Just before Halloween, I got the idea to post a funny new auction on ebay: a "flat screen".

I rushed to Home Depot to buy a window screen. I was practically skipping through the aisles, excited about the absurdity of it, when I realized that they don't sell window screens there, you have to have them custom made.

After Halloween, I got around to ordering one, from Sierra Window Coverings in Sacramento. The price was $18. It would take 2 days, they said, but then called me later with a different story:

"Mr. Cockerham, this is Gene from Sierra Window Coverings. When I told you the screen would be done Friday, I lied. It is done right now."



I picked it up at lunch, took photos with Sarah the next night, and posted it on November 7th.

The auction was a pretty big hit, attracting a lot of views and a number of emails. 


Nov. 7, 2003,

I am wondering if your flat screen is compatible with my custom 3X5 inch combination plastic fly swatter/High-Power Amplified Indoor TV Antenna. Or, should I be looking for an older model?

Thanks for the what's up,


  Ha ha! I THINK so, but I'll have to check with my TERMINEX technical guy.


Nov. 8, 2003,

is this screen used over a window to keep bugs out or is it a screen used to project onto?


  the kind for bugs.


Nov. 8, 2003

what is dpi resolution aspect?


  The mesh on the screen is pretty tight, one thread per 16th inch. (32 thread count).


Nov. 10, 2003,


Is there anything wrong with this product? Will there be a need for an additional investment after purchase?

Thx, phardy


  Well, it is 18" by 32", so if you don't have a window that big, you won't really be able to use it.

It is an insect screen for a window.


Nov. 12, 2003,


You mean to tell me that if I outbid everyone else I will get a 361/2 " TV "new" foctional and all for that price.

I was also wondering aprox. how long would it take for delivery in Canada, Ottawa, Ontario.




  No. It is not a television. It is a screen. like for keeping flies out of your window.


Nov. 12, 2003,

You are selling a screen for your windows right?? Why the remote control pictured????

-TC Customize


  I thought it was funny that we use the term "flat screen" for television sets now, so I thought I would make a funny auction with a regular window screen.

I always try to get a gal in the photo, even though she doesn't have anything to do with the screen.

Thanks for writing!

-Rob Cockerham Cockeyed.com

Nov. 12, 2003

Please cancel my bids on this item. Yes, it's a good joke, but your ad misled me into placing this bid.

Thank you,

Phil Ejercito


  Ok. No problem.

Did the photos load properly?


How many lines of resolution does this have. Is 1080i compatible?


  It is a screen for a window, to keep insects out when the glass is up.

There are about 16 wires per inch.

Thanks for writing!


Nov. 12, 2003,

Thanks for the info. boy am I a sucker!! (grin)


God Bless America

Nov. 13, 2003,

if the flat screen has no unsightly cords how does it hook up to cable or a playstation 2?

-George Koay


It can't. It is just a flat screen, like the kind that keeps bugs out of the house when the windows are open.


Nov. 13, 2003,

Well, I must compliment you *snicker* on your VERY attractive *stifle* Flat screen TV *wink wink nudge nudge*.

It just goes to prove my point that humanity is stupid. When I'm sending this, the bidding is at $105. 105! I can't believe that many people have fallen for it, (or REALLY want a screen for their windows for some reason).

Well, the best part is that they can't do anything against you! It doesn't SAY that it's anything BUT a screen, hmm?

Well, kudos to you, and good job. Hope you make a mint off of that sucker!

- Richard the Gamer

Nov. 14, 2003

i was wondering if i could withdraw my bid because i thought that this was a flat screen TV and i did not know it was for stopping bugs...... because that hole thing about it goes well with a dvd player made me think that it has to be a flat screen tv :S sorry but i would realy appreciate it if i could just withdraw my bid

thank you

Nov. 14, 2003

Dear stylograph,
-------- (------------------------- BC Canada) has agreed to purchase the following eBay item on Nov-14-03 01:32:30 PST


Nov. 14, 2003

LMFAO!!!! This is genious! $89.15 shipping to the UK? T-shape Universal Remote? hahahaha



Nov. 17, 2003,

I'm interested in a larger flat screen. Do you have any others in stock? Say, the size of a storm door? Now, that's the flat screen for me!

-Jill Jillery

Nov. 18, 2003,
I can not believe people are so stupid. There is definitely a process of natural selection going on here. This is a real crack up. Keep up the good work.


Nov. 19, 2003,

Someone actually purchased your window screen for $100 bucks!?

Damn dude... hmmm... however your advertisement is false... your add does "imply" that it is a TV screen and not a window screen... although it is painfully obvious that it is a window screen... 

Hope ya don't end up in small claims court for that one! :)

Nov. 19, 2003,
Why are you trying to deceive people? Don't say you aren't either. I like the way you have some lady hold a remote up to a screen. What a DA!



Did your Flat Screen auction get pulled from eBay?
I was trying to show it to a buddy, but couldn't find it?

Cliff Lee DNRC -o
Dec. 5th, 2003,
Are you kidding? Did this guy actually pay for a window screen. I must say I got a good laugh on this.

Jay J.

Dec 13, 2003,

Dear Robert Cockerham (rob@cockeyed.com),

We appreciate that you chose eBay to list the following item(s): 2358379365 Awesome 36 inch Flat Screen - pule

However, your listing(s) was in violation of Section 9 of our User Agreement.....

(ebay cancellation notice)


I thought I put in enough photos to show without a doubt that it was a window screen, but the bright woven wire actually ended up looking a little like glass in one of the photos. The winning bidder was rather embarrassed, and actually figured it out before the auction ended, blaming it on his younger brother.

I was only trying to entertain.

I don't know why ebay pulled the auction after the auction was over.


copy of the flat screen auction | other dorky auctions | home | contact Rob  December, 2003.  

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