29 Liquids which Should Never be Allowed on Commercial Aircraft

1. Bleach
Extremely poisonous as a liquid or gas.

2. Purell
Can be transformed into sticky napalm-like material with the addition of Vaseline and diesel gasoline.

3. Barbeque Starting Fluid
Can also be used to start fires outside of the barbeque, e.g., in a 737.

4. Diet Dr. Pepper
Aircraft passengers and crew unlikely to be able to distinguish it from regular Dr. Pepper.

5. Tartar control toothpaste
Can be used to disable the smoke alarm in the bathroom.

6. Starbucks Soy Latte
Vaporized soy acids can cause blindness.

7. Soy Sauce
Can be distilled into pure sodium metal, which is highly reactive.

8. K-Y Warming gel
May help re-kindle a fire in the cockpit.

9. LSD
makes me to hallucinate.

10. Mustard
Can be boiled to create "mustard steam" a powerful nerve agent.

11. Bottled water
Can be chemically broken into explosive Hydrogen and Oxygen.

12. High Fructose Corn Syrup
Dr. Oz says eating this is like putting razor blades into your liver.

13. Pledge Furniture Polish
May cause spotting. Always test on an inconspicuous area of the crew before use.

14. Mike's Hard Lemonade
Sweetened booze may help soften the aircrew
's defensive posture.

15. Baby formula
It is a "formula". That should be your first hint.

16. Tortilla Soup
Sometimes used to conceal pointy corn shards.

17. Neutrogena T-Gel
Can be combined with other anti-dandruff shampoo letters to make TNT-Gel.

18. Jamba Juice
"Immunity boost" may give attackers superhuman strength.

19. Watermelon Juice
Dries in warm air to form contact explosive.

20. V8 juice
Delivers a wicked case of the farts. May also contribute to "brown out".

21. O.J.
Like a ticking time bomb.

22. Scorpion Venom
may cause dizziness when injected into bloodstream.

23. Coal
Highly flammable in liquid form.

24. insulin (Humulin L)
May interrupt natural blood sugar equilibrium.

25. Red Bull Energy Drink
I can't drink that shit. Makes my heart feel like it is going to scramble up and out of my ribcage.

26. Mercury
Dissolves aircraft on contact.

27. Desert Eagle
It can blow a hole through you that is the size of a garbage can lid.

28. Axe body spray
Compels all of the hot women to scramble over the seats to get a piece of this.

29. Listerine Pocket Mist
The fresh, clean taste may disarm air marshals and flight crew.

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Last updated January 15, 2007.

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