Skyscraper Qurans

In February, 2012, the Basram Airforce base in Afghanistan came under protest and foreigners came under attack. The incident was fueled by reports that at least two Qurans had been destroyed there, infuriating those who consider the book to be sacred.

For me, immersed in western culture, it's surprising to hear about a physical book being so important. In the US, our default holy book is the Bible. Almost everyone treats them with respect, but you'd be hard pressed to find someone who'd be willing to kill or die for the book itself.

After the events at Basram, I knew better. The Quran isn't like the Bible. You gotta protect 'em. Hard.

I took action immediately. I contacted several friends around the nation and began a program of getting Qurans into the safest places I could think of: Inside national landmarks and at the top of skyscrapers.

No. That wasn't it. The goal was to protect the skyscrapers and national landmarks by keeping a Quran inside. Any extremist who attacked these buildings would risk destroying the holy book.

I found plenty of helpers. I made it clear we'd have to get these Qurans into tall buildings. Almost everyone knew a great spot where they could shield an important building from damage.

I immediately shopped Amazon.com and found a bounty of low-priced Qurans to distribute.

There were ample Qurans available in the $3 price range, with another $4 for shipping. I bought eight, and sent them out to their new homes. Everyone was on board with the rules: We'd handle them with great care.

Please read the stories below, describing where the Qurans were placed. My story is first. Click on the names below to expand other stories.

• Rob - Wells Fargo Tower, Sacramento, CA

  • Determined to find the best skyscraper in Sacramento, I started with the towering tan castle called the U.S. Bank Building. This is a treasured building in Sacramento, fairly new and attractive enough to hold a desireable wedding reception venue: The Tsakopoulos Galleria. This building is also the home of Sacramento's Central Library.
    
    

  • A quick check revealed that they already had a Quran at this location.
    
    It wasn't actually on the shelf. It was in the reference section. This meant that the Quran would never be checked out. It would always be here, protecting this building. I decided to find another location for my Quran.
  • 
  • My pick was the Wells Fargo Center at 400 Capitol Mall: The tallest building in Sacramento.
  • 
  • Although the lobby was something of an exhibit hall, the upper floors of the Wells Fargo Center were closed to visitors. Without knowing anyone who actually works there, I scrambled to find a safe, quiet place for the Quran.
  • Instinctively, I walked into an elevator. Unfortunately, the elevator operated with a key-card, and although the doors shut, it wouldn't go up without proper credentials.
  • 
  • As if by divine providence, I looked around and found a concealed shelf at the top edge of the elevator car, next to the fluorescent lights. I slid the Quran onto the shelf, out of view.
  • Next to the fluorescent lights, It was difficult to notice, and tricky to photograph. It was nearly an ideal hiding place.
    I quickly exited the building, this Sacramento home of an international bank, and the new home of a paperback Quran.
• Mike - Disneyland, Anahiem, California

  • Mission Accomplished!

    I couldn't wait to get my Koran in the mail and do my civic duty to help protect one of Americas landmarks. While waiting for it to arive, I began thinking about where to place it. I live in the Los Angeles area so there are a wide variety of places deserving of protecting. Finally I settled on Disneyland. What better place than the happiest place on earth? Sure, they have "security checks" before you enter the park, but I felt that it was deserving of a little extra protection.

    

  • I was so excited the day I checked my mail and found the book waiting for me!

    Finally, the big day arrived. I usually travel pretty light when visiting Disneyland but my girlfriend was a good sport and was willing to keep it in her purse for me (thank you sweetheart). As we wandered the park, I began looking for the perfect spot to place the Koran. I wanted to pick a spot that was out of the way and not entirely obvious so that the cleaning crew wouldn't pick it up and destroy my chance at protecting the park.

    

  • When I initially chose Disneyland as my location, I thought it would be very easy. Most of the shops have piles of nick-knacks lining the ceiling and everywhere you turn, there are books and decorations to add to the look and feel of the place. However, it turned out to be a tougher task than I has thought. Most of the areas that were easily accessible had either fake books or ones that were glued down so kids wouldn't pull them off the shelf, or had the decorations placed behind cages. I saw countless places that would be perfect spots if only I could get behind the cage.

    The shops turned out to be equally difficult. Most of the shelves with the decorations were too high to easily reach or were right next to the register where I would be easily caught. Something told me that their minimum wage jobs wouldn't be enough to convince them of the need to protect the park from terrorists so I had to keep searching. It amazed me that in a place so large with so many nooks and crannies filled with decorations, there were so few places to hide a book.

    As the end of the day drew close, I began to fear that I would not be able to find a home for the Koran and I would have to think of something else. Luckily, my friends decided to do some last minute shopping and stopped into one final store. It was there that I saw a tall bookshelf and instantly knew that I had found my spot.

  • 

    It was a rather small shop and the bookshelf was in full view of the register, but the person working it was too busy helping other customers and the other guests were focused on their shopping so I figured that nobody would notice me. I pulled my girlfriend aside, retrieved the Koran, and slipped it on top as casually as I could. I'm sure I looked as guilty as ever but nobody was paying attention to me. Once I placed the book, I noticed a layer of dust on my fingers that had rubbed off the top. I couldn't be happier! I knew that I had found the perfect spot where the cleaning crew never went and therefore, it wouldn't be discovered.

    
    I snapped a couple of pictures and continued to pretend to shop before going home knowing that I could now sleep soundly knowing that this proud piece of Americana was now just a little safer.

    -Mike

• Karen - Ferry Building, San Francisco, CA

  • After two failed attempts in other buildings I dropped the book in the upper level of the Ferry Building in SF.
    
    

  • I was quite nervous! I got over there just about 5 minutes before 6pm. Rather than just drop it somewhere in the marketplace on the ground floor, I went upstairs, which is an atrium with offices on the sides and two spaces that overlook the shops below.
    
    

  • The security guard at the top of the stairs was very friendly and said that I had 5 minutes before they closed the second floor, but I could take a few photos if I wanted--just of the shops below, not the offices. I went to the far end of the building and casually took the book out and placed it next to my bag, and started taking some photos with it at the bottom of the frame. However the guard came over and explained that I could actually only take photos right near the front--within a 20-foot radius of where she sat. I quickly scooped my things up and was escorted back to the main entryway. Only 3 minutes left!

  • 
    I slipped around to the other side of a large potted plant and took the book out when she was talking to another guard. I slid it under the railing a bit and onto the ledge overlooking the marketplace below and quickly took a few photos. I wanted to push it completely onto the ledge but was afraid it would fall onto someone's head, so I left it wedged under the railing and hurried out of there.

• Pavel - 307 West 38th Street, New York, NY

  • Hey Rob,
    I work in a 20 story building in New York City, and I could just toss a Koran on my desk.
    
    The Koran arrived, and I took some photos. They didn't come out very well so let me know if you want me to retake them - I could wait 'til it's darker outside, for some night shots.

• Smoked Ribs - Oracle Headquarters, Redwood Shores, CA

  • Cockeyed.com Field Report
    Agent: Smoked Ribs
    Location: Belmont/Redwood Shores, CA
    Date: Classified
    Mission: Protect vital United States strategic interests, by placing a Koran in key locations in and around the continental United States. By placing a Koran in these key interests, Islamic radicals will not be able to cause damage to these assets nor the Koran, due to the uncertainty of whether a Koran is remaining within this strategic location.

    
    Field Notes: Sometime on or about 13 March 2012, a courier contacted me at my residence and handed me a package. Upon opening the package, I realized that cockeyed.com had activated the Cockeyed Anti-Terrorist Strategic United Protection Services (CATSUPS). My mission, to locate a key and strategic asset, vital to United States interests, to protect it from potential Islamic terrorist activities.
    
    Since I am part of the Cockeyed.com Emergency Response Team (CERT), I planned on executing my mission within the next 24 hours.

    Within 24 hours of receiving the package, I leave my home state of Misery Missouri headed to Oracle’s world headquarters in Redwood Shores, CA.
    

    Upon arrival at MCI, I promptly boarded my plane in seat 1C, since CATSUPS always fly first class. (I’m not sure how Rob pulls off these good seats....) I give the captain the secret CERT acknowledgement, and that guaranteed me an extra pack of pretzels during the trip.

    After approximately 4 hours of flight time, and watching Family Guy episodes downloaded from Pirate Bay, I arrived in SFO ready to drive down to the target location.

    

    Here is my surveillance photo from the periphery of my intended target. The placement of the Koran is within 500 feet of the Oracle world headquarters.

    I transferred the package into a nondescript envelope in order to protect it from dust, water or anything else that could potentially damage the book. This way it can stay intact, and if it is found, it would give the finder a chance to learn more about Islam with a clean pristine book.
    

    There was a shelf high up in the target location, but I was worried that if the water sprinkler went off, it could potentially damage the Koran. I could have left it here, but decided to maybe find an alternative location.

    

  • One of my favorite prankster tools that I keep in my toolkit, is double sided tape. I could have taped it under a desk in some remote location around the Oracle HQ.
    
    

    There was an air conditioning return nearby, and thought that this would be a great place to hide the package. Based on the cleanliness of the air filter, chances are no one would find it within the next year or 10. But since an air filter is designed to trap dirt/dust, I did not want to leave it here and potentially soil the package.
    

    Finally, I think I found the perfect location. Hide it beside another book. When I placed them side by side, there were no repelling forces, no electrical sparks, nor a molecular reaction into which each book cancelled each other out like matter and anti-matter do when they meet. Seems like these two books got along just fine, and I think we as people should also, regardless of religion.

    Signing off,
    Agent Smoke Ribs

• John Doe - Penn Station, New York, NY
  • An anonymous helper was ready to sneak a Quran into Penn Station in New York, but found that there was already a Quran in the bookstore there. There was no need for an additional one.
    
    

    Instead he opted for a K-mart at the foot of Penn Station One.
    This K-Mart is located in the same complex as Penn Station and the Long Island Railroad. It is a major transit hub.

    
    The book placed in K-Mart pictured below. He did not want to be disrespectful in his placement of the book, but
    K-Mart only had these books.
    
    

• John Hargrave - The Prudential Building, Boston, MA

  • 
    John Hargrave took care of the Prudential building in Boston. You can read about it on Zug.com.

    Zug.com

    
    
• Smash - Detroit Renaissance Tower, Detroit MI

  • The building I placed mine in was the Detroit Renaissance Center.
    Here is an exterior picture:
    
    Here is my copy of the Quaran
    
    Here is the 'donation card' I put in.

    
    Here is the book left inside the building.
    
  • The Ren Cen has like 4 or 5 floors of just areas like that where people can sit. I wanted a nicer one with coffee tables and leather chairs, but everyone i went to had people sitting there. So this one seemed like the safest for me.
    

There you have it! Eight Korans purchased, seven Korans in place, seven buildings devilishly resistant to zealot attacks!

I just have to make sure everyone knows which buildings definitely have a Quran in them, which is why I created the Definitive List of Buildings which Definitely have a Quran in Them web page.