niece for daring to suggest that
she try using a single drop of her vanilla perfume in the cake-mix!

Girls like assholes. We're not sure why this phenomenon occurs. But we are investigating this. 

Nicely Put!

be5866@cockeyed.com


Rob Cockerham's fave expletive should be "cluck".
Ya know wut the cluck I'm talkin' about?
The F word just does not fit the Cockeyed theme.

From Splatman
20:54 PST


that I LLLLLOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE your website

Breakfast is called like that because you break the fasting done when you are sleeping. burn the wick eventually: when it becomes too long to pull molten wax all the way to the
end, and the string no longer has wax in it at the end, the end will burn.  It has to, otherwise
you\'d end up with huge long wicks when the candle burns down.

Jon.
Vancouver, BC

































Also, Jesus was very likely a stone-mason. Skilled in carpentry as well, but likely working with
stone more. 











It took me a while to realize that swaying trees were the effect of wind, and not the cause.

Commercial helium is not \"a by-product of nuclear electric generation.\" Helium is removed from
natural gas wells, some have a few percent of helium in them. The helium, like everything else in
the universe except most of the hydrogen, was created by a nuclear reaction at some point.

That is a thing figured out: we\'re all made of bits of old exploded stars.

Some more in depth on this. The force is called centrifugal force. Much like a gyroscope works. In
bicycles and motorcles, the tires are more rounded than in a vehicle. This same force helps the
apparatus \"stand back up\" out of a lean without ever actually having to make it do so. Just stop
leaning. Most beginning bike (and motorcycle) riders will hurt themselves or the bike at low speeds
by trying to put their foot down, instead of just giving it a little jump in speed to right it up. 

Someone wrote on page 8:

 Ctr + x = cut
Ctr + c = copy
Ctr + v = paste
Ctr + z = undo
Ctr + y = redo
Ctr + s = Select All
Ctr + f = Find

In actuality, CTRL + S will SAVE a document. If you want to select all, use CTRL + A.







When you are young and in love, buy jewelry at a pawn shop. Gold and diamonds are already millions
of years old.