Vegemite page 2

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Finally there nothing to do but give the Vegemite a try.
Mike added some lettuce and made a little sandwich.

It was terrible! My sub-Australian constitution couldn't handle the massive nutritional assault! 

Niacin! Riboflavin! Thiamine! It was like a three-pronged pitchfork of B vitamins jamming into my tongue!

Mike snapped this photo just before I blacked out.

I regained consciousness and lay huddled in a corner until Mike came over and pulled the bread out of my hand.

We didn't want to waste the bread, so Jane came up with a plan to dilute the Vegemite with another Kraft product, Pimento spread.

The pimento spread diluted the taste of the Vegemite with its own terrible taste. This was like trying to extinguish a burning pile of hair with patchouli oil. 

We also tried some Kraft Cheezin' 'n Squeezin' pasteurized process cheese food. With that many apostrophes in the name, it had to be good!

It had the consistency of toothpaste, sliming out of the bottle in a thick snake of cheese. Unfortunately, that was its only appeal.

Our bottle of Cheezin' 'n Squeezin' had somehow EXPIRED. It was awful!

All Kraft products are now banned from our home.

Only Farmer John's plastic chub of liverwurst could save this gastronomical train wreck.

The meat-spread did it! With crisp lettuce, even spreading, and the ujjayi breathing technique, we were able to eat the sandwiches!

We couldn't eat all the bread that day, but the Vegemite acted as a powerful preservative. It strongly resists water and provides superior protection against rust and corrosion.

With any luck, we'll be eating these sandwiches for weeks!


Special thanks to Scott Eiby for the jar of Vegemite!


I've received quite a bit of advice regarding how much Vegemite I should have used, but it's really hard to understand just how thin it should be without seeing some photos first. In fact, maybe this is a perfect occasion for international verification!

In my defense, I invite you to view images from the official Vegemite website, the bread is always dark brown with vegemite!

Guest Gavin Hallam's answer to the Vegemite episode: How much is inside Marmite?

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Last updated Sept. 23, 2002.

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