When I get old, and spend my afternoons in a rocking chair in front of Web 1.0, my grand-bots will scramble up to me and ask me questions about life in the old days. "Grandpa Rob?" They'll ask, "What was it like to go tanning?" "Well", I'll tell them. "It was great, definitely a fun thing to do. Back then, of course, we didn't know about the risks". I'll continue. "Tanned skin was associated with health and well-being, not wrinkles and skin cancer. Tanning salons even advertised that Vitamin UV helped prevent diseases like diabetes and syphilis." Of course, I'll be lying. Last summer, Stacy and I planned to conduct a little experiment. We wanted to compare real tanning with tan-in-a-can. Real tanning came first. We drove around town looking for a convenient tanning salon close to our house. There were a few, so we compared prices, cleanliness and the number of tanning beds available. It was a lot like searching for a laudromat. We really didn't want to have to wait for an empty machine. Come to think of it, at a laudromat, you put your clothes into the machine, and at a tanning salon, you put your unclothed body into different machine! Someone really ought to combine the two. It didn't take long to choose Rae's Body Craze. We signed up for three months unlimited tanning for $89 each. Kids under 5 are free, so we didn't have to pay for our infant June. Rae's is a small place, with five tanning beds, one express bed, and one stand-up tanning booth. They had a comfortable couch in the waiting area, where either Stacy or I could sit with June while the other was tanning. When we signed up, they let us know that they did not allow just any tanning lotion. Only the lotion that was sold at the salon was to be used. Protective goggles were also required, but each of us got a free pair with our three-month paid-membership. The "only our lotion" policy seemed a little ridiculous, but I've heard this is true across the industry. The premise that "your no-name brand lotion could damage our tanning beds" will go untested. My brain was already having trouble processing the logic behind wearing tanning lotion to a tanning salon, and hearing that I'd have to buy the salon's boutique brand lotion was enough to shut down my cerebral spending centers completely. The day after we bought our membership, Stacy, June and I took some "before" photos and headed out to get a tan! Tanning is easy. Here is the routine: Show up and check in at the counter, and tell them how many minutes of exposure you want. They set a timer, and tell you what booth is yours. You enter the booth, lock the door and strip down to your tattoos and goggles. Turn on the fans. Hit the ON button and watch the bed explode with the light from 1000 suns. Lay down in the giant electrical clamshell. When you wake, the pod will open, and you will be 100 light-years away, high above an abandoned mining planet. Use the controls inside the bed to close the lid. In theory, if there is a blackout, the lid will open automatically. Do not think about that escape pod scene from Alien. Panic. When inside, you'll be treated to an audio track, featuring George Forman. He will introduce you to some of the features of your tanning bed. Not even the most compulsive workaholic can get anything accomplished inside of a tanning bed, so you might as well relax. (unless you are working on a website article) bake until an inserted toothpick comes out cleanly. When your pre-set time expires, the bed will shut off automatically and the lid will pop open. Get dressed. Mop up any sweat you left behind on the plastic surface of the tanning bed. (Optional). Stroll out as if you weren't just naked as a lark three minutes ago. Being naked, clamped up in a giant high-powered humming clamshell can be a little unnerving, particularly if you have never dated Anna Nicole. The walls of the booths were tall, just short of the ceiling, and the doors had locks. It felt very private. All but one of the rooms had nice full-length mirrors. The caramel color of the paint in the rooms was so odd that Stacy surmised that it must be a tan-enhancing color. Music was piped in They recommended that Stacy and I each start with 8 minutes, and slowly work our way up, so that our skin could build up a little protection from burning. They kept a log of how many minutes each client endured on each visit. This scoring was helpful, but there was no prize for breaking their maximum exposure record. The vast majority of their clients purchased three or six-month memberships. One booth was equipped with extra-powerful "express" bulbs. After we had each built up a little tan, we cautiously tried a few minutes in the express bed. True to its name, it only took 6-8 minutes. Stacy and I both had to work to avoid odd pale patches on our skin. A little less UV light was hitting our sides, and the tops of my shoulders were fairly pale. OKAY NOT OKAY Sitting Meditation Praying Ipods Lotion Sweating Snoring YogaTan Body Shots Tribbles Recreating scene from Lil Shoppe of Horrors Giving a Ulogy. Casual Encounters Magnifying Glass horticulture tanning burning charring sunstroking Two or three times a week we visited the tanning salon. We got to know the small staff, and started to recognize a few of the other patrons. I had assumed that tanning clients would be almost exclusively women, but men seemed to be about 25% of the clientelle. We were extremely wary of sunburns. The salon didn't want us to burn, and we didn't want to burn, but everybody wanted to see results in a hurry. The first day of tanning we went in for eight minutes each. When you leave the tanning booth, you can tell that your skin is working. You are a little hot, and just a little fatigued. We went home and waited to see if we overdid it. Nope. My skin felt a little tight, but didn't look pink at all. Stacy felt very little effect at all, and decided to try upping her dose. From wikipadeio Darkening of the skin is caused by an increase or release of the pigment melanin into the skin's cells after exposure to ultraviolet radiation. Melanin is produced by cells called melanocytes and protects the body from absorbing an excess of solar radiation, which can be harmful. A study by Mandeep Kaur, M.D., and others, published in the July 2004 issue of the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology, Part 1, suggests that indoor sun tanning may be addictive. Ultraviolet light stimulates the production of endorphins (through the production of Vitamin D), resulting in a natural sensation of well-being. Rob Cockerham Web Editor, EDS/Medi-Cal Publications 916-852-4963 robert.cockerham@eds.com CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This email from EDS is for the sole use of the intended recipient and may contain confidential and privileged information. Any unauthorized review or use, including disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender and destroy all copies of the email.