Things I Figured Out: Reader Submissions.

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After working at a customer service phone line I realized that they aren't there to help service the customer. They are there to keep the customer from talking to the people that may actually be able to help them. Now that most of these jobs have been outsourced the motivation is even more apparent.

If you ask to speak to a manager, you may not actually be speaking to a supervisor, but to the person sitting in the next cubicle. Getting a manager to take a call is almost impossible.


It is easier to be continuously neat and organized, than to be a slob and try to clean up every so often. So the true way to be lazy is to stay on top of your cleaning and organization.

When planning a wedding, when the wife asks the groom's opinion the only correct answer is, "Which one do you like?" or "Whatever makes you happy." Being a modern, hip, confident woman I thought my wife would have been different. I was wrong.



Nobody calling with an "offer", or selling door to door is trying to do you a favor by bringing their wonderful product/service to your attention. If it was worth anything they wouldn't have to cold call, or bother you at dinner, to get the product out.


Biting toothpaste off of the tube instead of squeezing it onto your brush guarantees that you'll never drop toothpaste again.

Also, to get that "just polished" smooth feel with a manual toothbrush, re-brush your teeth after spitting out your toothpaste and rinsing off your brush, but before rinsing out your mouth.

Finally, the easiest and fastest way to get the water out of your brush bristles is to just suck it out instead of banging it against the sink.


This one should be taught to everyone who's ever used a computer, and let themselves get frustrated by it. Computers are stupid. They are totally incapable of doing anything on their own. In order for them to do anything -- and I mean ANYTHING -- they have to be told, in exacting, niggling detail, how to do it and when to do it. So the next time your computer starts doing something you didn't tell it to do, just keep in mind that somewhere, someone told it to do whatever it is it's doing, and broke down HOW to do it step-by-step.


Even though you may be anticipating a pain-in-the-ass dishwashing time after melting a big fat purple candle in your new fondu pot, cleaning it will be relatively easy, and that candle wax was way too much fun to play with.


Psychiatric medications

They do not work on the condition. They make you feel different, much like how having a beer or taking a puff off a joint makes you feel different. They do not specifically "cure" something like an antibiotic kills a bacterial infection. If they work, it is simply because you're on a psychoactive medication and feel different. 
black cars are generally hotter than other coloured cars.

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June 15th, 2006 

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