Does this include one-on-one fighting tactics, or just big army tactics?
Monday 02nd of July 2007 3:15 am
Does this include one-on-one fighting tactics, or just big army tactics? |
 This! Is! SPARTAAAAA! |
 My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. I've gotta get
inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days. |
 In the Lion King, Simba totally flips Scar onto his back right when you think the fight is over. That's poetry. |
 I'm a fan of the movie "Red Dawn". A band of teenagers guerrillas skirmish with evil Communist Cuban and Soviet invaders
using guerrilla tactics, such as use of enemy weapons, blending into the public populace, and setting up numerous
ambushes to deliver attacks that aren't very strong or devastating, but are smaller and demoralizing to the enemy
force. The result, the communists were driven from Colorado. Take that, comrade! |
 Rob, this is so interesting! Can you fly to Burbank tonight to be on my show and talk more about it? |
 In Starship Troopers, in the very first battle, the marines are transported to the bug planet. Unfortunately, they were
given no information as to what the battle plans were and every man had to fend for himself. The battle was over very
quickly. |
 I like ARnold in Commando...the scene where he imbeds the circular saw blade in that guy's head is ART! |
 In Cryptonomicon (another book), the good guys are unable to recover gold from the entrance of a WWII-era mine, which
the Japanese filled when it became obvious they'd lose the war. The bad guys had control of the area around the mine
entrance. It was just a matter of time before the bad guys would dig through the entrance to the mine. So they
filled the mine full of petrol and melted the gold, which then flowed out a secondary ent |
 I am better... |
 Ok, it's not a battle tactic, but I like the new 'heist' tactics employed in movies. Favorite examples include the
reverse heist in the reprised Thomas Crown Affair and the popcorn laser heist in Real Genius. |
 The way Balian destroys Saladin's siege towers with his catapults in Kingdom of Heaven (2005). Sorry, I dont have time
to explain how he does it :p |
 More of a nerdy one...
At the end of Star Trek 6, the Enterprise is facing off against a cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey that can fire while
cloaked.
The enterprise (unable to target a cloaked ship) modifies a torpedo to follow The Kliongons impulse engine exaust and
sends it right up their tail pipe. The resulting explosion allows the Enterprise and Exelsior (who had just dropped out
of warp to assist) to lock on and destroy the Klngon |
 Just when you think Leroy is going to be drowned, he realizes that he has The Glow and beats the crap out of Sho'Nuff. |
 I'm sure by now it's been said, but what about in Gladiator when Maximus makes a battle tactic on the fly on his first
trip to the coliseum? He instructs everyone to form a tight circle and form their shields into one big impenetrable
group and slowly pick off the opposing foes. |
 "Galaxy Quest", where they get magnetic-attractive mines to follow their ship back towards the enemy vessel.
"Star Trek III: The Search for Spock", where they set the auto-destruct on Enterprise before being boarded by Klingons,
and simultaneously beam over to the enemy ship and use that to escape (and is what they use in ST-IV). |
 The classic "lets attack the single unarmed hero one at a time" technique employed by a group of bad guys. |
Hi |
 The classic Half-Pencer maneuver! [okay, that's a TV show (the A team) |
 I am not sure about my favorite by my least favorite would have to be in Dune where Paul "I can break things with my
voice" Atreides yells at me, I mean Feyd-Rautha, and his body bursts. How lame is that? I mean, if anyone should have
be using their voice to save the day is should have been someone with an actually decent voice. Someone who had maybe
led a band. Someone like me, or Feyd-Rautha that is. |
No. |
 Dance fighting, like in "West Side Story." |
 LOTR, Duh. |
 Willow - where they hide in the holes until the crucial moment where Willow bangs the drum and they all run out of the
holes and get inside the castle. How did they dig the holes and hide without being detected by anyone in the castle?
THAT is clever tactics! Or bad film-making. |
 I liked it in Snatch Blasters #9 when Peter North uses the Philly Fake-out. You never see that one coming! |
 Thank you very much! |
 My choice is from Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, when Sauruman cleverly distracts the heroes with a frontal assault
on the walls of their fortress while sneaking in wall-destroying bombs to blow them apart. |
 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! |
"combat tactic?" |
 The porcupine and phalanx tactics used in the movie '300' was pretty impressive, especially when you take into account
that they were based on a true story. |
 Hovercraft |
 In butch cassidey and the sundance kid, sundance is going to fight one of his gang members and he says wait lest get the
rules settled first and the other guy goes there are no rules and then sundance kicks him real hard in the crotch with
his boot and wins the fight. |
 The prom scene in Sixteen Candles. YEA! |
Yes. That's hot. |
 Sending the oil out on the bus, and filling the tanker with sand, in The Road Warrior. |
 Dude, the most awesome battle scene ever was when those preppy kids prayed to the god of rock to destroy the crowd and
the poser rockers with their sweet rock tunes! |
 How about when I defeated that crazy island with just myself, a volleyball, and an unopened FedEx box? |
 Probably when I turned all Emo Spidey and like destroyed the big sand thing. |
 The Light Sharpener.
Page Eleven? |
Spock on Kahn: "he is intelligent, but inexperienced, his strategy suggests two dimensional thinking." AND THEY TOTALLY
WENT FRITO-LAY 3D ON HIS RICH CORINTHIAN SPACE ASS
|
I like Night Watch where, throughout the film the antagonist is seen plotting the final 'battle' scene, in which he
finally comes to the conclusion that he can win by not fighting, thus seeming like a hero |
 Iphone, that is the best comment so far! Ha ha! |
I make love to my wife for hours at a time |
 that one where the guys do the stuff and win |
 that one where the guys do the stuff and win |
No |
 Ewoks smashing shit with logs. |
 Pounding my staff into a stone bridge. |
 The "Picket Fence" maneuver from Hoosiers not only brought victory to the underdog team, but proved washed-up alcoholic
Dennis Hopper could still coach |
Cross the streams! |
Going for the exhaust port on the Death Star. Who would've thought? I mean that thing isn't much wider than two
meters! |
 4 G's while inverted. Keeping up foreign relations, you know, giving him the bird.
Also Slyder, you stink! |
 I know a few things about unexpected combat tactics! |
Another tactic lost to ender wiggins! |
 Parting the red sea. Watch out, it's gonna close back up! |
I'm partial to any movie where the main tactic is boring, motionless Tantric sex. Hours go by with no action or climax. |
 As an attractive male myself, I am very pleased you are allowing myself and other attractive males the chance to comment
on your fine website. |
 Dune: The riding of the huge sandworms |
 How about the tactic by Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" where he takes the weapons of his defeated foes? He
constantly upgrades... going from a bat, to a knife, to a gun, and then a... ROCKET LAUNCHER? |
 I am Jack's colon. |
 The Three Amigos. The whole town is dressed like the Amigos. How great is that? The enemy was confusing little girls
dressed like the Amigos for the real deal. |
In "Kelly's Heroes", Clint Eastwood and I lead a band of US Army gold-digging misfits after a cache of Nazi gold. We
use the narrow streets of the small French town to sneak up on the powerful German Tiger tanks, exposing their weak
rear armor to the US Sherman tanks weaker main gun. Additionally, we use the church bells and the Germans' idling
diesel engines to camoflague the sound of our approach. |
Yeah, it's called the money shot. Who loves ya baby!? |
In both Braveheart and Last Samari.... The old set the battle field on fire trick. That's the battle equivilent of the
fake field goal for a touchdown. Technically legal, but still underhanded. |
 Which way is up? |
In the movie "Half Baked", the three friends (Thurgood, Brian, and Scarface) are forced to fight Samson and his
bitches/henchwomen. Their tactic of "Let's beat these bitches!" is effective at first, but because of Scarface's
headlong rush to attack Samson (in retribution for the death of Killer) the protagonists find themselves at an impasse
from which defeat seems close. However, Brian prays to the ashes of Jerry Garcia, and things end |
I'm rather partial to the Crazy Ivan. |
 That's all fine and good, Rob, but how can I watch action movies as Africa burns? |
I don't know who this is, so I'm commenting to find out! |
 When I was alive, I would have had an opinion. Now that I'm CGI, it just. Doesn't. Matter. Any. More. |
Dude, where are the Lord of the Rings battles? |
Why do people have to FIGHT! why cant they just get drunk and drive the night away? i mean come on, people, just drive
your problems away! |
In Galaxy Quest, Tim Allen and his friends are faced with overwhelming odds against a much more skilled opponent. They
fly through a magnetic mine-field, luring mines directly into the enemy ship. |
 In the movie Snatch, Brad Pitt plays a pikey who takes a pounding from a very large amateur boxer. When the boxer thinks
he's beat the piss out of the pikey, Pitt turns around and in one precise punch, knocks the boxer unconscious, revealing
that he himself is a professional bare-knuckle boxer.
God, I wish I was as sexy as Pitt. |
 yes, the sexual war, in which a man and woman wage battle until exhaustion. |
I like the part in Biodome where Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin run around and act like asses. It's pretty much the
whole movie. |
Hey Alex, Your Momsh got shome pretty good waarr tacticsh- have you ever heard her moo- itsh fantashtic. |
In "Predator" there are many great tactics, the best one being to fire all at once into the jungle, foregoing any common
sense as well as special forces training Arnold's squad should have had. The super-micro cut on the predator's leg was
exactly what Dutch had in mind so he could use the old line "If it bleeds, we can kill it." |
Two Galaxy Quest comments regarding battle tactics? Are you kidding me? |
 Any combat that involves shirtless men is good by me!! |
 When Tom Cruise and most of America run aimlessly about the country in War of the Worlds, mercifully removing themselves
from the gene-pool while the Martians slowly succumb to our dirty Earth-germs. |
Me the & the gopher---- in my life story CaddyShack |
How the hell did I get famous??? |
 Robert, the way you have these comments zig-zag back and forth really is very unaesthetically pleasing. This is not a
good thing. |
Return of the Jedi has several. My favorite occurs during the Battle of Endor when Lando Calrissian instructs Admiral
Akbar to have the Rebel fleet move close in on the Imperial fleet to engage at point blank range. This makes it more
difficult for the Death Star to pick off the Rebel ships. |
 Call me old-fashioned but I'm a sucker for a good ol' fashioned bitch slap any day. |
 The fart scene in blazing saddles, that sure turned the tide! Or did they need to use Tide after that, I forget. |
 I always liked the part in Hunt for Red October where they turn into the torpedo and close the gap before the failsafe
has a chance to disable. Then the torpedo just bounce off the front of the sub.
Give me some candy!!! |
The one where I got shot nine times. |
death star exhaust port |
The single exhaust port on the original death star. Whoever designed that should be slapped. |
Throwing a Dwarf onto a bridge that is being attacked by Orcs. |
Mother |
you Robert C. YOU SHALL NOT PASS! |
The tactic you describe from saving private ryan is actually the simplest form of maneuver under fire which is taught to
every private in basic training. the braveheart tactic rocks. the unsafe airbrake maneuver from top gun is one of my
favs though |
 I liked the Pre-Fight Donut tactic that the Ninja Turtles tried in the second movie. If I recall correctly, it
consisted of giving the enemies poisoned donuts before the battle even began. |
 The ultimate "turn the tables" move was in the Karate Kid, when Daniel-san stood on one leg and gave one heck of an ass
whoopin'! |
The trident that is used in the street fighting scene in Anchorman. "Wow, that really got out of hand." |
 The ninjas in Kill Bill 2 come out of the framework to try and kick ass. That rocked.
Jo Frosting Blo |
The curb stomp on American History X. Classic and effective. |
 Okay I'm not sure if this was actually in a movie, but my favorite is the one where Rob Cockerham is surrounded by an
angry, violent mob of Cockeyed dot com readers who are demanding more original website content, and somehow he actually
manages to convince the poor slobs to create their own content for his website. A classic maneuver! Ingenious, I say! |
The part in ghostbusters where they cross the plasma rays. That's the bomb dude. Well maybe not quite "the" bomb, but if
you watch it stoned, it's pretty damn cool. Well, mostly cool anyway. |
 Hey, did you see my action shot? |
 I've always liked the KAPOW! and fake noises as the characters hit each other, since we all know it sounds like that in
real life. |
Just wait till that Gog and Maygog thing, Rob. Bush is the antichrist! |
I'll take swords for 400 dollars! |
Rob, I sure hope you don't eat that crappy theater popcorn...
Hey, am I dead? |
Rob, I could be in a war movie. In fact, I'm so large I could be a whole army. How about a plug for my magazine?
Great name for a magazine, huh? Hey, I'm rich, so I get to choose any letter I want. |
You should have seen the fights in jail. |
 Nancy Pelosi is my twin. But we aren't identical twins. Bush is evil. Ask Nancy. |
 Back before I got so old, I used to be so hot........ |
 I wanted to be named "house". But no, they named me "Jenny". |
You did see me open up a can of whoop-ass, right? |
The Great Satan shall be wiped off the earth soon. Boosh is the antichrist. |
...yes, my sister name Nancy. |
 whoo hoo - men!!! |
I loved the Orcish attack in the Two Towers. Sure they are the bad guys but they were not sent in with mere orders to
mash their forces against the enemy walls. They moved in, and in the carnage of the battle they threw a suicide bomber
at the weakest point of the massive wall, sacrificing a valiant orc, but breaching the wall and turning the tide of the
battle. I wonder if the suicide orc recieved any orcish honeys in the afterlife? |
ahms jusshay iddle druuunk (belch) |
 Thanks, Rob, for remembering me. |
 eee hee hee hee!
where's my broom? |
 any thing to see a photo of Halle Berry... |
Islam is the eighth world power. My name is Hussein. Vote for me! |
 Great site, Rob. All kidding aside, I've seen aliens first hand. You don't want to vote for Hillary. |
I think about how many orgasms are simultaneously occurring on the planet in my movie Amelie.
Talk about a tactic. |
Austria. Little bitty country. |
 In the remake of the movie "Dawn of the Dead" the rag-tag group or stranded mall refugees use equipment available to
them in the mall to construct two battle buses. They plow through zombies armed for long-range attacks with propane
canisters and guns and close rang attacks with barbed wire and chainsaw murder holes. Although, the blonde bimbo
totally gets her American Life ended in a tragic chainsaw mishandling. Still a good idea. |
That one time when I threw that guy into the molten metal. That was pretty sweet |
i am sure someone said this already. but in live free or die hard, with the car & helicopter. not gonna say more and
give it away. |
Death Star |
 In "Waiting for Guffman", Corky takes over the lead male role when young Johnny Savage has to quit.
Oh, and I'm a jerk. |
 The "Flying V" formation in the Mighty Ducks movie was fantastic. |
I'll take the Penis-Mightier for 800, Alex.
Oh and Shaun of the Dead whacking people with a wooden stick and bashing their heads in with a shovel was not so bad. |
 . I'm surprised there are so few of these, considering how many action movies there are out there. It just goes to show
you how rare and awesome these are. . |
The Trojan Rabbit idea first employed in "Monty Python & the Search for the Holy Grail" always seemed like a brilliant
tactic to me. |
It's the same day over and over again! |
One day, Poppie Fields, president of Pop Secret, tried to infiltrate my factory and steal my secret recipe. I left the
front door open, but put a bucket of hot kernels over the top of the doorjam, so when he opened the door, VOILA,
kernels fell into his gaping mouth. I then set him on fire and doused him with hot butter. It was hot, buttery
popcorn everywhere for the 3rd shift workers that night, friend. Good times. |
the giant battle scene in the second narnia book or any fight scene in a dale brown novel. Oh and i am posting this on a
iphone, look up your server logs if you dont believe me! :)
|
 mmm Okay |
 It was always me against everyone. I like those odds. |
In Boondock Saints when Connor and Murphy fall through the ceiling completely tangled in climbing rope so they are
suspended upside down and spinning. Back to back, two pistols each, a spinning chandelier of murderous hilarity.
Oh, and I'm hot. |
In the "Dirty Dozen", during a mock battle, our rag tag group of protaganists infiltrates the enemy HQ by switching
armbands and pretending to be enemy soldiers. |
When Tom Cruise utters the line "You...complete...me" while "Secret Garden" plays softly in the background. Ah! What a
lovely battle scene that was... |
In the HBO series Band of Brothers when one group of soldiers need to relay information to another group in order
initiate an attack on the germans - colonel Spiers gets up and runs through all of the enemy fortifications without
firing a shot. The amazing part, as they say in the movie, is that after he relayed the information, he ran back. |
 Chance the gardener says, "I like to watch . . ." |
 I like the scene in "The Sixth Sense" where the protagonist is battling with his own inner misery. Thinking there is no
way to end his hardship he realizes, along with the audience, that he has been dead the whole time. I am a genius. |
What about MY movie battle tactics?
WHAT ABOUT ME, JAMES FREAKING BOND?!?!
*cries* |
Also in Saving Private Ryan- The Sticky Grenades and cutting off the tanks- yay. |
 In the final Planet of the Apes movie, there's a great scene where the human army waltzes in, looking at legions of
fallen apes strewn about. OR ARE THEY? They were just playing dead. They rise up and totally go apeshit and get all
monkey crazy! |
A the end of Day of the Triffids, the hero squirts sea water on the plant monsters and they dissolve. The solution comes
out of nowhere. Even better is when they find out Slim Whitman music makes the aliens' brains explode at the end of Mars
Attacks! |
Remember when I totally curb stomped that dude in American History X? HAW HAW HAW! |
OK, remember that person you always knew in High School? You know, the "character"? Well, Tim Danielson from Missouri
just wrote a book about one of those guys.Today, we're going to explore this combat question in 3 acts.
ACT 1: If you dream you're going to eat pigs, and wake up in a pool of bacon, is it destiny?
ACT 2: How much is inside an empty man.
ACT 3: Well, you'll have to read Badmouth.net to find out. |
In Empire Strikes Back, the Millenium Falcon is being overtaken by space cruisers and fighters. Outmatched and unable
to run, hero Han Solo decides to move into attack position and charge the leading star destroyer! However, it is only
a ploy. Instead of attacking, the Falcon attaches itself to the enemy cruiser using a docking clamp. Safely hidden,
the fleet abandons the chase and the Falcon drifts away with the rest of the trash. |
GLORY. Not for the ingenuity of the attack, but the heart-wrenching walk through the other troops and the "Give 'em hell
54!" cheer that at last brings them validation. Wow...what a scene. |
Just a note, Ender's Game was a (great) short story before it was a movie. So there. Rockford, IL, wins again! |
 When the Death Star turns out to be fully operational and Admiral Ackbar yells "IT'S A TRAP!" Classic. Also, death to
America. |
remember June 29 2007 when i totally crushed Bill Gates |
There's always the "This is the plane, this is us, that's a rock" scene from "Con Air."
Or when Bruce Willis as John McClaine drops the C-4 down the elevator shaft to take out the rocket launcher in the
first "Die Hard."
Or, me slathering myself with mud to avoid detection by the "Predator." |
Wow, I'm a public figure. Imagine that. |
 Never mind that...who teh @%#@$ am I???? |
During the inter-service football game in M*A*S*H, when the 4077'th took out the other team's best player by sneaking a
syringe into a dogpile.
The old classic "I-just-saw-my friend/kid/spouse/partner-killed-by-the-smirking-bad-guy-and-go-apeshit maneuver.
In "The Princess Bride" when Westley defeats Vizinni by putting iocaine in both glasses. |
Shiver me timbers! |
In Zu--Warriors of Magic Mountain, there is a scene where a guy controls an evil spirit by growing his eyebrows very
long and wrapping them around it. You can find weird tactics like that in many of Tsoi Hark's films. |
For the record, "Ender's Game" is a great novel-not short story- and hasn't been made yet, although it looks like it's
finally gonna happen. How 'bout when my "son" shot the scimitar-wielding swordsman in "Raiders of the Lost Ark?"
Or, better still, when I swam into the enemy nightclub with a duck decoy on my head to avoid detection, and stripped
off my drysuit to reveal a tuxedo? Classy, no? There can be only one, bitches! |
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alert('Hello'); |
dude. in Down Periscope, where they slink their old-ass diesel sub under a cargo ship to get into the harbor... by
slipping under another ship, the enemy radar can't get a fix on em! They then get into the harbor and release a torpedo
just as they themselves get "blown up"... awesome! That whole flick has awesome battle tactics... even the " sing like a
whale scene" is totally ace! |
With a name like Viggo, I never have to battle, I just scare my enemys away by mentioning my name. |
I thought putting the blasting cap in the squirls butt was the best tactic for me. |
"Updated! The Light Sharpener.
Page Eleven!" Yea, that would be hot. |
Bluegrass-Sensimilia with Beer and Rifles are still not enough. Always go with Lots of TNT on the 18th. I think. |
The Three Amigos used all the town's people dressed as the Amigos to put the ki-bosh on El Guapo's tyranny. That's
good, because he brought a plethora of tyranny. |
Throw rocks! Crush skulls! Take women! |
 Battle tactics? Ha! Try to match my failure to deliver Diane Kruger's love note to Josh Hartnett. That's a tactic, baby! |
The sticky bombs in Saving Private Ryan, we put explosive shell in a sock covered with grease. |
The whole film is a battle: Zulu (1964) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058777/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zulu_(film) |
Yes. |
supposedly there's an Ender's Game movie in the works, with the screenplay drawing from several of the books about
Battle School |
it was a short story, then a novel. sweet jesus I had no idea I was such a nerd. |
When do we get Light Sharpener, page 11? |
In Monty Python and The Holy Grail, the deployment of The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch against the rabbit of Caerbannog
most certainly ranks divinely high on the list of best battle tactics in Movies. Actually, this event really
happened. |
I would like to show her a light sharpener... |
Shotgun rifle and a 4-wheel drive.
Country boy can survive! |
 Sanjaya (Sanskrit: संजय, sanjaya) is a character from the ancient Indian epic Mahabharata. In this story of
warring families, the father of the principals of the Kaurava side is the blind king Dhritarashtra. His advisor and
hence also his charioteer Sanjaya (who has the gift of seeing events at a distance granted by the rishi Vyasa) narrates
to Dhritarshtra the action in the climactic battle of ...more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanjaya |
Me and Burt Reynolds drunk. Together. Now there's a fight, my friend. |