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Behold! Cup Noodles! So convenient. So cheap. So mysterious. Please join me on a voyage to explore its many secrets. Mystery #1: Why is Cup Noodles Triple-Wrapped? |
Despite costing a mere 34¢, Cup Noodles are sold in styrofoam cups capped with a glued paper top. The cup is then shrunk into a clear plastic film and then dressed in a printed paper vest. This seems like terrible overkill to me, but I was pleased to find that the total weight of all that packaging weighed less than 16 grams. |
Mystery #2: How is One Supposed to Close the Lid?
Despite clear instructions, it is literally impossible to close the lid as illustrated.
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Once bent back, the paper top will not lie flat unless assisted by tape, pins or a brick. And I don't think I'm the only one who has tried to stab-fold the paper tab into the soft styrofoam rim. What methane-drunk petroleum engineer thought we would be able to contain this steaming pressure cooker with a curl of paper?
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Mystery #3: What Happened to the "OF"? Why is it "Cup Noodles" instead of "Cup of Noodles"? The Answer: That's the reason for the packaging overkill and the peek-a-boo lid trick. They are trying to hide this no-noodle zone from prying eyes! It also explains why the "OF" is missing. To include that one word would imply that the cup is full of noodles, not just that it contains some noodles, some air. Bastards! Now that I've found the secret space, I intend to use this information. Mostly I'll use it to surprise other Cup Noodle eaters with a hidden tea bag or a teaspoon of unsweetened cherry Kool-Aid powder. Or maybe I'll just fill it full of barbecued pork, and smuggle some nutrition into my lunch. |
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