I FIGGERED OUT HOW TO TURN ON TEH LITHT BULB this is a very usefull tip. i dont know why i didnt think of it! thanks Rob! I've been using the LEFT/PORT trick for a while now. I'm a bartender, and I often use a variation of that to keep track of drinks. If a customer ordered a Vodka+Soda and a Vodka+Tonic, two drinks that look exactly alike, I would place the Soda drink on my left, and ultimately when he asked which was which, I'd know that the Vodka SODA was on my LEFT. Keep up the interesting web content, I've been an avid reader ever since Watermelon Night. Danny Loental(Chris's bro) While doing dishes, if you drop a knife in soapy water, use a drinking glass to penetrate the suds and find the knife with ease. Pepto Bismol can turn your tongue black. The shortcut keys for Undo, Cut and Paste (CTRL or CMD Z, X, V) aren't just convenient for your fingers: they represent what you'd write to do the same sort of thing on paper. Undo is Z -- picture scratching something out. X is cut -- picture crossing something out. V is paste -- picture drawing a little "v" between two words and then writing something above it when you're editing a paper. Smart people! Unless you are a left handed golfer... or a dyslexic eater... I discovered that the pandas under my bed are REAL. you can take a face cloth, and like Indiana Jones, whip it around the towel rack. no need to tuck it in like a larger towel. Don't you hate it when you're pouring some kind of liquid out of something, and instead of pouring normally, it all runs down the side of the vessel, falls off the bottom of it, and gets all over the table or floor? Well, I discovered that if you pour the liquid really fast, you can totally avoid that problem! If you are going to keep arachnids or large insects that must be fed live prey, buy a bunch of feeder roaches, don't use crickets. Crickets escape and are very noisey. Roaches will breed and give you a sustainable food source, they cannot jump or make noise, and most of them cannot climb glass. Also, if you get a cut on your hand, hang it out of the side of the shower when you take one, the wound will not get moist and re-open. It'll heal a lot faster. Rubbing your eyes is the worst way to get out motes and other such irritants. The easiest way is to stare down and blink rapidly, allowing your eyeslids do their task; the best way is to look down a bit and have a good cry. In summary, if you plan on being in or around sandstorms, try to be in an emotionally abusive relationship. -Sissy Observe people and learn from other's mistakes. Take time to calm down before making an important decision or saying anything. Smiling at people you don't know (especially people who are working at a store!) is courteous and you will be treated better. Having random people flirting with you in a public mall is NOT cool. Especially when it's in front of your finacee and his parents!!! It's creepy, too!! Love takes time and energy, and effort. If you don't want to work through the hard times, your relationship won't last. Think about all the good times, and work together, compromise, or it will never work. Be careful about what you say in public. You never know who's listening. Cell phones with smooth, touch-sensitive keys may look stylish, but the keys are dead easy to press by accident. Annoying! There's a booger in my sugar, no it's-not! Somebody said (on the third page) that coffee balances out the damage you do to your liver with alcohol. That's not entirely true. Studies show that coffee in moderation can help reduce cirrhosis of the liver, but too much coffee will kill your poor little liver - and coffee and booze won't balance each other out. I have a friend who is an alcoholic and coffee addict. The doctors say he can never have booze or coffee again or he will DIE! Sucked in, I say. A good way to embezzle money is to make a bank think that you would have expensive material locked in storage compartments in a distant location (that is the hard part). Then use the expensive material in storage as collateral against large loans. You can keep doin this for a while with clever book-keeping, but eventually you will get found out, so have a fast boat waiting at the docks. Also to remember PORT is left...Just think is there any PORT LEFT? (port like the wine or whatever) If you can't remember whether you should use "its" or "it's", simply take a moment to think about the sentence: If you can replace the "its" (or "it's") with "it is" or "it has", and the sentence still makes sense, then you need the one with the apostrophe. [Note for those who need it: the apostrophe is the little thingy that looks like this: ' ] Mike the writer The "hook" and "slice" rule is applied relative to the golfer, therefore, for left handed golfers it's backwards. FYI A few years back I was overweight and was having a tough time dieting... And then one day I just realised: If you don't want to have to get fat out of your body, don't put fat into your body. Realising that made a REAL difference to the way I was eating: I lost fifty pounds (about 24kg) in about six months! Mike the weight-loser Cats are smart, but they're not people, so son't freak out every time your cat coughs up a hairball on the carpet: if you do, the cat will quickly learn that you don't like hairballs on the carpet. So he or she will start coughing them out on your bed, in your shoes, on the cooker... Mike the cat-owner RE: Ice cubes are white because of little air bubbles trapped inside the water as it freezes. Edit: Freezing freshly "boiled water" will create transparent ice cubes, like fancy restaurants. "Stalling for time really works..." Reminds me of a funny anecdote a previous boss of mine used to tell (back when I worked in the sales force at Kesker Co.) He was leading a sales presentation of some very sophisticated scientific equipment once at a research lab and the room was full of scientists and technicians. My boss was getting nervous because the questions they were asking were getting more and more technical and he didn't want to let on that he no longer had any idea what they were talking about. One techie raised his hand and asked a great question about the application of the product. The audience quieted down as my boss thought for a moment and rubbed his chin; he was thinking if he could only answer this question, they'd think he really knows his stuff and would probably buy his equipment. But he had no idea how to answer it. Suddenly, another techie raised his hand and offered an answer himself. Given that the others in the room were nodding to the answer, it must have been a good one. So my boss pointed to him and said "you're absolutely right. That's how I'd do it." And the audience nodded approvingly. So he developed this technique of stalling for time and prompting the real experts in the room to answer the questions. Supermarkets rotate the milk cartons so that the milk at the front of the shelf will expire before the milk behind it; this is to keep their supply of milk longer. Naturally, if you want milk that will last longer, take it from the back (or get that Parmalat Skim Plus, which lasts for a month and a half - good stuff). I learned that when I worked at an A&P for 3 weeks. When mixing/blending poster paints, always add the darker color to the lighter color. Salt shakers have fewer holes than pepper shakers. You wouldn't want to overwhelm yourself with salt, would you? POSH- stands for Port-Out-Starboard-Home. This was developed based on the choice cabins in luxery ocean liners, if you had a posh room, then your room faced the port side on the way out and the starboard side on the way back. One of the things that I've figured out is that no matter how much "emphasis" you give the remote control, it doesn't help the signal from the remote. It only makes you feel like you worked a little harder to make the tv go off. I think this is a left over reaction to the early 70's when only the rich people had remotes, and they were wired. Now that we have wireless remotes, we try to compensate for the lost work by giving it that little "shove" toward the set while changing channels or turning it on or off. That way, we're not rich snobs like those uppity bastards we used to know in the 70's. You should auction off a picture of the TV with the CNN babe -- pule There's an auction waiting to happen in this somewhere. i'm just waiting for you to auction off your baby. -- pule the Byrds--turn turn turn=Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 Human flesh is the ideal protein source for a human, much like adding yoghurt to milk makes more yoghurt, it's perfectly balanced for the task. If you are tired of getting static electricity shocks from touching your doorknob or similar objects, you can touch the object with a metal key first. This discharges the static without giving you an unpleasant shock. What if you're left handed, wouldn't you hook the golf ball the other way If theres a large worldwide event, usually sporting (Tour De France, Olympics, etc) which one television network in a particular country has the exclusive rights, the other television stations in their news/sports reports will show the vision from another countries broadcaster rather than promote a rivals domestic station If you are really short and your seatbelt rubs on your neck. Before you click it in, twist it 3 or 4 times. That way the one that goes over your shoulder wont start its accent until its half way across your lap. I found out a while ago that 'port' used to be 'larboard'. But apparently, larboard and starboard caused too many problems cause they sounded similar, especially when shouted. So, they made larboard into port. Which really makes no sense as it was the easier one to remember what with the 'l' in the name. Go figure. Well, sometimes they go on because they have really REALLY good personalities. I can't name anyone in particular, but if you look at the people who are on the tonight show or letterman a LOT (like people with record numbers - and I'm not talking about the dude who brings in the animals), they're there mostly because they really can just TALK and be interesting. Now I wish I could remember who those people ARE. When I was very young I figured out that light reflects off of everything when I noticed the light on my bed change as I moved my hand closer. The light would reflect off of my hand and onto the bed which would cause the change. I think a Hook only goes left if you're right-handed. Uma, Jerry! Uma!! Passport means permission to pass outside a port, from the days when sailors used to come and go as they wished but were not allowed outside of the port authority area without a "pass port" Meat is muscle. Poor Ethan Hawke. Hooked golfballs only go left if you are a right handed golfer. Lefties hook golfballs to the right. This is gross but: I figured out that poo only takes on its familiar 'log' shape through extrusion... inside the body, poo is actually just a big mass. I had always imagined it as being log-like in the body, but nope. Big mass. (The grossest part is that I came to this realization while seeing my mother use a pastry bag... as you may imagine, I had none of her delicious frosting that thanksgiving.) After a long night of drinking my poop is often miscolored (black). another way to remember which side is port and starbord is to kow the way those terms came about (learned this the other day on the history chanel) On Viking Longboats, the rudder, or 'Steerboard' was on the side of the ship. due to the fact that most are right handed, it was usually installed on the Right side of the ship. Because of this, the ship would dock along it's left side hance the term 'Port' Just remember, steer with your right hand with the Steerboard, which evolved into Starboard, and Port is on the other side. If you brush or comb your hair while it's wet, brush the ends of your hair from the inside. When they dry, they'll curve in a little instead of doing the Nike Swoosh out. Just to add to your "July 31, 2006 - Stars only go on Talk Shows" posting: I always think it's totally bogus how some talk show hosts courteously ask, at the end of the interview, "Would you come back and visit us?" It's a cheap way to end off the interview on an amicable note, but we all know the guest would never get invited back unless he/she had a new trick to perform, or new movie to promote. wah weah The popular doll barbie and Ken were originally modeled to be brother and sister.... hmm.. makes those barbie tea parties and date nights in the barbie convertable seem a bit scary. In the good old days of the Johnny Carson show, celbrities would often show up just to chat with Johnny. Sometimes telling jokes or fooling around. Dean Martin, Jimmy Stewart and others come to mind. Today, they only show up on Letterman to sell something and they usually look like they can't wait to leave. web pages are dumb sometimes A but a hook only goes to the left if you're a right handed golfer. If you shoot left then a hook goes to the right...confusing no? The chorus of "Wattershed" by Foo Fighters is not "I wanna swim in the washer, I wanna listen to Foghat. I lost a gallon of seal fat, I keep on thinking my cat's a hat". I need to stop singing it like that. Vickie When I first started flying planes, I kept forgetting which wing had the red light and which had the green one. It's the same system that boats use: the port side has a red light, and the starboard side a green light. Then it hit me: PORT wine is RED. I've never even had to think about it since! Everyone, no matter how much the seem to have their stuff together and life in order - is a basket case. Pick the person in your life that most seems to be the most stable, sane, rational, person with the least number of problems, issues, or demons. Get to know this person well enough and you'll find out that they too have as many problems as you... they are just better at hiding them. It's Nordstrom, not Nordstrom's. Contrary to the impression one might get from storybooks, there are boy cats and girl dogs. They are not different genders of the same species. Same with horses and cows. So I wasn't really exposed to domesticated animals so much as a kid. cool, can i put these on my "things I figured out" page? Oh wait, you just taught them to me... I figured out Jimi Hendrix was singing, "Excuse me while I KISS THE SKY." Not, "Excuse me while I KISS THIS GUY." And the Beatles sang "She's got a TICKET TO RIDE." Not, "She's got a CHICKEN TO RIDE." Sprint PCS has standardized their phone chargers, both the car and home/office wall chargers will work on all their phones no matter what model/manufacturer! Amazing! Ambur Bennally and Brooke Pannell are two of the hottest girls on the net!!! My understanding was the managers of celebrities bid competitively for the exposure generated from talk shows and magazine covers, with the price scheduled adjusted for the number of advert-viewings the network/publisher thinks a particular "guest" would bring. If your computer runs slow and you need more memory for something at the moment, you can hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete, and end the Explorer Process. Be sure to have the program you want to use open first, as this removes the desktop. When you're done using the program and want the desktop back, hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete, click Add New Process, and type in explorer.exe, and you're back to where you started. Metric really, really is easier than US Standard. If nothing else, it's easier to find 418mm on a ruler than it is to find 1'4 7/16". There is no spoon A hook is to the left and slice to the right only if you are right handed. For lefties it is opposite. I figured out you can submit pretty much any random text, and then you get to read what others have submitted! However, you must suffer through non line-wrapped plaintext, ugh. The Orient is not east Asia, it's in the Middle East - specifically Turkey (mostly). Something that's 'Oriental' is a product of the Orient. People from east Asia (China, Japan, etc.) are not Oriental - it's doubly offensive to call them so. Better attitude = better customer service. Bad attitude = spit in your food or equivalent. Are you saying that Uma is fading? I'd have to agree. Anyway, this talk show parlance did not always be this way. Many a times Letterman would have Tony Randall (to fill), or Peter O'Toole, or Richard Harris on to cut-it-up. But it goes back further than that even... "Car lengths" can be difficult to estimate. The easy way is to drive about two seconds behind the car in front of you. A lot of us underestimate seconds and that puts us spot on the "car length per ten mph" rule of thumb. Promotional give-aways are not "free". The person/company giving it away will always recoup the cost, and then some. For example, GM Canada offers "one year of gas discounted by $0.20/L" (that's a hefty discount, on the order of 20%). However, there's a limit of 2500L, which means that it's really only a $500 value - IF you use 2500L (or more) gas in a year. You can negotiate a better deal than that, and save way more up front instead. Most other giveaways are similarily flawed. the girl on that tv is hot. When using color coded RCA jacks for electronics: "Left is white and red is right" It's hard to drive a car, deal with a toll booth operator, or a police officer if you have the need to vomit immediately or are holding in the vomit with your cheeks and hands. Similar to press releases, they also come with prepackaged clips and graphics to display what they are promoting. I've always known that, but I've also always wondered why someone couldn't have started a talk show where they just invite celebrities that like; the ones who might simply make intersting conversation. Maybe even give them more than four minutes to talk. I guess that's probably not profitable. This is especially embarrassing, because in retrospect it is so obvious. However, it was until a couple of years ago that I figured out that Kanga, the mother kangaroo from the childrens' stories Winnie the Pooh, and her baby Roo form the word Kangaroo when combined. I just thought that they both had unique names. I also discovered that the reason you are supposed to throw salt over your left shoulder after you spill it is that the devil is associated with the "left" (since Christ sits on the RIGHT hand of God) and the salt is meant to be thrown in the eyes of Satan. Towtruck companies at times have cameras set up to watch your every move. Don't think you can park somewhere for 20 minutes and get away with parking. They can have an office where they monitor your moves and call their buddies that are patrolling the area. Highly efficient m-fr's. don't go for walks at 8 30 pm and not expect gangsters roaming the streets Well actualy its alot simpeler then that, there are newsroom software programs like KLZ that tap you into nation wide databaces of news updated every minute. Its handy for boasting "uptodate news" because it can go from the software right to the teleprompter in 5 seconds rob alternates each comment by color..the black isn't his commentary! now i understand... Your 'hook' thing has a flaw. It only goes left if you are right-handed. So, the rule should be; 'hook' has 4 letters and so does 'left' so the ball goes left but if your handed-ness (is that a word?) also has four letters then the ball goes right. I tried to figure out the equivalent for 'slice' but I gave myself a headache. :-) Terry They're called "trailers" because they "trail" behind cars and trucks. I found an easy way to remember the colours of the navigation lights for the port and starboard sides of a boat. Port wine is red and the colour of the port side navigation light on a boat is red. I think this is true for planes too but I am not sure. The starboard light is green. I woke upthis morning with a "Things I Figured Out" thought....George Washington spoke with an English accent. Riding a unicycle is even harder at low speed. you have to really throw yourself forward and peddal like mad or you fall straight off. The hard bit is balancing forward and back, side to side is easy if you are going fast enough. Why not try to learn the unicycle Rob and post your progress on here? Uhoh. Someone didn't pay attention in physics class. Bicycles stay balanced because they are constantly steered to keep the center of gravity over the wheels. The gyroscopic effect of the wheels is negligible. http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/aed29/Bad_Mechanics.htm Rob, I didn't know you wore skirts and nylons. Rob? What, exactly, is the logo/photo collage for this section? You appear to be falling from a plane wing from a high altitude, while there's a portal of some sort containing a guy and a bench. I mean...what the hell? I've figured out that you're likely deranged. Another, less direct way of remembering the starboard/port difference is that until somewhere around the 1840s it was starboard and larboard(for various reasons including old english spelling). Larboard was left, starboard was right. For some reason I always forget which is port, even with the letter thing. Good to know the hook/slice thing, in case I ever golf The high-speed benefit of bike wheels is particularly noticable if you jump off the bike and let it continue rolling without a pilot. This is known as "Ghost Riding". When leading a large stubborn animal (horse, donkey, mule, large dog, etc.) it is much, much more effective to stand by their sholder and lead them (sometimes with a hand on their sholder if needed), than to stand in front and pull. They are stronger, they WILL win. I found this out trying to lead my horse down a flight of steps. My discovery: the plastic scoop provided in laundry detergent powder typically should only be filled 3/4 for a full load according to the directions. They give you a bigger scoop so you'll use it faster and have to buy more... very clever! Motorcycles work on the same principle as bicycles: Forward momentum will keep you upright. I certainly didn't go to Cornel for physics class, so it looks like the real problem is not "not paying attention" but attributing the bulk of an effect to one phenomenon instead of another. drinking lots of water before going to sleep will make you pee a lot when you get up. She is hawt! A jet-ski is also more stable and easier to steer on the water the faster you go. I tested this thoroughly on the Potomac River this summer. A few things I learned by working in radio: Radio Disc Jockeys do not pick "the tenth caller" (or any other number). They field calls until they find someone with a good, clear voice who will sound good on the radio, and they they tell them they're the right caller. DJs also do not really take requests from listeners (particularly on Top 40 radio). They occasionally record callers asking for a song and then when that song comes up in the rotation anyway, they play the tape of the caller's request. DJs do not pick the music they play; they get a list of songs from the Music Director. Top 40 radio is called Top 40 because that's basically all they play in a given week - 40 songs. Over and over. The number 1 song on a Top 40 station will get played, on average, every 2.5 hours. That's about 9-10 times a day, and 60-70 times a week. Trader Joe's makes the worst mayonnaise I've ever tasted. It tastes like...fish shit. Just go buy a tub of Best Foods at Safeway. Theres a reason that its called "Best Foods". Sorry, Joe. Ketchup has anchovies in it. Icky! I discovered that there is absolutely no choclate in white choclate. False advertising! A tennis racket is an amazing surface. It's stiff enough to return a ball, but porous enough to let air swish through it--making it easy to swing fast! driving in the USA, if the line dividing your lane from another is white, it means traffic on the side opposite you is traveling the same way-- if it is yellow, traffic on the other side is headed in the opposite direction. I was with a friend the day she realized Stadium Blvd was named for the fact that a stadium is located on it. You should really clean and lube your chain more often. Maybe you could actually buy some WD-40 off eBay and spruce things up a bit. -- pule A lot of the 8.5 x 11 paper we use in our office is for internal use only. Almost all of this is printed on one side. Lately, we've started re-using it. Instead of tossing it right into the recycle bin when we're done with it, if its blank on the back, we mark through the printed side with pink highliter and put it in a paper tray by the printer. If you're just printing more internal stuff, use the pink-marked paper, if its for our customers, use the fresh paper in the printer. Makes the paper go farther and the recycling effort more useful. guns aren't all bad, its just that they let idiots own them too i learn how to ride a bike in two hours by myself. had i had help, like my mom holding the back of my seat and telling me to go slower, i probably would never have learned to ride. i probably would have given up. thanks for putting up all this usless info rob!! its my favorite kind of info!! :) More often than not, the prescribed amount of time on the back of a frozen pizza box is NOT long enough. Drinking grape soda makes your turds green. when im in a dark room and i stare at a certain point, black starts to cave into my eyesight. ive never fully gotten my eyes to be completely black without readjusting me eyesight first, i dont even know if its possible. For the longest time i thought the goodwill logo was just a smiley face. It turns out you can compose an essay of just quotes if you site the resources. Most of the time when explaining a joke over and over again, its not because the other person doesnt get it, its because they actually dont think its funny. Fake breasts are not as attractive as real breasts in any circumstance; even if the fake breasts are larger. Chicks want sex just as much as guys do. Some 'interviews' on radio stations, are actually pre-recorded with other DJs (or interviewers). Then a 'script' is passed with the interview so that new DJs at other stations can have the 'interview' for their audience. Stars also go on talk shows when they are trying to save their career (see King, Larry "The Softball Question Master") There's a gated cemetary down in the Lower East Side. Its the Law of Conservation of Angular Momentum. I know youre a physics buff so I dont have to explain it. Its the same reason why a bike or motorcycle leans to one side while changing directions. Cool stuff. "The rotation of the wheels creates a force which keeps the bike from falling over." Yes, but the magnitude of that force is so small it hardly counts towards keeping a bike upright. Read the following thread to get a better understanding of the forces involved and how a bike stays upright. Or, as one of the posters in the thread suggests, lift the front wheel on your bike and spin it up to over 10 mile per hour. Can you turn the handlebars and lean the bike side to side? Then it's clear that force is pretty weak. http://groups.google.com/group/rec.bicycles.tech/browse_frm/thread/d7053a33cab89f59/63a4a90b69428b6e?lnk=st&q=&rnum=1&hl=en#63a4a90b69428b6e Balancing a bicycle has little to do with the gyroscopic effect, and most everything to do with negative trail. OK, I didn't figure that out myself; it was Richard Klein of UIUC (http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mbicycle.html). But I did figure something out from this episode: You can't figure out how the world works by thinking about it; you have to conduct experiments. OK, that wasn't me either; it was Galileo. Soylent green is people. When a company gives you something for free, it's not actually free. The cost of the free printer, the free car wash, etc, is included in the price of whatever you did end up buying - the computer, the car service, so on. The force from the spinning of the wheels is actually very little of what keeps a person upright. What does keep them upright is that when they start to fall in one direction or the other, they steer slightly in that direction, causing the bicycle to move underneath of them so that they are no longer falling. When you want to turn, you first stear slightly in the wrong direction so that you start to fall in the direction you want to turn, then you begin turning in that direction. If you simply immediately turned in the direction you want to turn, you would fall over in the other direction. People also do the same thing when they walk; when you want to walk forward, you first shift your balance so that you begin to fall forward, then begin walking forward. If you didn't, your feet would move forward but inertia would keep your upper body in the same place and you would fall backwards. However, don't believe me, believe every stupid person in the world who tells you that bicycles balance because the wheels are spinning. Obviously that's why you can't keep one upright when you're not moving, it couldn't possibly have anything to do with being unable to steer the bike up under yourself when it isn't moving, and the fact that when it is sitting still you try to keep it upright by steering couldn't possibly be any indication that I'm right, could it? Door numbers (at least here in the uk get higher as you move away from the town centre. If you hit enter before you start typing it will insert a line break and you hit enter at the end of each line (like you would on a typewriter, your text on here doesn't go all the way across the page. Try it and see. People have got too used to word wrap. (Don't forget to hit enter at the end too) Just to clear up the "starboard - port" thing. Starboard was originally "steer board" which was a steering oar hung over the right hand side. Larboard was originally "lay board" a removable plank of wood hung over the left hand side of the boat to protect it from scraping against the dock when it was in port. Because starboard and larboard sound a bit similar (especially in a storm at sea), the royal navy (uk) changed larboard to port and the custom spread throughout the Engilsh speaking world. Amphibious, such as the LHD ships, fit right into your size convention. They are just smaller than aircraft carriers. Bonny Dick! You can keep track of how large the armed forces are by the first letter: Air Force, Army, Marines, Navy. Or...Maybe not! THE PEOPLE POSTING TO THIS SITE ARE NUTS!!!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THIS ANYMORE!! kjkdkdkdkdkdkikdkdkdkdkdkikdkdkdkdkdkdikdkdkdkdkdkikdkdkdkdkdkdikdkdkdkdkdkdikdkdkdkdkdkdiikdkdkiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiikdkdiiikiikkdkdiikdkdii This reminds me of how I remember what order to put the silverware in! It goes in this order: Fork, Knife, and Spoon. It's alphabetical!! AWESOME! The day I realized that was a good one. And here's how you know how to group them. You point the knife blade inward so you don't cut yourself on it. The spoon is there for ADDED protection. That's how you know those two are grouped together. So the fork is all alone on the other side! But wait! That's where the NAPKIN goes! Underneath!!! Ta da! In the media, i've always heard people ordering "dry" martinis... Usually they say, "martini, very dry". (martinis are composed of gin and vermouth (a sweet, italian spirit). 'Dry' refers to the amount of vermouth in the martini. The dryer the cocktail, the less vermouth it contains.) In fact, Winston Churchill is quoted as saying, "The way to make a perfect martini is to pour a glass of gin while looking at a bottle of vermouth" (extremely dry) So, i was trying to find out why people always order dry martinis... It was tough going, the first 20 people who i interviewed don't drink martinis at all. My first break came when i asked my then science teacher, Mrs. Davidson. Combined with her testimony and that of others, i reached a universal conclusion.... Here is why people order dry martinis: Vermouth is nasty, people don't like it, so they order dry martinis as an excuse to drink gin without just ordering gin. And i suppose they want the olive too. So there you have it, dry martinis are just an excuse to consume gin and still look sophisticated. Battlecruisers, although not really in service anymore (but then, neither are battleships), also fit this scheme. And patrol/torpedo boats. Once you get into things like amphibious assault ships or medical ships or whatever, it breaks down, but those aren't fighting ships anyhow. hmm If you let a candle burn too close to the glass of the candleholder, the candleholder will explode, even if it's your aunt's Waterford crystal. This is mainly for guys, but I guess it can work for french gals, too. If you find that your anti-perspirant isn't working as well as it could, try trimming your armpit hair. Too much hair can prevent the stuff from getting on the skin where it can work, and all you end up with is lots of sweat-free pit hair. You sunk my battleship! I learnt, after years and years of its existence, that red bull isn't actually beer. I was confused because its in a can. I always wondered why the hell people mixed it with vodka. And also I can't believe that Will Smith says 'shootin some b-ball outside of the school'. I thought it was 'meatball' :( I have learned that when you need to empty a can of tomato paste, or something that is thick and sticky, instead of opening one end and trying to spoon out the contents, just open both ends and the contents will virtually fall out!! But be careful and do this over the pot, because sometimes, that thick stuff can move quick! This is the greatest trick ever, and really impresses people when you make something up about air pressure and gravity to explain it. Or they may just think you are a smart-ass. --Jason M The "proof" of liquor is simply the alcohol percentage doubled. For example this 30% alcohol berry flavored vodka I'm drinking right now is 60 proof. http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/feb98/888729125.Ch.r.html -Kyle kyleway@gmail.com The ABC of ships is really cool, had never occured to :-) Toilet seat covers should have the top of the apex of the curve pointing behind you instead of in front. About two years ago, I noticed a toilet seat cover in a bathroom at work was placed backwards. All these years I've battled with the cover sinking into the water before I sat down, it's no longer a problem! Red (navlights) (on the) Right (when) Returning. IE - Leave the red nav-buoy lights on your right(starboard) side when coming back up a channel while boating. You can eat beet tops. Wow, all of those ship's names end in "s"! Rob, there are 2 exceptions to the July 31 TIFO that I've figured out: 1. Stars also go on talk shows to receive acknowledgment for achievement - Roethlisberger after the Super Bowl, Vince Young after the Rose Bowl, etc. 2. Stars also go on talk shows for "damage control" - Hugh Grant after his hooker incident, Tom Cruise after the Brooke Shields drug comments, etc. when i figured out about maximum bids on ebay, i was really dissapointed There are three ways to avoid that feeling, Two you mentioned and the third is not to get drunk at all. The hangover is because your body can't clean out the alcohol fast enough. Drinking a lot of water helps, although if you are really drunk, you can't drink as much as your body needs. I had friends who worked at a hospital who would go in and give each other IVs of fluid--that way you get enough fluid to flush it all out. I guess it was saline, I don't know. LS0tIC0uLSAuLSAtLi0tIC0tLi4tLSAgIC4uLS4gLS0tIC4tLiAgIC0gLi4uLiAuLiAuLi4gLS0u Li0tICAgLi4gICAuLi0uIC0tLSAuLi0gLS4gLS4uICAgLi4uIC0tLSAtLSAuIC0gLi4uLiAuLiAt LiAtLS4gICAtLS0gLi4tIC0gLi0uLS4tICAgCiAuLiAuLi0uICAgLi0gICAtLi0uIC0tLSAtLSAu LS0uIC4uLSAtIC4gLi0uICAgLSAuIC4tLi4gLi0uLiAuLi4gICAtLi0tIC0tLSAuLi0gICAtIC0t LSAgIC4tLiAuIC4uLiAtIC4tIC4tLiAtICAgLS4uLiAuIC4uLS4gLS0tIC4tLiAuICAgLi0gICAu LS0uIC4tLiAtLS0gLS0uIC4tLiAuLSAtLSAgIC4tLSAtLS0gLi0uIC0uLSAuLi4gLS0uLi0tICAg LS4tLSAtLS0gLi4tICAgLi4uLiAuLSAtLi4gICAtLi4uIC4gLSAtIC4gLi0uICAgLi0uIC4gLi4u IC0gLi0gLi0uIC0gLi0uLS4tIA== And also, that isint gibberish. HAHAHA! You took a picture of a drunk passed out bum! Nice. Even when you feel you're entitled to something, start by asking nicely, you can still pull out the big guns afterwards if that fails. You forgot that third way. Don't start drinking in the first place. When the wheels are rotating quickly it creates a gyro that resists falling over. When I was in the Navy we used mnemonics to remember the names of the different aircraft carriers within each class. The only one I remember is "Kitty Cats Eat Applejacks" which translates to Kitty Hawk, Constellation, Enterprise, and America (CV 63-66) ---Jeff in Louisville Rather than memorize the entire "30 Days Hath September" poem, it's much easier to count the hills and valleys on your knuckles to determine how many days are in a month. Make a fist. January = first hill/knuckle (31 days), February = valley/space (well, you just have to remember February has 28 or 29 days, as opposed to 30 for the rest of the valleys), and so on. When you get to your last knuckle on your first hand (July), start on the first knuckle of your other hand (August). This is the crucial aspect of the calendar that won't let you to simply alternate long and short months, and your knuckles across both hands are spaced perfectly! You'll never set an appointment for November 31st again! Pacman is a pizza pie, Not a yellow face with eyes. YOU MUST BE DRUNK, YOU CRAZY BASTARD! Should be noted, oddly, that alcohol is considered a depressant, not a stimulant. Certain types of alcohol make going up and coming down much more pleasant. The more inane the book or movie, the more often the "star" will be on these shows. Never take a muscle relaxer at 2 a.m. if you have to work at 9 a.m. the next day. Or even if you have to work at 2 p.m. I've learned that sucking whipped cream through a straw (especially when every bit of my double chocolate chip frappucino is gone) tastes like extra-frothy and creamy saliva. the girl in the strapless dress, someone should tell her those black stockings look horrendous It is against the law to break the law. Buffalo sauce is nasty! Margarine is similar chemically to plastic Nabisco (the company that makes cookies and crackers) was originally called National Biscuit Company... Na-Bis-Co. I learned that one a few years back and it still makes me smile when I think of it. Whenever I travel, I have a lot of electronic items to pack, and these inevitably involve cords (chargers, headphones, etc.) If I don't hunt down a twisty tie from somewhere, these can end up becoming a big tangled mess. It's much easier to save the twisty tie most new electronics come with by simply twisting it around the cord. That way whenever I need to pack any electronics, I am never missing a tie. February pronounced feb-ROO-ary, not feb-YOO-ary like most people do. February is pronounced feb-ROO-ary, not feb-YOO-ary like most people do. Each light at a traffic signal is actually many tiny lights grouped together closely. That way if one burns out, catastrophe does not ensue. A clever solution to a dead serious problem. I love things like that. At least once a week (once a day if you can manage it) turn the stereo in your car off while you are driving and really listen to your engine. Spotting problems early is the key to saving a load of money and hassle on vehicle maintenance. This whole thing isn't about perfect factual accuracy. True or false, it's about what people have figured out. A big part of which is individual perception about how the world works. But I guess that's just my individual perception... You forgot Amphibious ships. The term 'the net' is short for 'the internet'. Never noticed because because I've always thought it was dumb to refer to it as 'the net'. Just dawned on me today. I work in the IT field :/ (22y/o) dfdfddfsvdvfdvfgvdgvf I think I figured out that that picture is from how much is inside a keg. In any job, if you situate your computer so the screen faces away from passersby then everyone will assume you are reading blogs and fucking around. They will all know. Parking in a parking lot next to a curb reduces the number of potential door dings by 50%. and the other half dont drink i find it's easier to deal with the come-down and stay awake until im sober. It prevents me from getting sick or having a hangover the next day. I was twelve when I first came across the saying "a stitch in time saves nine." It was in a book in which the main character comes across people who can actually move time and fold it like cloth. This led me to be very confused about why there would be an old saying about stitching time if no one can actually do it, and saving nine whats? It wasn't until a lot later that I realized it meant if you find something early and deal with it (little hole...one stitch) it takes a lot less work than when you have to fix it later (nine stitches...big hole).