I think that it is better to be caught minimizing the screen than to be caught just blatantly reading thesneeze...just as you are better off hitting the brakes when you see the highway patrol. Simon Cowell Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:04 am

alt-tab 50 Cent Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:24 am

I work in an assisted living home and there's a computer lab for the residents--silly management! Old people can't use computers! So it's always empty. Except for me... Tim McGraw Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:43 am

I oftn catch my other half surfing for porn, in fact we are doing an up coming show about it , (shhh he doesnt know yet ) Dr Phils Wife Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:45 am

It doesn't matter...props on the ColdFusion 4.0 book on that monitor Bill Murray Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:53 am

An office? What's that? Is that like, a place to get the ice off? Whatever, sounds hot. Evil Paris Hilton Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:56 am

In my office we have a code that is strictly followed in refrence to our at work private browsing. Some might even call them "Commandments". Charleton Heston Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:00 am

I made it with the nanny and no one cared, what's the big deal with a little private surfing? Jude Law Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:03 am

I'd just bash the computers in a random office and see how many people try to stop me. That would settle their problems and give me more great jackass footage! Johnny Knoxville Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:07 am

Oh, first that stupid insurance company and now you? I know, "Private web browsing at work-- So easy a cameman can do it." Caveman Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:10 am

I just deny it... or get in my car and slowly drive away. OJ Simpson Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:12 am

That's the thing about cyber-space, no props to make up for my lack of humor. Carrot Top Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:15 am

Just use me, stupid! D: Iphone Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:21 am

asnhufwughaeRUog;ariewjgi;refgarfgjiefrnhlraen (Get it? I'm too drunk to type.) Lindsey Lohan Wednesday 25th of July 2007 4:11 am

I keel anyone who doesnt let me use da internet at work. Arnold Shwarzenegger Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:43 am

When I get caught, I merely turn around, flash them my sexy, boyishly cute face, and all is forgotten. In some cases, I have to help them make pottery. Patrick Swayze Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:44 am

Wow, Patrick, you got old. I just offer to s*ck off my boss if he catches me watching porn at work... I mean surfing the internet. Andy Dick Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:45 am

Hovercraft Orville Redenbacher Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:48 am

I have to VNC to my machine at home so I can get to websites that are otherwise blocked by our firewall at work. Hulk Hogan Wednesday 25th of July 2007 6:28 am

I'm lucky because I work with a web admin team who need to upload lots of things on to an internet site. They get there own standalone broadband connected computer which is just next to my desk = no proxy + lots of private browsing. (Make sure you delete your history, kids!) Sharon Osbourne Wednesday 25th of July 2007 6:37 am

Get an iPhone... you can surf the web without using your computer... Duh. All the cool cavemen do it. Caveman Wednesday 25th of July 2007 6:58 am

My computer is positioned so that I can see anyone coming into or even near my cubicle. When anyone is making tracks to... *click* David Duchovny Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:13 am

My employer monitors all web access and sends my boss a monthly report. The good news is that I work from home, so I just keep a second computer on-line that's not connected to the company's VPN. Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:19 am

The quick 'Windows Logo+M' and auto-minimized taskbar works for me. My desk is semi-private (I sit in a hallway), and I can hear people coming and minimize the screen to 'look busy'. Another computer I use is so public I have to resize the browsing window so small and wide that I can only see one line at a time and implement a small mirror to check behind me. Patrick Swayze Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:27 am

I keep the resolution so low on my monitors that no one over 30 can read them Woody Allen Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:36 am

With ninja! Charleton Heston Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:37 am

It was horrible.. my work had my cube backed to an alley where my manager walked past. Then we merged & moved & now I have the back back cubicle.. and all kinds of browsing privacy. I suggest merger's to anyone! Cardinal Alexandre do Nascimento Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:48 am

With extreme terror. Christopher Walken Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:50 am

Srufing? Waht? Britney Spears Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:53 am

Coldfusion 4.0? What is this, the dark ages? Mimi Rogers Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:54 am

I'm at work right now. Go figure. As long as the work is getting done and there are no adult sites onscreen, the boss doesn't seem to mind. Dytek Guy Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:00 am

I shut my office door. Smarty Jones Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:09 am

On the Andy Griffith show, Don Knotts was always watching youtube videos on his iphone while we were rolling film. Andy would start yelling at him when he screwed up the take. I don't know how much time we wasted because of that. Ron Howard Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:26 am

I fashion a computer and monitor out of my water bottle, a flint, and the clothes on my back. Bear Grylls Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:39 am

I, for one, spend a LOT of time updating my blog. You may have read it? It's really good! I AM NOT A ONE-TRICK PONY. Tell your friends! Since I don't have any work or workplace, this is not an issue. Wil Wheaton Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:40 am

I fire them!! Donald Trump Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:42 am

I just spend the morning getting my boss drunk/high/both, allowing a worry-free porn-filled afternoon. Martha Stewart Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:44 am

No one cares at my office. Literally. No one. Bono Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:51 am

Damn I'm hot! Amanda Bynes Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:58 am

We're not allowed on computers down at the dianetics lab. Problem solved. Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:00 am

As you can see from visiting chrismeloni.com, my normal facial expression looks very unfriendly. So no one would mess with me. Also, I have serious daddy issues. Visit chrismeloni.com, everybody! Christopher Meloni Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:00 am

Arr. Have them maties drink some of me Rum. Arr! Captain Morgan Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:01 am

My bosses put up a proxy server so we can only visit "approved" sites related to work. Fortunately, if you make friendly with a manager, they'll disable the proxy for you. Avril Levine Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:04 am

WebSense gets rid of all the fun stuff. Hulk Hogan Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:07 am

I have my desk just so that the monitor would be facing away from the door to my office. I often have a separate window up with entertainment pages and then alt-tab to the other window I have up with work stuff if someone comes in. It helps to hide your toolbar so that if they walk around your desk for something, they can't glance and see the other pages open or the title of said pages. Ron Howard Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:08 am

I simply browse the web under the guise of looking for someone's phone number in my contacts list. Brilliant! Iphone Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:09 am

The alt-tab combination to toggle from the wonders of cockeyed.com to the drudgery of an excel spreadsheet. Gandalf the Grey Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:11 am

If everyone does it, it gains acceptance. Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:11 am

It is played with ferocity at my job - and i am winning. haza! Sidenote though: i work in technology and am friendly with our ISA (internet security) guy. Which throws in an interesting wrench in this game. He can easily check the logs to see how much time we spend surfing the web. And occasionally does so just to be a douche. Nicole Ritchie Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:16 am

I got all the time in the world to surf since I just keep losing all my business to Dytek! :-/ Dytek Guy Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:18 am

Suck it. Bill Murray Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:19 am

My monitor faces away from my door. Alt Tab is the master. Keep a excel spreadsheet open at all times. Natalie Portman Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:23 am

in my office... if i find somebody not doing there job... i give them busters job. Adam Savage Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:31 am

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???? Lindsey Lohan Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:33 am

No worries when you only have a flint, a small knife and only your survival skills from being in the British Special Forces. If anyone sees me minimizing some illegal content in my office, I usually sinch my shoelaces together and slip up a nearby tall file cabinet and wait it out till nightfall Bear Grylls Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:42 am

Mouse gestures allow for easy one hand minimizing of windows without even looking at the screen =) Bill Murray Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:50 am

I distract everyone with an annoying lisp and magic. Criss Angel Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:59 am

*Waves hand* These are not the Internets you are looking for. They can go about their business. Move along Alec Guinness Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:03 am

What's a Internet? Britney Spears Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:07 am

It's actually funny, because as I was reading this post I had to "disguise" what I was reading as someone walked by. My usual method is to quickly scroll to the bottom of the screen, which normally contains innocuous text and no large pictures that give away the fact that I'm reading something that is not work-related. In this case, some banner ads and a comments box. Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:14 am

Is browsing kinda like shopping? Tara Reid Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:16 am

I programmed an extra button on my mouse to minimize the screem. Makes for a quick hide. Oh wait, I'm the president of Viacom. I can surf whenever I damn well please! Philippe Dauman Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:30 am

My office has been slowly and methodically shifted over the course of several years until the monitor is at the perfect angle for private viewing. Natalie Portman Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:33 am

I don't work. That's hot. Evil Paris Hilton Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:46 am

With a Mac, pressing command + H will hide almost any program, but certainly your internet browser. This, combined with the ever useful hand mirror hanging on your wall behind the monitor (for checking your hair of course) is most effective in allowing you to read comics.com in its entirety every day. Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:56 am

The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show and see if she likes the goods. Will Farrell Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:59 am

At my old job i closed down a window until it was only one text line of the smallest text possible for my browser, removed the browser and bookmarks toolbar and just read the entirety of Wikipedia. People in the Cubicles next to me could only see the top of my monitor unless the stood on tippy toes, and even then I don't think they knew what was at the bottom of my screen Shia Labeouf Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:04 am

I can look at wutever I want at my crib. I really love playing "Shoot The Rapper". 50 Cent Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:14 am

Go to workFriendly.net, people! I am really shocked more people do not use this tool. You enter a URL and it opens the page a separate window that looks like a Word Doc. Plain text, no photos (not very helpful for youTube addicts). But keep in mind: You can visually hide your browsing, but IT usually knows who is online all the time. But, you should try to actually browse less, y'all. Britney Spears Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:24 am

There is a $25 solution to this problem: http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/codergoodies/76ed/ Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:27 am

HOWHGUUBAHGWAAH!! Oprah Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:29 am

What I did was stop going to work. That seemed to solve a LOT of problems. I'm THE IPHONE! LOOK AT ME!!!!!! SOMEONE KILL ME Iphone Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:31 am

Dammit, why can't I check Cockeyed.com while at work, so long as I'm getting everything I need to DONE??? Is Internet use the ONLY metric managers care about? Bill Murray Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:33 am

I went with a social, not technological, solution. I'm the system administrator and tech support contact for my office, and I've casually mentioned getting support from certain bulletin boards and that I keep up on needed knowledge with certain news sites. Now, every site I visit that's got a fair bit of text is assumed to be some in-depth technical discussion, not a timesink. Telly Savales Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:42 am

Use Lynx. If you're an engineer, the text-only browser looks sort of like you're reading a man page. I need to use your imagination for sites like utube, though. Bono Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:44 am

Hey. I brought sexy back. You can't ask me to fix all the problems. Justin Timberlake Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:44 am

Last session I passed a bill that makes the browsing histories of congresspersons available for scrutiny and public viewing. I do not care what my fellow public servants do, because their viewing habits will be seen by millions of American citizens and it will be their own fault for doing something that jeopardizes their position. I also like Obama Girl. Barack Obama Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:52 am

I installed Messenger Plus! along with my MSN Messenger so I can just press CTRL-SPACE and all the chat windows are minimized to a discreet icon by the clock. For browsing the web, I keep my work maximized in the background and my browser window small so if I have to I just click anywhere to the side of the browser and presto - my work screen Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:56 am

In the end, the boss realizes that he is the one surfing the web at work, and fires himself. What a twist! M Night Shymalayan Wednesday 25th of July 2007 12:03 pm

Evil Paris Hilton Wednesday 25th of July 2007 12:04 pm

Flashes of minimized facebook, warning courtesy of the wall length mirror mounted horizontally across my cube wall. David Beckham Wednesday 25th of July 2007 12:07 pm

I sit behind my boss, so I can see what's on her screen, but she can't see what's on mine. I can also see whenever she's getting up, so I can change focus. Woody Allen Wednesday 25th of July 2007 12:14 pm

Nobody cares, I browse all day. Arnold Shwarzenegger Wednesday 25th of July 2007 12:35 pm

Another...productive employee... stolen by cockeyed? Dytek Guy Wednesday 25th of July 2007 12:50 pm

How about actually working at work & saving the internet browsing for personal time. Wednesday 25th of July 2007 12:55 pm

Fuck you Verizion, T-Mobile, Sprint and all the others! NONE of you can have me! Neh neh! Iphone Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:00 pm

Allah be praised for his blessings of Alt-Tab. Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:14 pm

I simply look on a lot of women with lust and commit adultery **in my heart**. Many times... And no, I don't wan't to hear that joke about how I'm like the Key Bridge. Jimmy Carter Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:16 pm

Nyah...! I know that joke... You and the Key Bridge both go in and out if Rosslyn!!! Nyah! Pinko liberal commie shack builder! Dick Cheney Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:18 pm

I distract 'em with a shiny lollypop and a suave "Who loves ya, baby?" Then I shout "Stavros!!! Crockah!!" Telly Savales Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:21 pm

I repositioned my monitor so it can only barely be seen by passers-by. The Harry Potter book is kept on my knees with an open file on my desk. Wil Wheaton Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:21 pm

I happen to work at home, so no hiding when I'm reading cockeyed.com, my favorite part of the internet. One Ping Only! Sean Connery Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:23 pm

Alt-tab is your friend. Adnan Pachachi Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:24 pm

I have belly button lint Mohammad Al-Baradei Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:27 pm

I actually DID look at Cockeyed at work a few years ago. They gave me nothing to do all day, so, I didn't hide my web-surfing. I had to do something to keep my brain from frying. Hey, it's better than sleeping on the job! Wednesday 25th of July 2007 1:56 pm

I always make sure to have a spreadsheet I can alt-tab over to so my boss doesn't catch me stabbing people. OJ Simpson Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:07 pm

You should never alt tb out of my webite, christophermeloni.com, where you can actually buy an official christopermeloni.com t-shirt, key chain, bucket hat, baseball cap and tote bag. Christoper Meloni Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:34 pm

This isn't the website I'm looking for. Alec Guinness Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:44 pm

Magic! Daniel Radcliffe Wednesday 25th of July 2007 2:56 pm

in soviet russia, internet browses you when boss isnt looking Woody Allen Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:02 pm

windows button + d, whenever the shop master comes near. i know i should be sewing the nikes, but i need to know how my myspace friends are doing. Barack Obama Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:08 pm

i'm johnny knoxville, welcome to the internets. *football to the groin* Johnny Knoxville Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:10 pm

I changed the color scheme of my yahoo mail to match my corporate email, so from a distance it looks like work. But I pretty much gave up on trying to pretend I wasn't websurfing at work... it's much more embarrassing to guiltily close a non-work window when someone arrives than to simply leave it open since everyone knows you're surfing anyway. Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:12 pm

The keystroke capturing program installed on all the work computers also takes intermittent screenshots of the desktop for total information awareness. Also, death squads. Muqtada al-Sadr Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:18 pm

Since I'm in a cubicle, I have no privacy. So I just try to listen for people approaching and minimize the window in time. I'm sure everyone knows what I'm up to. Mark Grudzielanek Wednesday 25th of July 2007 3:57 pm

I'm freakin' Hans Blix! Who's got the stones to bust me for looking at gay midget snuff films on the Internet? Do you think you're big enough to take on the Blix-krieg? Bring it on, and I'll make you my BITCH! Hans Blix Wednesday 25th of July 2007 4:00 pm

Often the Father will catch me surfing. I have the monitor facing away from him but he can see through anything with his omnipotent vision. That and the Holy Spirit constantly rats me out. -Jesus Christ Wednesday 25th of July 2007 4:08 pm

Work at home, baby! Adam Sandler Wednesday 25th of July 2007 4:23 pm

I browse the internet constantly from the moment I arrive until the moment I leave, for months. Then I spend a frantic few days catching up to where I ought to be, and hand in a slapdash work product that is nowhere near the quality I am capable of, but at least at the level of quality of my co-workers. My boss lives in a different country and can't tell. Bear Grylls Wednesday 25th of July 2007 4:45 pm

I'd go lose my mind if I couldn't surf at work. Well, that is, if I hadn't already lost it. Dick Cheney Wednesday 25th of July 2007 4:46 pm

Hi Ya'll, on my Mac computer, option+click on desktop hides the top program pretty fast. Or I click on F11 and "slide" the browser off to the side. Thanks Ya'll Britney Spears Wednesday 25th of July 2007 4:55 pm

Tabbed browsing + iGoogle! - Amanda Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:32 pm

I work in an office all by myself. I'm going to be happy the day I finally get an assistant (I need it, my filing is going to fall over and kill me one day.) But I'm mourn my freewheelin' internet surfin' days Stephen Cujocaro Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:44 pm

At my job it is fine to do whatever I please on the internet.... That is as long as I help patrons if there are any in the lab. Britney Spears Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:47 pm

My boss moved me to a corner where the big boss can't observe my surfing habits. Smarty Jones Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:52 pm

Working for the Federal Government, it's actually incredibly easy to slack off and surf the internet. I would say i waste at least 30% of the day, and I'm one of the responsible ones. Bill Murray Wednesday 25th of July 2007 5:58 pm

God Dammit Debbie! Get off this page and get back to work!! Willem Dafoe Wednesday 25th of July 2007 6:01 pm

I always use tabbed browsing and will alwyas have at least one tab opened to a professional organisation or supplier website, allowing quick fire transition from facebook to "burger King America" in no time Elvis Wednesday 25th of July 2007 6:09 pm

A few years ago at school we got to work in the computer lab for some project for around two weeks and everybody was done a lot quicker than that. I ended up making a webpage with the top half being something copied from a website related to the topic, and the bottom half being an embedded frame which I'd use to do my browsing in. Donald Trump Wednesday 25th of July 2007 6:40 pm

The computer in the hatch doesn't get internet. All we get to do is type in numbers. 4...8...15..16...23...42... Josh Halloway Wednesday 25th of July 2007 6:46 pm

Myspace was actually a blocked site from my place of employment. Luckily one of the engineers thought it was bull and unblocked it for us after a month... no one has caught on yet and its been a year Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:17 pm

If i wasted time on sites like that, i would view sites like myspace, snopes, and cockeyed. OJ Simpson Wednesday 25th of July 2007 7:43 pm

I don't have an office, y'know why? because i'm rich. Bono Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:00 pm

I'm feeling this, friend. My monitor faces the window of the Pope and dammit, I feel like a cad when I'm searching NAMBLA. I just district the old guy by IMing him links to nunsgonewild.com and the church of fudge. Cardinal Roger Etchegaray Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:10 pm

I do that too...but with books. Douglas Kuchinich Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:41 pm

My desk is right out in the bullpen, so I have to rely on a combo of savvy screen angling, constant awareness of office-mate whereabouts and movement, and lightning-fast minimizing reflexes. King Tut Wednesday 25th of July 2007 8:54 pm

I make the browser window really small and place it near the bottom of the monitor - just big enough to read a column of text a few lines at a time... that way there are no graphics or ads to give me away, and my actual work is taking up the majority of the screen. No one notices if I just click on the already maximized window behind it when I hear them coming by. As far as I know!!! Barack Obama Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:07 pm

In my office we shoot slackers who dink around on the internet. Charleton Heston Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:28 pm

with swords and crossbows Captain Morgan Wednesday 25th of July 2007 9:40 pm

HAIRSPRAY BIOTCHES!!!1! Amanda Bynes Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:14 pm

Um... what was the point of this entry? Really... it went nowhere really fast. Bill Murray Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:20 pm

my boss doesnt care cause i was in prison and im a whore Lindsey Lohan Wednesday 25th of July 2007 10:50 pm

,nnbhvg Abdel-Aziz Al-Hakim Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:11 pm

my boss has software installed that monitors our internet usage and if we are fucking around while we are on the clock he gets mad and yells at us. dont have time to browse the internet anyways, as there is too much work to do. tell those slackers who fuck around on myspace etc to get back to work or come help me out with mine. Britney Spears Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:36 pm

What would I know about that? We have slaves, not workers. If the slaves slack off once, they get whipped; twice, they get 40 lashes; and at the third, they loose the privilege of being mummified alive with the pharaoh. King Tut Wednesday 25th of July 2007 11:37 pm

what's a computer? Britney Spears Thursday 26th of July 2007 12:12 am

I was front desk help at a university and because I had access to student files, my computer monitor was under my desk, and my desk had a window in it that showed the monitor at an angle that only I could see it, so students would be asking me for help and I would be pretending to listen to them while I was really surfing the net or playing games online! Amanda Bynes Thursday 26th of July 2007 12:15 am

Doesn't matter, I'm all alone in the office, and haven't much work to do. Elvis Thursday 26th of July 2007 12:20 am

I don't own a computer... for Africa. Bono Thursday 26th of July 2007 12:24 am

Surf the Web? I can't even spell my own name, apparently! Arnold Shwarzenegger Thursday 26th of July 2007 1:35 am

I thought my name was Dennis? This is what happens when prying eyes make me rush through my daily surf... Douglas Kuchinich Thursday 26th of July 2007 1:36 am

I think that Adolf Hitler really needs to be added to the celebrity Comments sections. I'm sure he would like to chime in on some of these discussions. Rachel Ray Thursday 26th of July 2007 1:57 am

Hey Schwartzengeezer, why don't you stop reading Rob's site and sign the Colifornia budget? Eh? How about that? Edward Furlong Thursday 26th of July 2007 1:59 am

Well. Our school computer lab is sort of the same. It's generally known that if you have lots of internet sites open at once, they'll group into one category known as 'Internet Explorer,' so if you build up like 6 or 7 the teacher won't be able to see what you're looking at. The school firewall is pretty easy to hack, too. Generally if you Google the code its the first thing that pops Barack Obama Thursday 26th of July 2007 2:36 am

In the last job I had with web access we were told that yes, there was access, and that we'd be fired if we ever used it. I'm ashamed to say that although I doubted their ability to detect net use (they seemed fairly clueless) I was too cowardly to test it *hangs head*. Bill Murray Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:15 am

All outside websites are banned if they are deemed not-related to work issues. So of course everyone uses their I-Phones instead. Regis Philbin Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:21 am

We shoot out the monitors, then shoot the offender. Guns are gud! Yay America and guns! More massacres weekly, all in the name of "the right to bear arms". Charlton Heston and the NRA are a bunch of fucking idiots. Charleton Heston Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:23 am

Mmmmmmm Cookies. And it's DeNiro by the way. Robert De Nero Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:27 am

I just wiggle my butt and jiggle my boobies. Jennifer Tilly Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:27 am

I borrowed the force from this little green dude, so it changes the screen automatically. Hey, anyone else notice that I've been playing the character from Regarding Henry so long, it's become me? Harrison Ford Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:29 am

beyond a shadow of a doubt, I am the least funniest man in the world. Carrot Top Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:30 am

HOLY CRAP, I'm a freak! Cher Thursday 26th of July 2007 5:27 am

I run the IT department down here in Hell (yeah, really... Hell. Who'd have thought?) and we intentionally block a single website beyond our standard parental controls: MySpace. Fucking MySpace is the scourge of the internet. Facebook is getting pretty damn obnoxious too. We may have to make that our #2. Alec Guinness Thursday 26th of July 2007 5:31 am

It's played out just like you said, infidel. Barack Obama Thursday 26th of July 2007 7:15 am

I go out looking for real moles to run down. Danica Patrick Thursday 26th of July 2007 7:18 am

Alt - Tab is the key. Keep your fingers positioned on those keys at all times. Also, hitting random keys to simulate the sounds of typing works well. Wil Wheaton Thursday 26th of July 2007 7:23 am

Mike Gravel is a crazy old coot. Douglas Kuchinich Thursday 26th of July 2007 7:33 am

I use a stealth switch when I can't hide my screen. Works great, but you may not want to tell all your co-workers - when someone walks in and everyone clicks a switch people get a little suspicious. http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/accessories/76ed/ Willem Dafoe Thursday 26th of July 2007 7:57 am

I make sure that my monitor never faces the door. In fact a few supervisors/coworkers comment that they know I do this so they can't see what I am doing! But as I am the highest-level geek in the office, I know they will never bother to do anything about it, let alone try to monitor my web surfing ways. DSL has enabled me to compress an hour of goofing off into like, 10 minutes though! Caveman Thursday 26th of July 2007 8:10 am

CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Daniel Radcliffe Thursday 26th of July 2007 9:22 am

With no hiding! I have a basement office and fly completely under the radar! I used to be exposed to anyone walking by and was bitched at for playing solitaire on my lunch hour. Gandalf the White Thursday 26th of July 2007 9:37 am

Tina's here -- we're getting back together! Caveman Thursday 26th of July 2007 9:40 am

I'm a lesbian! Ann Heche Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:13 am

My boss is a fucking moron so I don't even remotely try to hide the fact that 90% of my time is spent doing absolutely nothing. I am a drone. Thank god for higher education. Caveman Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:16 am

I have a mirror that faces behind me to watch the door. Christopher Walken Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:41 am

I am a professional window-minimizer so I have no problems with this. Sanjaya Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:44 am

no problems - when you're a billionaire with a blog, you can surf for anything you want. Mark Cuban Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:44 am

Funny that you should mention this, it's a daily conflict here on the anthill that I work at. I am typing this into a blank email, later to be copied and pasted into your comments section in a "less than a minute" in and out of the web routine that I am perfecting. On a slow workday, I unapologetically hit my news sites (national, local, and hometown) for updates about 4 times a days, no more than 5 minutes a session. On a busy workday, it's pretty much headlines only. Then there is the one site that could get me canned (the content can be racey sometimes) if not careful, Marksfriggin.com, that posts a detailed synopsis of that day's Howard Stern show. What can I say, I'm still invested in that show after all these years and don't have to pay for Sirius by reading Mark's retelling. Besides, I have to work phones and can't use headphones even if I could listen. I try to read it at lunch to avoid wasting time, but sometimes have to do it at other times. To read it, I work that in the opposite direction of what I am doing with this post. I copy what I want to read on the web and paste it into an email, making sure to delete the adds and pictures so it looks like a regular email containing regular workflow. I've done this on lengthy news stories before as well. that is about as clandestine as I get. I just hope the company isn't reading this now. Elvis Thursday 26th of July 2007 11:14 am

I think a mirror is too obvious. I have tried using the silver side of a diet pepsi can, but it is too small and the fisheye effect is a little too extreme. I need something silver and flat. Maybe a wedding picture frame, or a light sharpener. Mark Burnett Thursday 26th of July 2007 12:37 pm

Steal from work because work is stealing from you! David Duchovny Thursday 26th of July 2007 12:46 pm

Hey Rob, I just thought I would let you know that even though I am without question a huge lesbian, even I cannot resist your sexiness. Avril Levine Thursday 26th of July 2007 12:59 pm

I create a fort from my wife's burka and place it over the monitor and my head- like an old picture photographer Ibrahim Al-Jaafari Thursday 26th of July 2007 1:19 pm

Yes I play with myself in my office all the time. Wait, what was the question? Minnie Driver Thursday 26th of July 2007 1:55 pm

I played a lesbian, it was really hot! Jennifer Tilly Thursday 26th of July 2007 1:57 pm

I've had my web site "Hillary_goatse.cx" up for almost a year and I haven't had one hit. I blame a vast right wing conspiracy. Hilary Clinton Thursday 26th of July 2007 2:18 pm

You folks do know, that regardless if others can see your screen, the sys admins know exactly where've you've been, right? Don't go to any site that you would not freely admit to. Telly Savales Thursday 26th of July 2007 2:19 pm

the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material. What? Sen Stevens already said that? Michael Moore Thursday 26th of July 2007 2:24 pm

One word: http://www.workfriendly.net/ Bill O'Reilly Thursday 26th of July 2007 2:47 pm

When I'm at work usually I'm hacking into Alex Trebek's Myspace, Everytime I'm caught it is by a very attractive woman. After she 'teaches me a lesson' I'll vacate the scene with my suitcase that turns into a gyrochopper. Sean Connery Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:06 pm

I have been known to club folks who catch me peeking at PENTCAVE while I'm supposed to be underwriting these damned insurance policies. Caveman Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:13 pm

I don't know, but I am replying from my work computer. Angela Kinsey Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:17 pm

Always make sure your chair faces the door, and your monitor doesn't. Clear your history and cache with regularity. Be very proficient with keyboard commands, especially minimizing. If you're subtle, which I'm not, you can hit those while you're standing to greet the person coming into the office. Woody Allen Thursday 26th of July 2007 3:25 pm

Alt-Tab Baby! Hans Blix Thursday 26th of July 2007 4:10 pm

It's all out in the open! Cardinal Roger Etchegaray Thursday 26th of July 2007 4:27 pm

Lucky for me, I managed to move from a communal 4-seater cubicle (if you can call it that) into a vacant office to work on a very important project (that was almost 2 years ago). I made sure my desk faced the internal glass walls. Since I use Opera, I keep my hands ready to press CTRL+H in case of visitors. Neil Patrick Harris Thursday 26th of July 2007 6:19 pm

I'm the IT Guy. I win. Patrick Stewart Thursday 26th of July 2007 6:48 pm

generally, Dwight takes care of this time wasting activity in our office. He will make all offenders run laps until they apologize. He does let me look up pictures of babies playing musical instruments though....he's sweet. Angela Kinsey Thursday 26th of July 2007 7:03 pm

I just levitate while I'm surfing for porn at work, that way all eyes are on me and not on the monitor. Criss Angel Thursday 26th of July 2007 7:29 pm

I just make sure I send all of the good sites to my boss. Then he can't get onto me for looking at them when I know he does too. Melinda Gates Thursday 26th of July 2007 8:03 pm

This better not be going on. Thursday 26th of July 2007 8:04 pm

My boss put in a wicked filter on our server and makes us submit in writing why we need to go to any website. Fascist. Bill Richardson Thursday 26th of July 2007 9:29 pm

Scourge of the earth, you who waste time on Satan's internet. May the flees of a thousand camels infest your armpits. Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:20 pm

I'll send you a new photo - I'm with the KC Royals now. If you ever get to listen to a game on the Royals Radio Network (the largest in the American League), sometimes you would think that I'm the first female major leaguer. One of the announncers says my name kinda fast, and it sounds like he's saying "Margaret Zelanek"! Mark Grudzielanek Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:25 pm

The trick is to work in an office where your bosses do it as much, or more than, you do. Just about every time I walk into my bosses office, (his back is to the entrance), I see ebay or comics or youtube. Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:26 pm

Believe it or not, right now I'm holding my eggs Nicole Ritchie Thursday 26th of July 2007 10:34 pm

What? You mean those silver-dollar pancakes with the blueberry in the middle? That's not hot. Evil Paris Hilton Thursday 26th of July 2007 11:00 pm

Nothing gives a person away like excessive underarm sweat stains caused by the nervous anxiety of prohibited web surfing, so I keep my pits shaved so the anti-perspirant adheres better. Caveman Thursday 26th of July 2007 11:15 pm

The guy in the next cubicle thinks he's going to find a picture of me naked...but they're all fake. I'm a tease. Jessica Alba Friday 27th of July 2007 12:45 am

What? No Ron Paul? I heard a rumor that you can just set your wheel button to minimize the active window. Cuts seconds from your minimizing time without steroids! Barack Obama Friday 27th of July 2007 1:23 am

We make lame jokes about it! Jay Leno Friday 27th of July 2007 2:20 am

I curse their first born, of course. King Tut Friday 27th of July 2007 4:09 am

Why can't you people just leave me alone?! Jennifer Wilbanks Friday 27th of July 2007 11:23 am

I wait until His Holiness has passed by my cubicle and leave myself in the hands of Jebus. Cardinal Antonio Maria Rouco Varela Friday 27th of July 2007 11:25 am

The click-click of ALT+Tab is commonly heard when I walk by people's desks. I can't say I don't use the very same technique! Johnny Depp Friday 27th of July 2007 11:29 am

My monitor faces the whole office, so I keep the browser small at the bottom of the screen... my shoulders block it. alt tab takes too long on my computer, so I just click on work I have open in the background when someone's coming, but I've been caught a few times by the boss. Shit, I'm working my ass off the rest of the day! Prince Harry Friday 27th of July 2007 11:48 am

James Frey told me he uses "a million little browser windows" so as to make the one with personal content less conspicuous. A simple mouse click puts you back in a work related doc. Also, hide the task bar. Oprah Friday 27th of July 2007 11:51 am

Webcam pointed out over the office, towards the door, can see if anyone comes in, soon as i see somebody coming I close the browser... Andy Dick Friday 27th of July 2007 12:29 pm

we don't have access to the internet at all :( Gandalf the White Friday 27th of July 2007 12:30 pm

I waste time throughout the day. I've got my own office and my monitor is not visible from the door. Apple-H to hide my browser is a favorite hot-key. Britney Spears Friday 27th of July 2007 2:30 pm

rickey bobby! Dale Earnhardt Friday 27th of July 2007 4:10 pm

I have a convex mirror and good hearing. Firefox is positioned so that a work-related window can be brought in front of it by sweeping the mouse up and clicking. Arnold Shwarzenegger Friday 27th of July 2007 4:19 pm

It's in the hole! Bill Murray Friday 27th of July 2007 8:19 pm

Always remember to put your schlong away BEFORE hitting alt-tab. Otherwise you'll look pretty silly hammerin' away to cockeyed.com. Geraldo Friday 27th of July 2007 8:21 pm

I happen to like hammerin' to cockeyed ;) Prince Friday 27th of July 2007 8:22 pm

I have a big mirror on my desk so I can see who might be behind and spying on my screen. It hopefully allows me to get my entertainment news minimized in time to be unnoticed. Adam Sandler Saturday 28th of July 2007 6:26 am

I could make a movie about this, or not. Woody Allen Saturday 28th of July 2007 8:50 am

Uh, if you have to hide it you shouldn't be doing it. Wil Wheaton Saturday 28th of July 2007 1:52 pm

I wish I had work. Sanoe Lake Saturday 28th of July 2007 1:54 pm

I'm just commenting to see my picture. Philippe Dauman Saturday 28th of July 2007 1:54 pm

They keep moving my desk around, so I do a lot of monitor swiveling and keep that durn thing extra close to my face. NEW ALBUM IN STORES NOVEMBER 14TH! Solange Knowles Saturday 28th of July 2007 1:55 pm

VR goggles. Mark Burnett Saturday 28th of July 2007 1:55 pm

When I realize I'm not doing what I should be doing, I get back to work or hang out where they keep the oats-I mean water cooler for a refreshing break. Smarty Jones Saturday 28th of July 2007 2:48 pm

At my very enlightened call center browsing is perfectly okay if you don't have someone on the phone. Some sites are banned, such as dating, streaming and porn, but I can read cockeyed as often as it gets updated these days. Dave Grohl Saturday 28th of July 2007 5:14 pm

my brother (with whom i work) and i walked past the reception desk the other day, and the receptionist was looking at the website for the "kegalmaster 2000." as we walked by, she turned and looked us. it all happened so fast that she didn't even have time to make an effort to minimize/alt-tab it. you could tell that she knew she was cold busted. it was funny. Dytek Guy Saturday 28th of July 2007 7:38 pm

Surf the web in the bathroom! Iphone Saturday 28th of July 2007 8:17 pm

I have to cut and paste into a Word document while everyone is on lunch. Then I can read it at my leisure and it looks (hopefully) like I'm actually doing something useful. Don't tell anyone! Saturday 28th of July 2007 9:41 pm

Guns. Guns. Guns. GUNS. GUNS. GUNS. Guns! Guns! Guns! Guns! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS! With that much weaponry in my cube, it is very unlikely anyone will want to look my general direction. Charleton Heston Sunday 29th of July 2007 12:01 am

Keep configuration file open. When the boss walks by, I quick switch to this, so all he sees is a bunch of computer jargon, totally oblivious to the celebrity gossip blogs underneath. Ahmad Chalabi Sunday 29th of July 2007 1:16 am

Andy Dufresne had a computer that he built out of odds and ends that he "borrowed" from the library. He was viewing on-line pornography in his cell one night and I don't think he knew the guards were coming. I heard them open his cell and I thought he was going to get caught. That was the longest night of my life. Morgan Freeman Sunday 29th of July 2007 10:58 am

I used to work for a browser company and the browser needed lots of testing. Audrey Tautou Sunday 29th of July 2007 11:46 am

Since I'm not allowed to fight in Iraq, I have plenty of time for catching up with Stinky, Jobsworth and Wobblers on Facebook, plus if necessary I can always play my "Granny is the Queen" card. Prince Harry Sunday 29th of July 2007 11:54 am

Who am I? Telly Savales Sunday 29th of July 2007 12:58 pm

Do your jobs you lazy yobs. Sunday 29th of July 2007 3:09 pm

I'm too busy getting my paycheck to worry about the internet. Jennifer Tilly Sunday 29th of July 2007 5:45 pm

I build a computer out of four rocks, an old can, and a bunch of dirt, and the thanks I get is the bears laughing at what I am browsing! Bear Grylls Sunday 29th of July 2007 6:14 pm

I say: "There is no computer, only ZULE" Sigourney Weaver Sunday 29th of July 2007 7:07 pm

You are right Oprah Sunday 29th of July 2007 9:33 pm

When we moved into a new building, many employees complained of glare on their screens from all the windows & excessive lighting. They were issued dark no glare screen covers. Hmmmm.....seems of all the employees reporting to me, the only ones that had glare (and thus needed a privacy/no glare screen) are the ones with previous reprimands for excessive personal internet usage. Amazing. Sunday 29th of July 2007 9:50 pm

Hillary! Show me your lies again! Barack Obama Sunday 29th of July 2007 10:10 pm

I'm pretty much my own boss. I just spend 20 mins arguing with myself then distracting myself with some amusing website. So i got that going for me. Which is nice. Bill Murray Monday 30th of July 2007 12:02 am

I used to tell my boss that his wife called to say she's popping by to see him and that buys me a good hour and half. Julia Stiles Monday 30th of July 2007 12:34 am

My underwear is too tight. Iphone Monday 30th of July 2007 11:35 am

Well, I work in an office that is purely project based. The ENTIRE day could be devoted to web surfing and then the next will be full of only work. I find myself sneaking on to keep myself sane on those days and on days like today I want to write you begging to update. Excuse me, I must chase a car now. With someone elses pants on. Lindsey Lohan Monday 30th of July 2007 12:10 pm

I have a mirror attached to the wall above my desk so I can keep a watchful eye on the office door behind me. I also keep my company's website open in a tab at all times for easy switching. Neil Patrick Harris Monday 30th of July 2007 1:45 pm

I'm Batman... I browse... the NIGHT! Christian Bale Monday 30th of July 2007 2:05 pm

I've been a fan of the Alt-Tab switch for many years, and at my current job, that is my "fake-out" of choice. My cubicle is right along a hallway, so people are always behind me, and it sucks! Monday 30th of July 2007 3:05 pm

Keep your boss from snooping by distracting him with other things. Pull the fire alarm. Put something stinky in the microwave. Install funny sound events on his computer, like making it play a new instance of the full-length "Stairway to Heaven" every time he opens or closes a window. Forge a memo that says his wife ran away to Bermumada with Octavio. That'll give you time to surf. Alan Alda Monday 30th of July 2007 3:55 pm

I'm fortunate enough to have my own office but when I hear the main door to my building open I switch to a work related screen until I know no one is coming to see me. Christina Aguilera Monday 30th of July 2007 4:25 pm

I work in Information Technology. My department provides support for all of the other departments, and we are mostly unsupervised. Hence, we have no problem bending the rules. Besides, my boss is very cool. If he were to ask about a website, I would just have to say we are reviewing it to determine whether or not to add it to our filter, St. Bernard iPrism. Monday 30th of July 2007 5:43 pm

When I come across my staff, well "the help" , surfing. I make a mental note to never let them unionize and then make another mental note to grab a cheeseburger. Cuba has a much better method of dealing with this problem: they simply do not have the internet. Problem solved! IF only our brainless CHIMP of a president could figure this out! Michael Moore Monday 30th of July 2007 7:26 pm

I close my office door for a "very important call". Criss Angel Monday 30th of July 2007 8:48 pm

I work in a grocery store and I'm fairly sure the only people that have computers are the owners, so they can do whatever they want. Monday 30th of July 2007 8:49 pm

I requested a privacy screen for just this reason and was denied (because they cost $250+). I am now negotiating to get my desk turned so that the computer screen doesn't face the door. I'm claiming it's because I work on so many "confidential" documents. Ha! Prince Tuesday 31st of July 2007 8:23 am

When I was in a cube, I used to copy internet web pages into word documents to read. This only works on large documents, like e-books etc, not short snippets like news stories. Cardinal Antonio Maria Rouco Varela Tuesday 31st of July 2007 8:34 am

I think it is funny that we all angle our monitors away from the door & think we are fooling someone. Who are we trying to kid? Your boss knows why you have that monitor set up that way! And that is why his monitor is set up that way! Everyone does it & everyone knows why they do it! Wake up! Alec Guinness Tuesday 31st of July 2007 8:37 am

I give the monitor a twist! M Night Shymalayan Tuesday 31st of July 2007 10:56 am

I work out of the home. OJ Simpson Tuesday 31st of July 2007 11:11 am

The Travellers don't care about buffer internet rules. Minnie Driver Tuesday 31st of July 2007 11:16 am

Try Winboss. Free and completely gets rid of the minimized window with a hotkey. Jerry Seinfeld Tuesday 31st of July 2007 11:26 am

They liquidated my office today. Subprime is NOT contained!!! Dytek Guy Tuesday 31st of July 2007 2:32 pm

I am offended Caveman Tuesday 31st of July 2007 5:17 pm

I show people a video of me drinking my own piss... Then they know not to screw with me. Bear Grylls Tuesday 31st of July 2007 5:22 pm

Seriously? Why can't someone create a metafilter (is that the word? Anyway the same thing they used to create the "malkovitch" websites where every word was malkovitch) that will take the website you want to see/read/whatever and make it look like an excel spreadsheet or word document? Actually, if you could just remove the pictures from websites but keep the links,you'd probably be fine Elvis Wednesday 01st of August 2007 3:01 am

There is no digital playthings allowed in my office. So there, dirty American cyber-corporatists! Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani Wednesday 01st of August 2007 8:15 am

I always have lots of papers and things on my desk, plus another work-related window open to quickly cover up my personal site. Hillary Duff Wednesday 01st of August 2007 12:37 pm

At our office, everyone is completely candid about it. It never usually gets worse than craigslist though. Iphone Wednesday 01st of August 2007 12:51 pm

The computers here at FOX were meant for looking at pornography, actually. What? It's not like we do any research around here. Bill O'Reilly Thursday 02nd of August 2007 3:52 am

I used to paste the articles I read as text in MS Outlook. Of course, this won't work for anything with Graphics Thursday 02nd of August 2007 2:12 pm

LOL Bono Thursday 02nd of August 2007 4:01 pm

3545 Thursday 02nd of August 2007 6:53 pm

I am lucky, I stated that since I have tons of private information on my monitor (ssn's and stuff)that I should get one of those nifty privacy screens. Now, you must be standing directly behind me to see the screen. Add a mirror and you can't be snuck up on. Grab the office supply catalog and check them out. If you have no private info, just say you need a glare screen for bad eyes Natalie Portman Thursday 02nd of August 2007 9:30 pm

I listen to the sound of footsteps. I know my boss wears high heeled shoes. Everyone else wears sneakers or a softer sounding shoe. Britney Spears Thursday 02nd of August 2007 10:44 pm

I work from home. And I live alone. God, I'm lonely. Adrian Brody Thursday 02nd of August 2007 11:51 pm

I work for google. We're paid to surf all day in order to find new URLs for our search engine. When I find a new one I write it on a piece of paper and put it in my bushel basket. When my basket is full I take it down to the data entry department and turn it in for my cafeteria meal voucher. I'm getting really hungry so I better get back at it... Ed Helms Friday 03rd of August 2007 12:14 am

This got to be a big problem at my office so they uninstalled the web browsers on all our computers. Now I have to do all my surfing at the library because mother won't let me use her computer anymore. Ira Glass Friday 03rd of August 2007 12:28 am

In my office I seldom wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something exotic. Bill Murray Friday 03rd of August 2007 4:33 pm

I like to watch snuff films on YouTube while I am at work. Caveman Friday 03rd of August 2007 8:34 pm

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