Fake Printer Sample

Some pranks simmer inside my skull for a while before I actually perform them. Actually, all of them do.  The fake printer samples prank has been on the back burner for at least 2 years.

Wherever printers are sold, you find them: crisp colorful printouts showing the whole palette of a printer's ability.

The Epson print out on the left has a Martha Stewart look-alike & a New England scene 

In the old days you could count on the printout having (A) a beautiful woman's face,  (B) a beautiful piece of machinery and (C) the words "near photo-realistic".

Things have opened up a little more, and now you can spot a wide variety of images there.

I figured as long as the printout had the name of a printer on it & it was full-color, it would be believable.

This Hewlett Packard Sample Print has a lizard & a guy holding a camera.

 

The obvious joke is a latex-clad porn star, but I was afraid that anything too racy would be discarded by a prudish saleswoman.

I decided instead to compose a sheet that promoted my smiling face as much as the fictional printer.

The first step was to photograph my own HP DeskJet 932C & Photoshop in a Suze Randall girl to spice up the printer itself..

Then I copied the logos and trademarked slogans of the printer manufacturers and started composing my own colorful work.

Here is what I came up with:  a mosaic of  5 images and some ridiculous text:

 HP PhotoSmart P1000/P1100A Printers

Introducing the world's most time-worthy printing process machine

Print now like the time for printing has finally arrived!

Great print quality on any paper, even sandpaper (up to 300 grit)
Results that look most like the original photo or currency with HP's PhotoREt III color-layering technology
Special projects made simple!

Brilliant photo quality with HP's PhotoREt III color layering technology
Automatic color matching with ColorSmart III---so what you see onscreen is what you print
Quick printing at up to 9 pages per millisecond in black and 7 pages per hour in color
Compatible with Microsoft(R) Windows(R) 3.1x (enhanced mode), 95, 98, and NT 4.0, 2000 Professional; Mac OS 8.1 or above; and MS-DOS(R)applications-
--with a choice of parallel or USB connectivity (USB for Windows 96, Windows 2000 Professional, and Mac OS only)
Compact size and quiet operation are ideal for pocket or purse.


The pictures are of me in front of an eyeball billboard in Vienna, on a Scooter in Florence & on a laptop on a ship.  Also featured are a moon-rover photo & a bee photo.  Note the blue "invent" logo. That is HP's way of motivating you to "do your own thing" with their printers.  I guess you could say they asked for it.

 


I had so much fun with the first one I thought I would put together a second one at the same time.

The epson logo is about the easiest thing in the world to fake. I got to use lusty women for this image, plus the shot of leif, mark and I brushing our teeth from how much is inside toothpaste.

 

EPSON Stylus Photo 895A

YOU'VE GOT TO SEE IT IN EPSON COLOR. TM

Colors that break out of the page and slap you in the face

7-color, high 920 dpi-resolution inks
Print professional photo-prints for funerals & weddings
Supports Edge-to-Edge photo printing and EpiJet
TM tattoo printing
Official print medium of Kodak.com, Cockeyed.com & Polaroid.com
 

Perfect for home publishing, graphic design or everyday office use.

I printed up two of each at the highest resolution my printer could handle on the nicest paper I have.

Then I took them to Kinko's to get them laminated.  The real thing is hardly ever laminated, but I have found that people are quite reluctant to destroy anything that is housed in clear plastic.

I went to Fry's electronics first, and placed one of each, but I was unable to get a photo there.  They are kind of anal about people taking photos in there...or making sketches...or mental notes.

 

A few days later I went to CompUSA and dropped off another one near all the printers.

I plan on leaving some at Best Buy and Radio Shack too.  I'll try Gateway Country if I really feel bold!

PRANK BONUS: I went to all the trouble of making these printouts, maybe you have a design in mind! Download 300 dpi .jpgs of the epson(240K) and hp(250K) printout blanks here, and plant your own fake print samples!  Send me an email if you make one... Don't forget to include pictures of Hitler!

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