When Sacramento's Downtown Plaza underwent a radical facelift in 1995, all of Sacramento watched. K street had stagnated...again, but a two-story outdoor mall with over 100 retail outlets was waiting to revitalize the look and feel of downtown. It did. One new display was a "Terrace Café" sign on the 2nd floor welcoming hungry mall-goers to such mall staples as Sbarro, Jasper's Giant hamburgers and Hot Dog on a Stick. The terrace café sign had wrought iron lettering and three icons at the bottom: a strawberry, a croissant and a coffee cup. Within 6 months, the gold strawberry was gone. I suspect that some drunk from the mall super-tavern America Live stole it late one night.
The missing icon went unrepaired for months. Three bolts stuck two inches out of the wall, ready to hold a new gold sculpture...a great gold sculpture. Over the summer I had learned how to carve blue Styrofoam, a tiny-celled cousin of white Styrofoam, great for sculptures and display. I had been working on County displays for the California State Fair with Richard Bay, a Professor at CSU Sacramento. I decided to replace the strawberry...with a golden turkey!
I quickly carved a new icon at home, primed and painted it gold. The next day after work, I folded a piece of cardboard in half and covered the turkey for its trip to the mall! In broad daylight I squished the foam bird onto the awaiting bolts. There were a few people in the mall, but they were ignoring me. I backed off 30 feet or so and took a picture.
I knew that no one was in charge of upkeep on this sign, or they would have fixed it months ago...if my turkey could last two days, it would stay forever. I left for a week to New York City.
It stayed.
I returned triumphantly. I told everyone I knew about it. I would get status reports at the café I worked at on a daily basis.
"Hey Rob! Your turkey is still up!" Kara would say. I would just nod knowingly.
It stayed up for eight months, but eventually it disappeared. I doubt mall management had anything to do with it but perhaps word got back to them that they a joke had been played on them. When I learned it was gone, I knew I had to replace it, but I didn't have access to any more blue Styrofoam.
Eventually I got my hands on a good-sized slab, through Richard Bay, and carved out a new icon.
The golden banana went up September 22nd, 1997 and it is still there. Once again I struck in broad daylight. As you can see, my carving abilities improved, but the color match is not any closer. I actually used the same can of bronze spray paint for both the turkey and the banana.
My original plan was to make the banana unmistakably phallic, but I chickened out in the planning stages. Working for hours on a sculpture that was taken down immediately would have been very disappointing, and I didn't want to risk it. In retrospect it is not nearly as nonsensical as the turkey. Perhaps I will replace it someday.
I used a jigsaw for the rough cuts and an Xacto blade for the finer modelling. After some sanding, I painted the fish with a red primer coat 
A friendly surfer from Seattle, SunLily, sent me the image I thought I would never see again, the ORIGINAL strawberry. She found it in a commercial design book. Isn't that great? Ask Jeeves what the odds of that are!
At my Welcome Back/Cinco de Octoberfest party, On October 8, 1999, Kizzy told me that the Coffee cup at downtown plaza was missing! I went the next day to confirm it, and got this great picture:
I picked out a great design for the next golden icon, before I could get more blue styrofoam, I missed my chance! Last night, I was getting in line for a sneak preview of Fight Club at Downtown Plaza and I spot some guy carrying a gold banana. He isn't wearing a uniform or anything, he is blond, and I think he even had his kid with him. So I ask him, "What's that?!" and he says, "it's a banana". I can see where he is going with it, but I wanted to get in line and not draw too much attention to myself. Sure enough, when I get out of the theatre, a funny-looking banana is hanging on MY SPOT! I am in shock! Was it the original designer? Another renegade artist? I can't believe it! Who was that guy!?
I went back this morning and took another picture. 
Sometime in December I was back at the mall and saw that the new banana was gone. I didn't want to miss my opportunity again, so I set the wheels in motion to get my hands on more foam. Unfortunately, I was stymied for weeks, but eventually got some from my sister Sue in Oakland.
On February 3rd, I was interviewed by Amy at the Sacramento News and Review regarding my website. The SN&R is a free weekly paper that is very popular in town, and I knew that I had to act before Amy's article hit the stands. The mall trickery was not going to benefit from my new local fame. I began carving the new icon, an old-style whiskey bottle. 
I regret to inform you of the latest development. On Sunday afternoon, I saw my opportunity slip away once again: The cup has been replaced.
Has this saga come to an end? I am not sure. Obviously someone is paying better attention to the icons than they were 3 years ago. It is probably time to move on..to move up. Opportunity is everywhere; the zoo, parks, light-rail stations. Maybe I'll try my hand at brick-laying.
I'll keep my eyes open, watching and waiting, because this big jug of whiskey needs a home.
other pranks | Last updated February 7, 2000
write Rob@Cockeyed.com
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