Aluminum Foil

How much aluminum foil is in a roll? Well, 200 square feet, it says so right on the box. But what if you are trying to wrap a large amount of food? How many rolls should you buy? We were not sure, so on Saturday, we cracked open a new roll, and tried to cover my entire car.
We couldn't exploit foil's unique wrap-around adhesion properties, so we were forced to use tape to get started on the hood. Everyone helped, Marc, Kara, Chuck, Mike, James and Ambur.Actually, Kara didn't help at all, she just stood around, and Leif asserts that he WOULD have helped, but that he had to go to work.

We carefully covered the top and sides of the car, followed by the bumpers and wheels. Mark paid special attention to the antenna and wiper-blades. It took a long time, with everyone pulling aluminum off of the same roll. This episode of "How Much is Inside" took place outside in the open, exposing my delicate research to public scrutiny. I took the opportunity to promote cockeyed.com. I may need to develop some promotional materials if this exposure continues.



Suddenly it became obvious why the Delorean sports car was such a sensation: The car looked awesome! I busied myself with stretching the end of the aluminum while my co-horts devised plans to get the car up to 88 miles per hour at the precise moment we applied the 300 Gigawatts of power to the flux capacitor. We had just enough aluminum to cover the body of the car, and 3 of the tires. About 5 square feet short of covering the last wheel, we were out of foil. We didn't have any foil left to build the rear mounted "anti-spoiler". We should have tried a smaller car. A nice '74 bug perhaps would have been nicely covered in foil, safe from bird droppings and freezer burn.
Anyway, we came pretty close, and you now know how much is inside. I am going to leave the car wrapped for one year, filled with rare foodstuffs and survival equipment for the millenium crisis. I will use this car to travel the barren irradiated plains in search of the precious juice, fighting roving bands of brigands with my crossbow. I'll be OK...as long as my camera works.

Epilogue

Ah, Crap!






1999 Cockeyed.com | Last Updated March, 1999

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