Testing Viscosity

Page 1 2 3

Goldschlager is an exotic cinnamon liqueur that contains flakes of real gold. It is typically used as a social lubricant.

The liqueur is saturated with sugar, so I expected the viscosity to be high, but Goldschlager also contains 43% alcohol.


Metal balls fell in 4, 3.22, 3.37 and 3.15 seconds, so the Goldschlager had a higher viscosity than the Mt. Dew.

If Pepsi ever adds gold flakes to Mountain Dew, I think they should call it "Prospector Dew" but Brooke votes for "Mountain Dew Gold-Rush"

Since starting the Michael Jackson Trans-dimensional aura-wellness regimen, I've been trying to increase my intake of pure gold, so I drank as much of our sample material as I could stomach.

After the Goldschlager measurement, I decided to clean out the measuring tube, but the inside of the tube was very tough to get to.

For cleaning advice, I turned to a popular black-powder muzzle-loading site. They gave me the lowdown on an awesome cleaning technique! The site showed me how to run a long wire with a cloth at the end to swab the pipe clean.

Without their help,  I would have totally neglected the nipple, hammer and frizzen area.

The next liquid we tested was Robitussin. This red liquid cough and cold medicine was visibly thicker than the other liquids we had measured. 

Robitussin contains guaifenesin, a systemic expectorant. Drinking this heavy syrup will thin your mucous and actually reduce viscosity within your own body. How is that for pharmaceutical irony?

We timed three steel balls falling through the liquid: 5 seconds, 4.6 seconds and 5.12 seconds.

This was the most viscous fluid we had measured so far.

Next on our list was Mrs. Butterworth's Pancake Syrup.

Mrs. Butterworth has been quoted as claiming she "takes her own sweet time" and "my syrup has got to be thick to pour this slow"

Indeed, quotes like this got her into trouble among her syrupy peers. When she began claiming she was "twice as thick as the other syrup", she began getting death threats from the Royal Canadian Mounted Mafia.

Severed Mrs. Butterworth's heads were sent as a horrifying warning. 

The disembodied heads were gruesome at the time, but some ended up in the ocean, resulting in extremely treasured pieces of Americana. More valuable than a Chihuly anemone, this rare, collectable beach glass features Mrs. Butterworth's face.

Please read Testing Viscosity Page Three.

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Last updated March 9, 2003.

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